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Who all actually LIKES having a small dick?


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On 1/23/2021 at 7:26 AM, NuderThanNude said:

I don't believe it is possible for every guy to love his small penis. After all we typically want what we don't have. With that being said I have to wonder how many guys with large penises wish they had a smaller penis. However, because of the stigma associated with a small penis I'm sure few of those guys would ever want to admit their small penis desire. Nevertheless, in all cases, accepting what we have is what is most important. 

As for "the lower status so much of humanity accords men with a small penis"... So what is it that really makes a man more masculine (or more of a man)? I've never seen where a man with a small penis has had a more difficult time impregnating a woman. There are lots of small penis guys out there with large families. Since a man's tongue can be a significant part of oral sex, does a longer tongue make a man more of a man? How about larger muscles? Maybe many years ago but in an age of society where physical violence is shunned upon but not now. I know of lots of women who do not like men who are body builders. 

While we are at it... what makes a woman more feminine? Is it the size of her vagina, the size of her clit, the size of her butt, or maybe the size of her breasts (which a lot of guys will admit that anything more than a mouthful (or handful) is a waste. Fortunately, it's all a matter of personal preference and varies from person to person. There is no real standard. Unfortunately some people are more vocal about their desires and in most cases it is that bigger is better and that is what gets accepted by gullible people as the standard. I personally have never liked looking at women with large breasts. Small, firm and shapely is my personal standard as being best. I used to think that I was alone in that desire but as more guys are feeling more comfortable in opening up and expressing their true desires I have become surprised at how many men actually prefer small breasts.

I'm not ashamed to admit, I wish I was smaller in a lot of cases, I've been dumped for men who were smaller. one guy who was an asian dude with 4 inches, girls don't always want what porn shows. 

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I like it.  I have come to accept it.  It is liberating for me to understand I have a small one and not to worry about and focus on what I can do a d who I am sexually.

i like having a small penis... in my butt!

I hated my small penis up until I was in my 30's and finally came to accept it. Now I love having a little dick and love showing it off. It's a great feeling when you finally stop being embarrassed an

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On 1/23/2021 at 11:42 AM, NuderThanNude said:

There is nothing in our 'instincts' (i.e. something born into us) that tell us whether a large or small penis is better. A large penis may be better in some situations but less desirable in others just as a large nose or large ears. The idea that a larger penis makes us more of a man needs to be planted in our brains (or unconscious) by others, but only if we allow it to be. Large ears may allow us to hear much better but I don't care to live my life with large ears nor do I think they are 'better'.

Our instincts tell us what is impressive and what is not, our position in social hierarchy and much else.  "Better" in various respects, probably is a concept that needs "reasoned" input from self or others as you suggest as it involves scales of value constructed by reason and culture beyond the purely instinctive.

Do you really deny instincts altogether?  The existence of instinct in humans is controversial because reason and emotion intervene to repress, deny, hide and alter.  We end up with only inklings of our instinctive response because instinct is only one part of our mind, the most primitive.  We can only be fully aware of it through careful self monitoring while abstaining from rationalization and reactions to feelings, positive and negative.

It is my impression that sex generally brings humans closer to their instincts which is one of its attractions, but also can make sex disturbing and dangerous.

If acute hearing was as important in civilized life as sex, perhaps you would want to live you life with large ears.

 

 

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1 hour ago, wayless said:

Our instincts tell us what is impressive and what is not, our position in social hierarchy and much else.

I disagree with you on this. Social conventions do not dictate or instill instincts. We are born with instincts. Before emerging from the womb our minds don't understand which type of society we will be born into and which social conventions (such as hierarchy in the group determined by the size of some bodily feature) will exist. We must learn that. An example of an instinct is a fear of creatures physically larger than we are. Especially ones that exhibit hostile characteristics. Another is crying as babies when we are hungry to get the attention of our mothers. Although crying under other situations and gaining positive results can be learned (or not) as time goes on.

1 hour ago, wayless said:

Do you really deny instincts altogether? 

