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JTT

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I saw above discussion on looking possibly too religious with your old emblem. 🙂... That wouldn't have bothered me.   I am a believer, and I believe God made me..ME.!!  ...and in doing so He also made my dick and balls and everything else about me. ... I don't believe His intent was for any part of me to be considered disgusting.  He made my sex, and He made me sexual.   He didn't give me my sex to persecute me any more than my nose is to persecute me.   We were given our dicks, and should be openly thankful for them, just as we are any other part of us.  I personally am thankful that I have one.!!..👍

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 9/24/2002 at 11:00 AM, JTT said:

So helping people feel better about themselves is our main goal.

I found this site searching on Google around my size anxiety and looking for stats around the supposed average size.  It’s funny that this main goal couldn’t be further from how I’ve been made to feel here.  There’s been a lot of comments and remarks  that come across as if I’m essentially being accused of being a moaner, whining and I need to get over myself & accept my plight.  There’s been very little encouragement or normalising of how I’m feeling.  I find it weird there are one of two guys here with 7” long cocks as some of the most frequent contributors.  It’s like rubbing salt in the wounds.
 

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1 hour ago, Appreciater said:

Sorry that you feel that way. ..  This is a sight of ACCEPTANCE for whatever dick size a person has, a place to fit in with and uphold others.   So sorry, but we are not magicians nor miracle workers.

The mission statement never said there were magicians or miracle workers here. That’s not what I was looking for.  This is supposed to be a site of acceptance, as you say, yet the mission statement is to make people feel better about themselves.  As I said above, the opposite is happening - your comment above again is dismissive. Doesn’t seem very welcoming or understanding or reassuring - it’s full of that tone of “get over yourself”, while proudly displaying your “well endowed” bulge on your profile image. Nice. 

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We ALL do accept you.!! ..  The problem is in that you don't accept yourself.    As hard as anyone tries here, no one can do that for you.  Please... Do not think everyone is down in you.  We are Not. ... Everyone has been trying different angles to make you see a better path. ..   As much as we'd like to change the world and people's attitudes, it's a centuries old battle.  What others think is the perfect dick will never match with our own thoughts.   We are who we are, nothing short of going back into our mother's womb, and trying to be remade could change that....  other than trusting a surgeon to experiment on us 

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It is about acceptance.  99.9% of the guys here are compassionate and care, but they do not enable continued complaints.
Wishing, hoping, "it's unfair" are interesting to talk about but don't deal with the issues.
We all KNOW what the problem is and yes everyone needs to share their difficulties in dealing with it, but the solutions are in moving forward and accepting things as they are.

I go to AA and we have a lot of NA guys show up.  AA and NA, support groups.  The difference, NA talks more about the problem and how bad it was, AA talks more about the way it was, WHAT HAPPENED, and the way it is now.  The NA guys come for solutions, not to sit in the problem (their words)

What happened in AAs message....change. Change the thinking.
So the same thing here, you can't change  your penis, but you can change the attitude.
YES there will be negative experiences, humans can be dicks about things.  However, a few humans opinions don't control my life.
Change is sometimes very difficult, but not impossible.
3 steps forward 2.99 back is still progress.


As you stated, you doubt the "average".  The one used here is from Urologists, and not some self measured poll (usually exagerrated?).  You doubt the truth.
So how does one support someone who 'refuses' to accept the facts.

 

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13 hours ago, Lukeow said:

I find it weird there are one of two guys here with 7” long cocks as some of the most frequent contributors.  It’s like rubbing salt in the wounds.

You are not the first to express concern about large endowed guys telling smaller guys how they ought to feel or ought to behave.  That can be infuriating.  It was complaints about this that led to the creation of the smaller-X-change private forum.  Unfortunately, Lukeow, you don't qualify for access to the private forum.

There are a significant number of men on the site who suffer from Penile Dysmorphic Disorder (PDD), also known as “small-penis syndrome.”  It is a form of body dysmorphic disorder that refers to a gross obsession and worry over one's penis size that is actually within the normal range.

PDD is a genuine disorder.  Some guys are able to overcome it just by posting with similarly situated guys who have already walked that path and have come to accept that they are genuinely average or larger.  Some have shared the story of their path to acceptance.  And some of those have included information about helpful interaction with mental health professionals.

One member, @Red Scott, has shared extensively about his journey.  In various posts he talked about some of the methods he learned from his psychologist to help him actually convince his brain that he wasn't as small as he believed himself to be.

In one of his early posts Scott said:

Quote

Whilst I do agree with your comment, being small and thinking you are small can both have the same devastating psychological effects.  It wasn't until 35 that I actually knew I wasn't below average (I don't like to say small) no matter what partners told me.  By the time I realised, I felt that through the prime of my life I missed so much through dysmorphia.

[...] and for those without a happy ending [to their story] I don't really know what I can say, but I can say I know how they FEEL!


@Lukeow I recommend the topic Optical Weiner Illusion in the main forum which addresses one of the causes of our miss-perception of our own size.  In that topic you'll also find a reply by Scott in which he talks about a model of his penis made by his sex therapist.  That's one of many topics seriously addressing PDD.


Alan G -- Measurection Administrator

PS: @Red Scott was active on the site from 2014 through 2019, when other health issues caused him to stop posting here.

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Thanks for the message there, Alan.  I do wonder if this is a condition I suffer from.  I don’t feel abnormal, but I do feel small and feel inferior, inadequate and very shy and nervous around other men - in all situations, not just when exposed (urinals, changing rooms, etc).  The first thing I think is “his cock is/will be bigger than mine”….thus I feel inferior.
 

I really do doubt the published averages because of how penis’ are presented in the media and the rhetoric used around penis’ in everyday life…. Bigger, biggest, best…..

I joined this forum in the hope I would find predominantly similar sized guys discussing similar issues of lack of confidence, self esteem and body image, etc.  I am quite surprised by the amount of discussion of a sexual objectification nature.  I would say there appears to be an imbalance of gay vs straight contributors to the forum - this is not a problem, but it seems to sway the conversation to being more about sexual desire and objectification rather than self image and penis size from a purely mental health point of view.  It’s like there are a lot of men here who enjoy looking at, playing with and discussing cocks from a sexual gratification angle.  Again, this is not a criticism of gay people, rather an observation that perhaps some of the regular contributors make things seem more sexual.

one question from me - has any study been carried out on here around the averages of members of the forum? 

Edited by Lukeow
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