whatever
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01-25-10 08:50 PM - Post#317512
Here's a thought I've been contemplating lately: Think about the "manliest" man you know and admire. Could be your dad, a relative, a sports hero, a celebrity, a leader, etc. What is it about him that you admire? Is it his masculinity, integrity, his looks, his talents, etc.
Now, do you have any idea what size his penis is? In some cases, you might, but in most cases, we have no idea what the size of his member is. The point is, size doesn't matter when it comes to being an admirable man! As far as we know, our hero could have a penis smaller than our own!
Now, let's take it one step further: Suppose our hero, the manliest man we know and admire, were to lose his penis in an accident or from cancer. Would that make him any less of a man? NO! Being a man has nothing to do with having a penis or a particular size penis. Being a man has more to do with our spirit and our personalities, not our physical bodies.
Just food for thought. What say you?
Edited by yhwh on 01-25-10 08:51 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.
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GlembyMan
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01-25-10 09:43 PM - Post#317515
In response to whatever
Excellent point.
I used to try to imagine that every single man had the exact same size penis, too. That helps a lot.
Suppose there a was a place where hundreds of other men who had the same issue as you identified themselves and even sent in photos...seems like that would also help create a sence of mutuality and help take down the wall of fear and isolation.
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Skwirl
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I agree with all of what you're saying, yhwh, but from my time here participating in these forums most of the anxiety from size I'm reading comes from performance in bed and measuring up to the bigger guys they are being compared to. I don't hear so much about how it affects someone being a "man". That's my thoughts.
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whatever
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Re: Food for Thought 01-26-10 02:14 AM - Post#317519
In response to Skwirl
That may be true Skwirl, but I think deep down inside when we compare ourselves to other men, in particular our penis size and sexual "performance" what we are really seeking is affirmation regarding our manhood. Do we measure up? For many men that I've counseled, I've discovered that we are all little boys who just want to be affirmed as men. So we try to get that affirmation through sexual partners. But we will never feel like we measure up as long as we keep comparing ourselves to others. There's always going to be someone who's bigger, stronger, taller, etc. We need to see our manhood and our identity in our inward self, not in our physical self. Our bodies are going to age and eventually die, but our souls will live on. Even guys with big penises who have reputations as incredible lovers will grow old and not be able to perform someday. So why compare ourselves to them? It's a no-win situation. We need to find peace with ourselves. Serenity can only happen when we give up comparing ourselves with others and be grateful for what we have. If that includes small penises, then let's accept it and move on with our lives. I, for one, am so thankful that I don't have to compare myself to other men or lovers. I have one wife, one lover (same person, btw) who loves me for me, not for my penis. I don't have to worry about comparison or rejection. That is what brings serenity to me. If I can encourage some of you younger guys with my story, I hope you can see that it's possible to have a fullfilling love life with one person in a committed relationship for a lifetime.
My point of this thread is to see our penis shouldn't define us...as lovers or as men. I truly believe that my wife would love me and continue to make love to me, even if I no longer had a penis. She loves me, the man, not the penis. I hope each of you can find the same kind of love.
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Nubdick
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sorry but to me its not some abstract thought, its fact. being told to your face and being laughed at directly because of my size has nothing to do with some bs psyche job of how manly or unmanly i am. it has everything to do with not having enough to satisfy a woman.
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Rick
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Sorry, but . . . being told to (my) face and being laughed at directly because of my size has nothing to do with . . . how manly or unmanly I am. It has everything to do with not having enough to satisfy a woman.
Hey Dude!
Sorry yourself, but just because someone supposedly told you to your face something about your size, and then supposedly laughed at you, does not prove your point.
Move on,-- and do so now. Stop dwelling on one ridiculously immature incident from your past, assuming it happened as you've stated. Why continue to allow one individual's callousness and shallowness define you?? After all, believe it or not, there are other availabble/accepting people out there.
Btw, your incessant whining, repeating this same one-dimensional theme, over and over, as if you were actually totally trapped in some "hopeless case" scenario by this one incident, is extremely juvenile and quite "unmanly."
Rick
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whatever
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Just because someone has laughed at you and your penis does not mean that your penis cannot please a woman. That's ludicrous! It seems to me you have a choice, you can believe that bs and sit in front of your computer whining about it and playing the victim or you can go out and meet a woman who falls in love with you for who you are and then together you can discover how to please her with what you have. Nubdick, your penis size is perfectly adequate for pleasing most women. I think we struggle because we make the relationship all about sex and our equipment. There's so much more than that! But if all you want is the sex, then you're right, you will probably always be laughed at and ridiculed because those women only want penises to screw, not men to love.
Edited by yhwh on 01-26-10 02:52 AM. Reason for edit: No reason given.
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canuck45
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If 'a person' said you were the greatest lover ever and your penis was perfect, would you immediately believe them and have all insecurity removed? Of course not! So why believe the one negative? Because it validates our internal fears. Self-esteem, confidence, rationalization for our negative feelings instead of moving forward.
If I look at my success instead of failures, Gawd I might have to continue to be successful, not sure how to do that. I am used to failure! Its not my fault I can't satisfy a women, its my penis's fault. I can't change that so I can't ever be a loving satisfying lover so why try?
Adrian  Click My Flag
"Smooth Sailing makes for a dull ride" - Anon
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” - Dalai Lama
“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.” - Buddha |
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Nubdick
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neodeo
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01-26-10 11:38 PM - Post#317543
In response to Nubdick
I agree to some degree that focussing on how you CAN please women as opposed to how you CAN'T may be a better use of ones time. However, I have trouble blaming a guy who already has fears regarding his size and them seemingly has them validated more than once. I have not read all 120 or so of his posts but I wouldnt be on this site if I couldnt see where he is coming from and sometimes "get over it" doesnt come close to helping the situation.