Instincts and emotions are automatic but unlike instincts our emotional responses are generally learned. Our emotions can be trained to reflect our rational thought so when when we need instant reactions they are more appropriate. Most people have never learned to do that and believe rational thought and emotional responses oppose each other. Compassion for our fellow man is "rational" in that we are all in this life together, with its 'ups and downs' and need to work together and help each other where possible. Some people have the false idea that when one person gains it is always at the expense of others. Nothing can be further from the truth because when one person gains from his productive work all of mankind benefits. Stealing and wanting the unearned obviously do not fit into that category. Anyone who is 'rational' understands that 'true happiness' cannot be derived from the unearned.

Both instincts and emotions have great value to us as human beings because they provide us with information on how to respond in situations where we don't have time for rational thought. However, our emotions should coincide with our rational thought. When an emergency is over and we introspect and compare out emotional reaction with rational thought we should reach the same conclusion. If not we should make corrections to our emotional response. For example, if we learn that certain species of animals (that are larger than us) are no threat to us as humans, we can modify our emotional reaction (to being near one), to no longer be one of fear.

1 hour ago, wayless said:

If acute hearing was as important in civilized life as sex, perhaps you would want to live you life with large ears.

Believe it or not we spend much more time during our lives, with more important consequences to us, resulting from our ability to hear and smell well than with sex. Evolution changes us to be able to adapt to our environment better so if having a large penis was so important to the continuation of the human race small penis guys would have been eliminated from the race a long time ago.

Actually, I would prefer having more acute hearing and smell but still don't want larger ears or nose (nor a larger penis for that matter) For the small percentage of my life I spend have having sex, the time I would have to put up with having a large penis, just isn't worth it to me. There is a good reason the penis retracts when not needed - and the more it retracts out of the way of harm and allows for greater comfort the better. Laughingly, our society wants us to believe the opposite. I for one don't feel my sex life has been hindered in any way by having a small penis. In fact, it has given me reason to explore many other ways of enjoying sex and pleasing my partner then if all I had on my mind was plunging my large penis into a vagina. For that, and for reasons of everyday comfort, I am grateful to have a small penis! Not to mention that they just look cuter. 

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3 hours ago, NuderThanNude said:

I disagree with you on this. Social conventions do not dictate or instill instincts. We are born with instincts.

I never implied nor said that social conventions dictate or instill instincts, quite the contrary.  I said there are instincts that dictate primitive hierarchy.  Along with other physical characteristics and behavioral proclivities, genital size is one of those things that promote said hierarchy.

Of course, this resulting primitive instinctual hierarchy can be over-ridden by reason and cultural pressure, but the contrary primitive instincts remain.

Our "wolf pack" instincts remain even if we use reason to re-program behavior and emotions as best we can to over-ride and restrain such instincts.  Some people are more successful than other in this task.  Others don't even try.  Some end-up in jail.

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I actually don't oppose your self-programming as described above to deal with the attitudes of society in regard to penis size, the ubiquity of which leads me to theorize said phallicism must spring from universal instinct.

I certainly tried similar approaches.  I would only say that said instincts in self and others makes your project far more difficult than you are comfortable admitting.

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26 minutes ago, wayless said:

I said there are instincts that dictate primitive hierarchy.  Along with other physical characteristics and behavioral proclivities, genital size is one of those things that promote said hierarchy.

I cannot understand how you can say that there is such a thing as a genital size instinct that dictates primitive hierarchy. I can understand body size in general as we tend to fear creatures (humans and animals) that are bigger and stronger than us and rate our ranking accordingly. I mean, after all, who wouldn't instinctively fear the Incredible Hulk! But genital size???? I mean if you saw someone with genitals twice the size of their head I'm more likely to believe you would instinctively laugh at them.

In my very early years I never had the slightest thought about the size of my genitals. In fact as I got older I never had the idea that guys with larger genitals were superior to me. Some people had larger ears, some larger noses some - really big mouths and others larger genitals some were circumcised and others weren't. Yes, I heard guys with bigger ones putting down guys with smaller ones but I never bought into that idea that they were selling. I certainly cannot believe that if there was such a thing as a genital size hierarchy instinct that I was so unique as to be deprived from receiving it.

