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Erection not easy when thinking about size etc.


SUBPAR

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Well i had one girlfriend that i actually fooled around with in highschool 2nd and 3rd base but when i tried for home...

I simply could not get it up.....and im a horny person!!!!

At best my erection gets to 5.0-5.1 inches. but oh man not erect its freakin embarassing....this girl i fooled around with in highschool.. she made a statement to me when she was feeling around for it wanna of the first times through my clothes .. she said "where is it?" that did something to me... scared me and she also said before that it was small..

(when shrunk)

If that werent bad enough she was an asshole alot of the time so when ever we would try to have sex my thing never got up.. i never had erection problems masturbating etc.

 

the reason i brought this up is I have another girlfriend and i think we are getting to that point where

we are going to get to know eachother and eventually have sex....but already im afraid my dick aint gonna work....:(

whats worse theres been a reference to her saying something about size...on a movie they say something about a man thing being able to hang a coat.....she asked me if i know whwat that meant and she told me! saying "it means when a guys thing is big and nice.."

 

any help would be appreciated..im getting depressed just thinking about it.

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Dear Subpar,

 

First, I hope you will fill out your profile so we can get a better idea about you and your stats.

 

Next, do not be concerned about these things you mention. It happens or has happened to everyone. It's really funny how we can be so sexual when we jack off and then when we really are ready and horny for sex it fails. That's called performance anxiety. It happens to everyone at one time or another. It happened to me on the golf course when I played golf. I did well with practice and with my instructor, but when it came time to play the game competitively with others I failed. Performance anxiety happens not just with sex but with life.

 

You've got to get one good success and you are cured. It's all about confidence. That's why every major golfer on the PGA circuit has a psychologist in tow on the payroll. Confidence is everything. Lose it and you lose. Bet you didn't know that sex had anything to do with golf, did ya? lol.gif

 

You may be jacking off too much too. Cut back on the jacking and really get horny and go for it. Your size is not the issue except in your mind. Your girl has no clue about what it takes to keep a guy's confidence up. How would she feel if you asked her where her tits were as you were feeling around? lol.gif

 

You will overcome this obstacle. It takes practice and self confidence. cool.gif

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thanks for your comments.. I can already tell this site is

a good place for supporting eachother...Im glad to have signed up.

 

Wow there is so many questions i have lol...

like if i will be able to do it doggy-style with my girl given the length.. i still gotta poast my girth on here as well gotta watch some movies or think happy thoughts or something......but thats kinda hard when you have to worry about a test in the morning for college lol.

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Welcome SUBPAR wave.gif

 

You will find all the answers you want here. Browse the threads as most, if not all have been asked before. You are not unique, as Ethan points out. Also stop putting so much pressure on yourself, I know, easy to say harder to do. However when you feel you must perform you are less likely to do that. If you enjoy it & enjoy pleasing her then she will enjoy it too.

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Subpar. One of the keys to overcoming preformance anxiety is putting your mind on pleasing your partner and telling yourself over and over to relax. The more passion you pour on your partner, the hotter she will become and the more aroused you and your southern head will be. Thats what sex is all about. Dick size is secondary to passion and the things you say and the way you make a woman feel while making love to her. Another thing. Resist the urge to enter her too quickly and even if she is begging you to put it in, continue your foreplay until you and she cant take it anymore. Boy, you should be a master f---er at point and she should have a great ride. If you need to read a good book on overcoming the male myth that all men are stallions and never fail, be sure to read Bernie Zilbergelds great methods book, The New Male Sexuality.

 

0553380427.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg

 

That book has lots of practical how to methods on overcoming preformance anxiety and lots of tips on arousal for you and your partner in sex.

 

Finally, have you considered dating girls looking for Mr. Right to marry and not just for a romp in the haystack. There is a lot of difference in these two mindsets in our sex crazed society. Good luck.

 

 

 

[Edited to provide links to book at amazon.com with referral credit to Measurection.]

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Welcome Subpar (you're not, really...the handle does not come close to describing the sweet guy you are, to be looking for ways to prepare yourself to be with your girlfriend, to make the experience enjoyable for both of you - that kind of attitude is definitely above par).

 

Corncobb gives excellent, excellent advice.

 

I'm involved with a man with a small, slender penis, and he has suffered performance anxiety each of the two times we've tried to make love. I know he's capable of long and hard erections, because we have had couch adventures that have lasted for hours.

 

I'll tell you what I plan to share with him: what you do when the clothes are on...continue with the clothes off. Make foreplay an event, kissing, caressing, stroking and nuzzling every part of her body, front to back, top to bottom. Give her orgasms with your fingers, your lips, and your tongue. If you do this every time you are together, she will be very, very satisfied, and you will become more relaxed and confident around her, and your erection will maintain and satisfy.

