That Miserable Feeling is Back Again

[oppimp]

So I very rarely post here, though I'm in the chat room a fair amount. For a long time I've been pretty much over my size issues. Sure they would come up for a second here and there and get me down, but I've been in a relationship for 2.5 yrs now and have learned to be ok with what I've got b/c my boyfriend is. But something happened tonight that has brought it back again, and oh so strongly.

 

My boyfriend and I were at a wedding two weekends ago, and there was another gay guy at our table that clearly was interested in me. I wasn't and the night went just fine. The next morning my bf says that he wishes we brought the guy home with us (interesting b/c I've always been all about a threesome and he's been very hesitant). So anyways, later that day, my bf friends him on facebook (showing my age I know). This other guy then friends me immediately and starts chatting with me. It comes and goes very innocently, I'm still not really interested in the guy at this point. Anyways, a week later, he invites us to his birthday party, and I send him a message giving him my phone number.

 

He texted me not long after and after chatting for awhile, I admitted I was developing a minor crush. He then admitted to having a major crush on me, but he didn't think it appropriate because I have a boyfriend. Well over the past few days, my minor crush has turned into me totally falling for this guy, while my feelings for my boyfriend have not diminished at all. My interest in this guy though, while certainly somewhat sexual, are more emotional than anything else. Add to this the fact that he has told me he's been screwed over by guys many times just looking for sex, and I want to be very clear that most important to me is being a friend he can count on.

 

Well to the part of the story that in any way relates to this site. Tonight we were chatting and he asked me if i was big. I said no, and then he asked what size. I hesitated but told him. He didn't have too much of a reaction. After a bit of me expressing how I've had hangups about this in the past, I asked him his size. 7.5. Of course he can't just be a bit above average, he has to be huge. He then says he ONCE was with a guy my size. So yeah, of all the guys hes been with, ONE has been around my size. He did say the obligatory he knew what he was doing so as long as you do it doesn't matter. He also asked for a picture. He then told me that if it was bothering me that much there were things that I could do about it (aka enlargement devices or surgery). I told him that that didn't make me feel very good, and he said that he didn't think I needed it, but that if I was unhappy about it maybe I could do something. I then expressed that I didn't want him to no longer be interested in me, and he said quite fairly "would I want a picture if I wasn't interested".

 

I am overreacting I know. And frankly, this is a minor issue as a part of the larger one, which is that I have genuine feelings for this guy, but have no desire to end things with my boyfriend. I guess I have no questions, just needed to get things off my chest, and I hope it makes sense.

 

 

[mntbikeguyYVR]

 

I have gone through this issue several times in my life.

 

Eventually what I found is that how guys reacted to me was how I confident I presented myself without saying things that would sound silly. And I also am patient if guys have questions and especially patient if someone says something funny without realizing it.

 

What works really well for me when I asked is this answer:

 

"I am 4.5" in length, but I am surprised you asked because I thought you already knew how I am hung.

 

_________

 

One of the reasons I am so open about my size, including not hiding behind a towel at the gym, and going nude at Wreck Beach is that when I met guys in those environments there are no strings attached and no expectations.

 

While I have sex with several of my friends, including having sex with my best friend for over 11 years, penis size is not a critical success factor in building new friendships. I just hope they are happy playing scrabble and UNO with me lol

 

 

[canuck45]

Scrabble and UNO....I didn't think anyone played UNO anymore. Just tell me you DON'T play Euchre...

[zz]

just a couple of observations: 1 - your stats look perfectly average. I'd love to be average in size. Don't let someone with a couple of inches on you make you feel less of a man or less desirable. 2 - more importantly, I have realized that my size issues have kept me out of hot water many times in my life. Maybe you should look at this as a good thing. Your size issues are keeping you from ruining your relationship with your bf.

[Guest]

just a couple of observations: 1 - your stats look perfectly average. I'd love to be average in size. Don't let someone with a couple of inches on you make you feel less of a man or less desirable. 2 - more importantly, I have realized that my size issues have kept me out of hot water many times in my life. Maybe you should look at this as a good thing. Your size issues are keeping you from ruining your relationship with your bf.

 

Yeah, better than average!

 

[oppimp]

Hey guys, I'm glad you think I'm average. Maybe I am, and usually I think I am. But given my experience I am not and I definitely feel smaller now than I have in recent memory. bcolt45- perhaps you are right about stopping me from ruining my relationship

[Guest]

Hey guys, I'm glad you think I'm average. Maybe I am, and usually I think I am. But given my experience I am not and I definitely feel smaller now than I have in recent memory. bcolt45- perhaps you are right about stopping me from ruining my relationship

 

Yeah, do ya wanna be a sex athlete or continue your relationship?

 

Re average: There is average for the male population and there is average for a particular sub-culture. The average for the extremely active sex athletes may very well be larger.

 

[AO]

to tell you the truth people have no idea how many inches is this or that. many people say they are 7 inches.. 5 inches... and reality is that most people are much smaller than what they say.