"wolf pack" instinct???? I cannot believe for one minute that wolves have any concept of genital size and how i pertains to their hierarchy. They generally fear larger or more vicious animals but attack smaller ones. But I certainly never heard of a wolf with the biggest dick leading the pack. Even deer, in the struggle to mate count on their physical size or antler size and not the size of their genitals.

52 minutes ago, wayless said:

I actually don't oppose your self-programming as described above to deal with the attitudes of society in regard to penis size, the ubiquity of which leads me to theorize said phallicism must spring from universal instinct.

For the life of me I cannot believe that anyone is born with the (instinctive) idea that genital size is either good or bad. It is the people looking to make themselves superior to others that generate that idea. If they don't have large genitals they find another reason. The choice is to accept what they dictate or not. Hell, while a lot of people did - I never bought into president Trumps idea that the coronavirus will be gone in days.

I am trying hard to understand why you refuse to accept any responsibility for accepting the ideas put out there by power/lust hungry idiots regarding genital size and insist you were born with that idea, and had no choice in the matter. You destiny was determined by nature before you left the womb.

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Wayless - I apologize if I come across as argumentative and unrelenting. I really do appreciate your willingness to debate this topic. Most people would run away from it. I believe that we can only learn from confrontation, by being rational and willing to correct our thinking if we are wrong. I know I have allowed a lot of incorrect, and unverified ideas enter my mind through the years and spend much of my time correcting those errors when I can as nothing can be worse that flaws in ones knowledge base.

I came to this site, not because I had any insecurity issues regarding my penis size but because I loved my small penis and in a society so obsessed with the idea that "bigger is better" I was looking for like minded people. What I found was the opposite and I was really bothered by how much other guys suffered unnecessarily. I personally never had any such issues regarding my size (in fact quite the opposite) so I know it did not have to be that way and if others could only change their thinking their lives could be so much better. I felt I could be living proof of that.

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8 hours ago, NuderThanNude said:

I cannot understand how you can say that there is such a thing as a genital size instinct that dictates primitive hierarchy. I can understand body size in general as we tend to fear creatures (humans and animals) that are bigger and stronger than us and rate our ranking accordingly. I mean, after all, who wouldn't instinctively fear the Incredible Hulk! But genital size????

My guess is that you are very strongly centered in your forebrain with little contact with your instinctive center.  In other words, you are "well defended" (psychologically) from your instincts.

I remember clearly when still pre-school being impressed visually by larger genitalia of my peers without being presented with the opinions of others.  Same thing while noting my father was similarly much smaller than his peers.

In discussing physical body size, you immediately jump to "reasoning" about the danger a larger person might present.  No, the instinct doesn't need to reason that out.  A pre-wired archetype is triggered. 

More indication that you are extremely forebrain dominant and perhaps less aware of instincts than most.  Meditation would probably be required for a greater level of awareness.  Maybe you would be more comfortable "as is" though.

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13 hours ago, NuderThanNude said:

I am trying hard to understand why you refuse to accept any responsibility for accepting the ideas put out there by power/lust hungry idiots regarding genital size and insist you were born with that idea, and had no choice in the matter. You destiny was determined by nature before you left the womb.

Ya see.  I don't "accept" the ideas put out there by power/lust hungry idiots regarding genital size. . . .

My ideas, nurtured by my reason, are similar to yours.  However, finding most of world seemingly at odds with reason and, thus, touting "bigger is better" I needed an explanation for my peace of mind, to somehow live with being "looked down upon" by nearly all people for my lack of genital size.

First, I noted that many people "wrote off" their attitude about genital size as "just a joke" and otherwise denied their actual inner feelings and behavioral reactions. 

When I was young (pre-porn) "size doesn't matter" was gospel, except everyone acted the opposite and thought small penis jokes are really funny and marginalized the small with pity or contempt.

To me, this sparked the obvious theory that there are instincts about genital size which probably evolved along with other characteristics as part of the competition of men for a woman with whom to reproduce.

I am no longer surprised and hurt when confronted by this characteristic in otherwise decent people.  I do find it a frustrating barrier to social and sexual interaction, however.

 

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On 1/29/2021 at 1:40 PM, NuderThanNude said:

Wayless - I apologize if I come across as argumentative and unrelenting. I really do appreciate your willingness to debate this topic. Most people would run away from it. I believe that we can only learn from confrontation, by being rational and willing to correct our thinking if we are wrong.

