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... social play . . . I dunno, you are very good at that it seems, I can only aspire to your level of social mastery.

 

Hey Guy!

 

Oooooh, but you've already learned one little secret, as flattery and compliments will absolutely get you everywhere! :waytogo: Seriously.

 

Remembering interesting details about people, and offering compliments on their skills, knowledge, and abilities, particularly if they have unusual skills, odd knowledge, and quirky abilities, will score you big points.

 

Also, in real life, it's my firm belief that like-minded people definitely attract each other. For example, the three most-recent guys to live with me all had incredibly well-developed social skills, skills which were honed, and then fine-tuned, on-the-job, but which continued on with them into their after-hours activities. I mean, RP may claim he grandly "pity-fucked" a hooker on one of his forays, but still, one of these gay guys, drawing on his own strengths, was actually providing a part-time eye-candy escort service for lesbians and/or other gay men,-- and he didn't need coaching, and single-handedly had them patiently lined-up, waiting their turn. :content:

 

Oh wait,-- two of them would keep themselves busy doing the eye-candy thing, with the first one specializing in lesbians/gays, while the other one occasionally escorted "older" women in need of companionship,-- or whatever.

 

And btw, on numerous occasions, I have first-hand knowledge of what was to be happening, as I dutifully escorted both "escorts," at their invitation, on their respective forays. This was particularly so whenever it was to be a gay-on-gay encounter, or whenever we had an excess number of eager lesbians to satisfy.

 

Rick

 

 

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i take it the wrong way and become defensive

So maybe a starting position is to recall a time when someone 'kidded' around and you became defensive. Figure out what it was that annoyed you or made you feel threatened. Do you need to be right all the time(self-esteem), do you need to not appear weak in any way (self-esteem), is what was spoken true and you are not ready to face that truth (denial)....just some ideas.

What did you become defensive about and in what way did it help you in that situation.

What do you WANT, and what is it you don't WANT. What do you need to change to get what you want, and stop doing to avoid what you don't want?

 

Whats the first rule again,,,,oh yeah only one question at a time.

 

 

BTW Rick and I didn't exactly see eye to eye originally, but we have established some communications and I have learned to accept Rick will always be a pervert (oops did I say that outloud! ! ! ).

Rick can now be offended and get defensive because.....its true and he won't admit it OR

he can think....that Adrian, always something off the wall and totally ludicrous, but thats just adrian...devils advocate, hell even satan doesn't really want him, he is afraid adrian will take over.....OR "I don't think I will ever understand where adrian is coming from but thats ok"....OR he will just ignore me.

OR he will come back with a witty retort thats all part of kidding around and not take anything I say to heart 99.9% of the time.

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I have learned to accept Rick will always be a pervert (oops did I say that outloud! ! ! ).

 

Hey Adrian!

 

I don't think I heard a thing! :rolling:

 

Still, I have a feeling I just admitted as much, on the subject of "pervert," when I acknowledged that I often escort the "escorts" on their respective missions of mercy!! :content:

 

However, there is some method to our collective madness, and my primary job, usually, is to calmly and casually oversee that the eye-candy remain just that,-- cute, hot, eager eye-candy. I know we kind of play a game at it,-- but still, that was the original offer, and none of us are particularly keen for the rules to be suddenly changed in the middle of the game.

 

And btw, I KNEW you'd have the requisite pocketful of questions for Raisd. Thanks.

 

Rick

 

 

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i have a question,

a little off topic, but its about penis size

i measure from the top for my results

i take a look at the measurement up close and its like "ok thats not too short"

im 5.5 to 6 inch range

but when i look downwards at my penis when its erect it looks like it could be like 4.5

i hate having to look at it from above.

anyone know why its like that?

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i have a question,

a little off topic, but its about penis size

i measure from the top for my results

i take a look at the measurement up close and its like "ok thats not too short"

im 5.5 to 6 inch range

but when i look downwards at my penis when its erect it looks like it could be like 4.5

i hate having to look at it from above.

anyone know why its like that?