As for the initial topic, I would agree that if my heroes had a small penis that would not hurt them in my eyes. But then maybe that has something to do with being small myself, I dont know. However, I'm not exactly sure what yhwh is getting at because he says that size makes no difference but then says that comparing ourselves to guys who get laid a lot is a no-win because we all get old anyways. To me those ideas sort of contradict eachother because the first thought is it doesnt matter but the second thought is so what if it does. To me the so what would be that guy who has a reputation is getting laid until he gets old and I'm not. And while you may say that the reason I'm not getting any is my mind, nub provided evidence that that's not always the case and he was killed for it.
I would love to hear it if I am mistaken here.
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Vael6943
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01-27-10 12:24 AM - Post#317547
In response to neodeo
The fact of the matter is, a small penis CANNOT please some women. I'm not saying you can't please any woman, but there are those whose physiology and yours won't mesh. There are also those who want more. For example, my penis isn't much longer or thicker than my fingers. After foreplay, a lot of women are let down by the non-existent size increase of the penetrating object..and I've been told as much. You have to be a lot more selective about who you date OR just be secure in your ability to please your partner and to hell with them if they can't accept you.
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Rick
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It wasn't just one person.
Hey Dude!
So,-- continue to play the role of the helpless, pitiful victim, mired in your own self-made misery, allowing a handful of others to define you. Somehow, I'm developing the feeling that this helpless/hopeless role perversely suits you, that you've been actively working at perfecting it for a fairly long time, to the point where you're actually quite comfortable within its closed parameters, and that this self-victimization pattern covers a much broader swath of your life than just your alleged penis-size issue,-- and most importantly, that you have absolutely no intention to seek any change to any well-developed, habitual pattern of behavior or deeply ingrained, negatively-focused mindset whatsoever.
So be it. Nubdick, you ARE your cock, and nothing more, as it's obvious that it totally and completely defines you. Case closed.
And while you may say that the reason I'm not getting any is my mind, Nubdick provided evidence that that's not always the case, and he was killed for it.
Hey Guy!
Not exactly.
He didn't provide valid evidence of anything, other than to display, once again, his totally negative, pre-conceived mindset, a closed mindset which prevents him from even trying. As usual, he moaned and whined, in his peculiarly pitiful way, about his interpretation of some alleged incident that apparently may have occurred at some point in his past, as if that singular incident must henceforth and forever irrevokably shape and define the rest of his life,-- and, in effect, that the rest of us must agree with him, and go along with his self-made victimization.
Btw, as you can see from the above reply, we haven't yet finished "killing" him.
Rick
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Nubdick
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Re: Food for Thought 01-27-10 03:00 AM - Post#317557
In response to Rick
hey rick, theres a neat little feature on this site called "ignore". if you dont like me so much, shut the hell up and use it. otherwise im not going away
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lloydbaker
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01-27-10 03:04 AM - Post#317558
In response to Nubdick
Small penis people gotta be braver than "normally" dicked guys!
Not, that I'm bragging. . . most of my life I indulged "Dutch Courage."
No, I don't really think that about the Dutch. . . that was a smear from the British.
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Rick
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. . . if you don't like me so much, . . .
Hey Dude!
It hadn't even occurred to me as to whether or not I liked you.
Instead, deal with the numerous points that I and others have already raised,-- and stop skirting around them, while attempting to elicit sympathy by continuing to do your "helpless victim" thing,-- and forget about whether or not I like you.
Rick
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canuck45
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I didn't read your post well enough then, sorry. The thing is if we feel bad and receive negative feedback we continue to slide downhill. NOT every women has complained have they? So what did the satisfied women appreciate. Try to focus on your positive features and not the negative. It won't change the size of your penis, but it gives you a positive focus and an I CAN attitude instead of I can't. I can't please women or I can please some women.....just a thought.
I know size is not the end all be all or whatever the expression is, but it can be a downer. I do not believe though that all women base their lover's suitability on the size of his penis only. The trick is finding these more 'sophisticated' women or men.
Adrian Click My Flag
"Smooth Sailing makes for a dull ride" - Anon
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” - Dalai Lama
“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.” - Buddha |
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whatever
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01-27-10 03:22 PM - Post#317584
In response to canuck45
It seems to me that nubdick uses his whining and self loathing as a way to get attention. Just look at how he was able to hijack this thread. Interesting.
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GlembyMan
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01-27-10 06:36 PM - Post#317588
In response to neodeo
yhwh...
You ROCK...I agree with every point you made!
I can define myself with my penis, but never BY my penis....and I am not limited to defining myself as a man in this way alone...there are countless ways.
I have long noted the same expresion in the faces of naked men in the photo sections here. It strikes me that they are seeking validation and personal expression - all with a similar intensity, even desperation, regardless of the minor differences in their bodes.
Really, we are all the same. We just want to be the man.
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 Skot
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 01-27-10 08:10 PM - Post#317591
In response to GlembyMan
Spirit of the post aside, "manliest man"?
I have trouble with this image. It's like saying 'the most humanist human'. I mean other than dick size (which is silly) how would one define a scale of manliness? Body hair? Muscle development? Aggressiveness? Hetersexuality? Having the closest DNA match to a Neanderthal?
Is John Wayne more manly than Obama?
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Rick
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01-28-10 12:56 AM - Post#317600
In response to Skot
. . . "manliest man"?
Hey Skot!
You know, quite possibly, it's some random dude with an incredibly "cute" avatar labelled "Blond and Beautiful."  I wonder who that could be? 
Rick
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