No need to apologize.  I think we were both trying to understand the essence of the small dick issue from the perspective of how to deal with it.

A lot of people say, "You just have to deal with it" with little or no explanation.

 

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On 1/29/2021 at 8:34 AM, NuderThanNude said:

Actually, I would prefer having more acute hearing and smell but still don't want larger ears or nose (nor a larger penis for that matter) For the small percentage of my life I spend have having sex, the time I would have to put up with having a large penis, just isn't worth it to me. There is a good reason the penis retracts when not needed - and the more it retracts out of the way of harm and allows for greater comfort the better. Laughingly, our society wants us to believe the opposite.

Wow!  I've meditated on this.

Above, I see reason operating as if the instinct for attracting a high status partner for reproduction DOESN'T EXIST!  

Admittedly, your rational analysis makes for a thorough going defense mechanism against the obvious universal instinct for spreading your seed to a high status individual.

I do remember trying to utilize your analysis of the retracting penis as a defense mechanism against the ridicule I often suffered.  I remember thinking it enabled by ancestors to run through the brambles and bushes avoiding injury without a loin cloth when the need arose!  A large dick would be ripped to shreds if not accidentally amputated!

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17 minutes ago, wayless said:

I see reason operating as if the instinct for attracting a high status partner for reproduction DOESN'T EXIST!

I just don’t see where nature would relate to a larger penis implying a higher status or in any way insuring the continuation of the species. Protection of the penis (as in retracting out of danger) or being less conspicuous would provide greater advantages in that regard. Small penises get women just as pregnant as large ones. A larger penis might even scare off potential female partners for fear of such a large object entering them. After all in primitive days there were no dildos to stretch with.

I really do believe any higher status being implied to a larger penis is strictly a social convention or fashion that has the potential of changing over time such as the general desire these days to see women with smooth pubes. It wasn’t long ago that big hairy bushes on women were more in demand. Guys with large penises generally are believed to think more with their penises and make sex all about their penis and their own needs and not the satisfaction of their partner. There are lots of reasons some women shy away from guys with large penises.

I do believe the need for a large penis by the remainder of women is either bragging rights or the need for larger objects due to stretching of their vaginas either through child birth or by stretching by inserting larger and larger objects. I know first hand from my days of inserting thing into my anus that at first small objects hurt but that over time I needed larger and larger objects to insert.

I suspect that women who are not as sexually active or spend lots of time masturbating (aside from the idea of bragging rights) could care less about penis size. In fact those were the types of women (who were more interested in me as a person) that I gravitated toward during dating.

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I'm putting this out to the group here...

First, do you think that having a larger penis places a male higher on the hierarchal scale or is it just another feature as is great intelligence or a great personality or good looks?

Secondly, if you think it does, do you feel it is something born into us or a social convention?

 

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15 minutes ago, NuderThanNude said:

I'm putting this out to the group here...

First, do you think that having a larger penis places a male higher on the hierarchal scale or is it just another feature as is great intelligence or a great personality or good looks?

Secondly, if you think it does, do you feel it is something born into us or a social convention?

 

My opinion is, if you are in a situation where men are seen naked, especially around women, it is very likely the larger penis men would place higher for the majority of women (assuming we are not talking the size of baby elephant trunk).  In my opinion, if women were to have some meaningful conversations and get to know who the person is before seeing a group of naked men, it likely could have a bearing as they would see the man from a personal perspective versus a physical one.

As for born into or social convention, totally social convention.  Humans are not born into most behaviors or preferences, these are things we are tough or learn as we grow.  Since society has moved to the "bigger is better" idealism, social convention will dictate the larger penis men are higher on the hierarchical scale.

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6 minutes ago, smallgrower said:

In my opinion, if women were to have some meaningful conversations and get to know who the person is before seeing a group of naked men, it likely could have a bearing as they would see the man from a personal perspective versus a physical one.

smallgrower - That is probably why I had very few 'casual' sex encounters and got to know the women before having sex with them. For me I found  (from experience) that I needed the emotional connection for the sex to be good. I guess that is the difference between 'having sex' and 'making love'.