 

Have fun! And visit the forum often - I've only been on a short while, but everyone here is so open, accepting and supportive, and there's always tons of great advice.

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Howdy Sub,

 

I think the critical part re: your prior girlfriend was summed up thusly: "she was an asshole a lot of the time." You may have wanted to like her, but your downstairs buddy didn't. They have minds of their own and sometimes they're right.

 

Best of luck with this new lady, it's just as well you've been getting to know each other first, but consider that erect you're not really THAT small, and frankly chemistry is about more than what parts fit and what size they are or aren't.

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I am 56, have been married for 31 years and have probably been with 30-35 women. Let me tell you this. ..Your dick and mine are about the same size. And when soft, mine is an acorn. Wanna see me turgid, but not fully erect, see my picture.

 

In all the years and through all the women, I had only one tell me I was small. I have had women tell me they have had bigger and they have had smaller. But no one seemed to mind mine. BUT of course I have been my own worst enemy. I let the mind games I play on myself get the best of me. So much so that I could not get it up with a woman unless I told her IN ADVANCE that I was not well hung. That usually led to an "Oh who cares about size" and then I relaxed. But I have always had to tell them first. Some sort of defense mechanism I guess.

 

You need to know that the vagina is not ennervated beyond the first 3 inches, so they cannot really feel up there.. that much more than 7 inches hurt most anatomically normal women and that if a woman is that hung up on or in need of size then she is not for you.

 

As someone else here stated, you should also make pleasuring the woman job one. if you are on her clit and making her moan, make her cum! Again and gain. Trust me, at that point she won't care about how big you are... and if she still does, again, find someone else. 5 inches is not so small that you need be worried about it, and unless you are trying to impress guys in a locker room, who cares how big it is when soft?

 

The best compliment I ever got was from a woman who was wonderfully orgasmic from intercourse. I made her cum over and over from penile penetration with my 5 incher... and she told me I was a "splendifrerous lover." That was because I spent time making love to her and not because of the size of my cock. Most women want to be made love to, to be kissd and caressed, to have their faces held when you kiss them, to have their nipples licked and caressed, to have their clits gently touched and licked, to have you look them in the eye while entering them.. to feel that sex is intimate, special, safe and caring. Most women. The ones who don't, the ones into cock contests, you don't need.

 

Now I can dole out this advice like a pro. What still need to do is learn how to believe it! And until I do, this site is of enormous help.

 

Hang in there my friend! So to speak!

 

TD49

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In the last four years, I have been having erection problems. I'm thirty two and believe that I shouldn't be suffering from ED, at least not yet. I have also put on some weight and started smoking more cigarettes. This may be part of the problem, but the biggest problem is with my head. While having sex, I am constatly thinking about my dick going soft, which it does. It is so depressing. Sex with a semi-erection is not satisfying. I can usually cum but it almost feels like a waste of time for me. My best erections are when my partner blows me while I am sleeping. My dick gets so damn hard, and stays hard because I'm am so "out of it" mentally, that my mind doesn't have a chance to mess things up.

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UPDATE: Me and this girl had an encounter in the car with our clothes on i stimulated her clit /vagina and she came!though my dick was not envolved directly ..for the time when we will have intercourse this is a much awaited ego booster....and i thought that it was impossible to get her to cum through clothes...stretchier jean pants albeit.....thanks guys i think

im on the rhoad to recovery.....will keep you poasted

 

ps she rubbed my dick through my clothing as well .. i had an erection at least!

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If misticate means masturbate, man STOP STOP. I mean STOP. Unless you are a superhuman man, that is too much masturbation to add to that an intimate relationship with a woman. I'm not saying it cant be done. I am just saying with the history you gave us, you should refrain from masturbation for one maybe two, maybe even three days before the day you plan to become intimate with your lady. By that time, you will be so horny that you will probably have to have a firetruck in the room to put out the fire burning within you. You also will have to pace yourself not to come too soon and to slow down and make sure your lady is hot with lots of foreplay. You dont want to blow your load so quickly that your lady is looking at you and wondering where her piece of the action is. Think man. You have all those wonderful hormones at 23 and you just need to harness them correctly. Think. And for now, stop that amount of masturbation given your history.

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I'm happy for you Sub! Yes, when properly kissed and stroked, caressed and touched - women can definitely come with our clothes on. Good for you...she will definitely be ready if you keep this kind of attention up. Keep doing what you're doing and she will keep right on coming!

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With over 20 years of education, I know what masticate means. On this board, drifts are lots of time implied. People speak metaphorically. I just wanted the dude to know if masturbation was his drift three times a day, he should factor that into his problem. With that, thanks for the clarification.

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