 

It's a matter of perspective. Get yourself a full-length mirror and you get a better idea how you look to other people.

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It could also be the angle of your penis and erection. Not everyone points straight out. If you have a slight angle upward or downward, looking down from overhead will make it look shorter.

 

So when you look in the mirror look both from the front and from the side to give you a better idea.

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ive got 5.5 to 6inches erect

25 years old and never had sex before , jesus christ i hate being alive

i dont care if im not well hung i just want to experience intercorse once

 

So the intercouse we are enjoying now isn't good for you too? Well I'm puzzled. I thought we were all quite good at it. "C'est la vie!" (just for Rick)

 

Lighten up on yourself a bit and enjoy life. If you just want sex it can be had one way or another easily enough, especially if you don't mind paying for it. The sex of the partner you are seeking was not mentioned but there are plenty out there who just want uncomplicated sex. If you want more, learn to like yourself a bit more and see where it leads.

 

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hey guys

thanks for the support, social interaction to me , or the way i view it from my vantage point is having to be extremely fake. i am who i really am right now typing telling you this.

but its so hard to put on an act. i can act on stage easily, but in life, i really cant, they just don't buy it. i see people my age joking and even harassing each other, and growing up it was behavior i could never understand. all of the friends i had were close ones, that were usually socially inept like me. but because of that there was a certain honesty between us that most normal best "buds" never have because they wont take that barrier down. im a very emotionally sensitive heterosexual. ive never understood why some guys can be so single minded and macho at the expense of others.

now im not saying i cant fall into that boat from time to time. but my problem is i become hyper masculine sometimes. and it takes away from how others see me because i cant sit easily in my own skin and not take myself to seriously.

*sighs* and girls look at me like im the plague because of it.

there have been those who have been attracted to me, but in my compulsions i turn them off pretty quick obviously.

does anyone have any advice on how i can feel better about being just me and relaxing so i don't come off as a loose cannon?

 

Hi Raisd! Wanted to respond to this because it reminds me so much of myself. I too am pretty socially inept and kind of tightly wound, find it difficult to relax around people and as a result people are turned off and distance themselves.

 

Won't say I have solved this problem yet! But a few things that have helped me are:

 

1) Alcahol. Sorry but it has worked and does work. Breaks down social barriers, allows you to chill out a bit and not be so uptight, you can connect with people more, they get to know the 'real you' and you the 'real them' in an accelerated way that puts them at ease because you are not hiding behind a rigid wall of paranoia and defensiveness (at least I do that!)

 

2) Basically not CARING so much. This sounds weird but it really worked for me. One of my main problems was/is that I was intensely worried all the time about acceptance, what people thought of me, saying the right thing, etc. Being kind of arrogant I guess I always thought nobody knew that, I was just saying the wrong things. Until one day I DIDN'T care and thought fuck it, I am an asshole and don't care who knows it, and was just honest and open. Turns out all that time people can sense your tenseness and uptightness and worriedness, and how defensive and not honest you're being with them, and they react badly to it. When you drop it and just don't care about being honest with them, they respond amazingly positively. Okay did not explain that very well, but I would say: emotional honesty with people, completely. Be completely honest about yourself and your feelings, no matter what they are, and people will respond well to it.

 

My two cents...

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... a few things that have helped me are:

 

1) Alcohol. Sorry but it has worked and does work. Breaks down social barriers, allows you to chill out a bit and not be so uptight, you can connect with people more, they get to know the 'real you' and you the 'real them' in an accelerated way that puts them at ease because you are not hiding behind a rigid wall of paranoia and defensiveness (at least I do that!) ...

Alcohol in moderation can indeed serve as a social lubricant and help you to be yourself. Too much alcohol will make you behave like a drunken idiot. So unless the real you is a drunken idiot, one or two mixed drinks or two or three beers should be quite adequate. Any more is likely to be counter-productive.

 

If you're under the legal drinking age in your locale, as some of our members are, the proper amount of alcohol is NONE.

 

 

Alan G

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