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3 hours ago, smallgrower said:

My opinion is, if you are in a situation where men are seen naked, especially around women, it is very likely the larger penis men would place higher for the majority of women (assuming we are not talking the size of baby elephant trunk). 

Women are quite competitive among themselves and, especially in a casual sex venue, they would tend to go for the larger cock.

I was in a xxx massage parlor once where I witnessed the "massage ladies" jockey for the customer with the larger cock.  A shower was required so I was in the locker room with a half dozen guys in the showers or around the lockers when 3 masseuses came in "asking who is next?"  Some of the guys were nude and already getting semi hard.

The women and a guy with an exceptional dick enjoyed the banter and competition.  The rest of us, not so much.

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On 2/2/2021 at 12:28 PM, NuderThanNude said:

smallgrower - That is probably why I had very few 'casual' sex encounters and got to know the women before having sex with them. For me I found  (from experience) that I needed the emotional connection for the sex to be good. I guess that is the difference between 'having sex' and 'making love'.

Casual sex often left me with a bad taste in my mouth not because I didn't enjoy the woman's body and have a good orgasm, but it was clear the woman was not satisfied.

When I started always providing oral, things improved.  Only a few women rejected oral with "no, I don't like that."  Never sure why.

I was surprised by a few women who told me sex and love were totally different to them.   They said they would use dating sites or pick-up bars to find "good fucks", but had a regular boy friend or even a husband.

I thought that was a male thing, but then I realized men access good orgasms pretty easily and seek many partners for other reasons such as affirming their ability, affirming their self esteem as a stud, admiring female bodies, etc.  At least I think so.  Personally, seeking a lot of casual partners proved I wasn't all that qualified.

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2 hours ago, SloStroker said:

I think my only real issue with having a small dick that that I have been with a few women who had very big pussies. I couldn't generate enough friction to get myself off and ended up having to jerk myself off. The ladies didn't take that as a compliment. 

SloStroker - That is why I emphasize the importance of mental sexual stimulation from an emotional connection with your partner. That is the very reason I never cared for casual sex.

I was with a very beautiful and extremely sexual woman once that any guy would have envied being with.  She was kind of a pea brain and I didn't have an emotional connection with her at all and therefore very little mental sexual stimulation. Normally I have problems with premature ejaculation but in this case I penetrated her for over an hour with her having multiple orgasms and my not having a single orgasm. 

With women who stimulated me mentally (regardless of their vaginal size) I could just insert my penis into them and not move and have a mind blowing orgasm. Just knowing, in my mind, that my penis was inside a woman I had strong feelings for was enough.

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On 2/6/2021 at 11:58 AM, NuderThanNude said:

 

That is why I emphasize the importance of mental sexual stimulation from an emotional connection with your partner.

While it is nice to "make love" to someone, to me that is intimacy and not purely sexual. I prefer raw, kinky, nasty, perverted sex. The nastier the better. That seems to give me the most intense orgasm. 

I used to date a girl in college who loved big cocks. She had several boyfriends she fucked regularly and she would let me lick their cum out of her pussy while she told me what they did together. She'd sit on my face and push their cum into my mouth as I jacked my little dick like crazy. I always had the most amazing orgasms.

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5 hours ago, SloStroker said:

While it is nice to "make love" to someone, to me that is intimacy and not purely sexual. I prefer raw, kinky, nasty, perverted sex. The nastier the better.

OH Yes! I can relate to that. I guess I was referring more to the PIV normal sex. Yeah, "KINKY SEX" that is a totally different story. However, it is the mental part of it that is adding to the physical stimulation.

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13 hours ago, SloStroker said:

While it is nice to "make love" to someone, to me that is intimacy and not purely sexual. I prefer raw, kinky, nasty, perverted sex. The nastier the better. That seems to give me the most intense orgasm. 

I used to date a girl in college who loved big cocks. She had several boyfriends she fucked regularly and she would let me lick their cum out of her pussy while she told me what they did together. She'd sit on my face and push their cum into my mouth as I jacked my little dick like crazy. I always had the most amazing orgasms.

The prostitute I enlisted to end my long delayed virginity turned-out to be like that except she preferred I refrain from orgasm and focus on her.

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