Aken
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01-29-10 03:17 PM - Post#317659
I wonder if men, who have no sex, get less choosey about their desired sex partners. Particular being curious of bisexual experiences.
Perhaps that's the fact because men seem to be more ready to have sex compared to a woman or is it because of the missing experience with the opposite sex, so the known tools are favored...
What do you think?
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Phish
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Hasn't been my personal experience. I've always considered myself to be heterosexual despite my lack of success with women, and I've never really been bi-curious. I think that I have drastically lowered my standards for women but never really considered men.
Edited by RodEnuf on 01-30-10 08:41 AM. Reason for edit: Removed 100% quote of immediately preceding post.
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bristow
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01-29-10 09:18 PM - Post#317667
In response to Phish
Aken,
I was single and had never had a real girlfriend, nor had sex until just under two years ago. I did in that time have bisexual/gay fantasies, I think purely because that's what I had the most real world experiences of; meaning that as a man, I could easily imagine what men looked like in real life and how they behaved.
This brought a realism to fantasy that I couldn't construct from the two-dimensional images of women in porn and imagined intimacy of those in real life I'd seen but never been with.
I think if the only sexual experiences you have are with yourself, for 22 years, as a man, it's easier to fantasize about men. I support your statement "or is it because of the missing experience with the opposite sex, so the known tools are favored."
I also think that in this case, fantasy is not reality and had I actually done any of these things, I would have felt uncomfortable.
Now I've had sex and am in a relationship, it's clear to me again that I wouldn't enjoy doing things with a man - it was just the fantasy and lack of anything to compare it to that led me to be 'curious'.
- Bristow
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 Olli
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01-30-10 12:27 AM - Post#317670
In response to bristow
All of my (few) past experiences have been with girls. It might sound weird, but I feel more at ease and more familiar with female anatomy. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that given my peculiar genitalia, I was initially unfamiliar with both male and female genitals, being fully neither myself ; and since I only had sex with girls, it seems logical that I got more used to their anatomy.
Now I do have male-looking genitals, but they don't work exactly the same, and as I was thinking about it recently, I realised I felt really... 'impressed' and awkward when I pictured myself with another man. I fear I wouldn't know what to do to pleasure him. But I know it has mostly to do with my lack of experience, and that just as I did with women, I can learn.
But to answer your question, I do have a natural attraction towards males as well, but it's true that there's an aspect that probably encourages me : the feeling that a man might understand me better, because he has a similar attachment to his penis and would perhaps be more apt to feel sympathy towards my issue. It would probably be easier for him to put himself in my place, something that has been confirmed to me in several discussions I had about it both with men and women.
[A real loser is somebody that's so afraid of not winning, they don't even try.]
Born intersexed, experience might differ ;). |
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Rick
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Hey Olli!
I'm extremely impressed! 
Being intersexual, your unique vantage point offers all of us a refreshingly special perspective on a wide range of issues. Plus, your eloquence and candor in expressing/explaining yourself, your mixed feelings, and your myriad possibilities, are to be applauded.
Most importantly, each and every one of your posts makes all of us think,-- and re-think,-- as you inevitably offer challenges which often times hadn't even yet been considered. Still, despite any number of possible pit-falls, known and unknown, you project an open, positive, upbeat attitude.
Please continue, as I think you're splendidly wonderful!
Rick
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Olli
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Wow, thanks a lot. I had never seen myself in such a light, to be honest. I think that being able to express my concerns helps me sound less bitter than I feel deep down. Very often, I feel frustrated to the point of being near paralysed with envy and sadness ; then there are times when I try to look at my situation from a different angle, in hopes of finding some soothing thoughts that remind me that I'm still worth something sexually speaking.
In the end, it goes back and forth between frustration and hopefulness, though I've been having more and more of the latter lately.
I'm really grateful to have found this forum, as it gives me an opportunity to voice some deep concerns which I'm still ashamed of talking about with most people. I think that helps me find a little solace too.
(Sorry, I realise I'm totally off-topic there. Let's go back to the original post :p.)
[A real loser is somebody that's so afraid of not winning, they don't even try.]
Born intersexed, experience might differ ;). |
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aussieguy
on a wheel and a prayer
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I wonder if men, who have no sex, get less choosey about their desired sex partners. Particular being curious of bisexual experiences.
Maybe for some guys that might be true. I know that quite a few guys with disabilities with whom I've talked, had said that although they considered themselves to be straight, would consider a same sex partner over no partner. It was more about wanting/needing companionship of some kind though than the actual physical sex.
For me personally I am no less "choosey" at all. I will always have certain standards for people I am with. This is not necessarily about looks but whether or not I can feel a connection with that person. I acquired a physical disability in my late teens but was never one for just "putting it out there". These days I don't have much in the way of sexual contact of any kind and don't have any for extended periods. This is especially true since recently experiencing an injury to my penis which has made drastic changes to my physical anatomy and has made it unusable.
Does this lack of contact make me more inclined to have sex with another guy? No. Although I've always had some curiosity about it, I've never been with another guy. That is not to say that one day my curiosity won't get the better of me.
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Edited by aussieguy on 02-04-10 04:56 AM. Reason for edit: No reason given.
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