Suicidal thoughts daily

[Steve W]

Speaking from my own experience here:

 

Have you ever considered that your problem might be that you are too judgmental? I myself am body-dysmorphic and often feel negative about my body and particular the size of my willie. One thing I have learned from therapists and a psychiatrist is that body dysmorphia is potentially a result of an overly judgmental stance towards oneself and others. One thing the cognitive behavioural therapists will counsel you to do in that situation is to try out some mindfulness meditation, and focus particularly on "metta", kindness and charity towards yourself, your friends, your enemies and the wider world.

It sounds pretty naff but it can be a powerful experience. You begin by thinking of yourself and saying

 

May I be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I be safe and protected.

May I be free of mental suffering or distress.

May I be happy.

May I be free of physical pain and suffering.

May I be healthy and strong.

May I be able to live in this world happily, peacefully, joyfully, with ease.

 

You then think of a friend, someone you care a lot about, and say the same thing of them.

 

Then, you try to think of someone you have a problem with and try to say the same thing of them.

 

This exercise is emotionally really powerful. I have found it to really show me how negative and harmful I often am to myself when I focus on to trying to think only positive, kind thoughts towards myself.

 

It's an eye-opener.

[Guest]

I have 45" chest and a 30" waist.

 

Wow!

 

[AggieFTW]

Retrogamer,

 

Let's see the pics of your behemoths and you. I'm curious. I can say all day long that I've known short, broke, ugly guys who got average women, but they're not you. Same with the successful short guys I've known.

[Rick]

Hey Dude!

 

So far, you claim you're diminutively short in stature, are physically quite unattractive, have just a 4" erect penis, and find yourself arrogantly and quite dismissively shooting down the 300-pounders with several kids who are way "beneath" you, but who, nevertheless, you are reluctantly "forced" to pity-fuck. :rolling:

 

But hey,-- in your whiny litany of supposed woes, you actually forgot an important one:

 

Considering I have no money, . . .

 

So, considering you have no money, does this also mean that you have no job,-- nor any sort of career?

 

And yet, in your self-possessed arrogance, and despite the fact you have no money, you still sneeringly put down others who made suggestions about education, jobs, and careers?? But perhaps the obviousness of this selfsame lack of money in real life could well have proven to be the actual reason behind why all those massive 300-pounders eventually dumped you,-- perhaps right after they quite reluctantly pity-fucked you.

 

So, what do you have??? Food stamps and a grotty trailer on the outskirts of the bad part of town??? And you still expect Wonder Woman to miraculously appear??? :rolling:

 

Rick

 

PS Perhaps you could re-locate yourself to the Kingdom of Tonga in the South Pacific where the men wear grass skirts and 300-pound females are considered svelte.

 

According to Wikipedia:

 

Ninety percent of the population (of Tonga) are considered overweight using NIH interpretation of body mass index (BMI) data, with more than 60% of those obese. (About) 70% of Tongan women aged 15"“85 are obese. Tonga and nearby Nauru have the world's highest overweight and obese populations.

 

 

[cabbage]

Proves that most women want at least a taller man, and the 5'3" guy she married was lucky to find a woman 5'2" who only wanted a man taller than herself. Plus he was a lawyer so she now has money. Would she have married him if he was 5'3" and not an attorney? Will she divorce him in five years and date a 6'2" retail clerk, so she can get the best of both worlds? Money and stability early on, and a real man in later years?

 

That's a fairly personal thing to say about someone else's family.

Edited April 7, 2014 by Guest
Something happened with the quote thing.

[canuck45]

Rod. Examples that disprove are rejected. Nothing will convince those thatrefuse to deal with their concerns instead of blaming others, that anything but their truth is the only truth.

[canuck45]

Geez, is there anything you can't turn around and make it a story of misery and wow is me. Maybe people don't date you and you have a miserable life because in reality you're a boring, miserable, whiny, negative 5' prick.

[Roemer]

 

trouble melts like lemon drops high above the chim-en-ee tops

[Rick]

. . . trouble melts like lemon drops high above the chim-en-ee tops . . .

 

Hey Roemer!

 

:omgsmilie: That's so absolutely a brilliant find!!! :waytogo: Great voice,-- perfect lyric!! :content: I'm still flipping out over it!

 

OK, so Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo'ole is from Hawai'i, but with that amazing bulk, could easily pass as Tongan.

 

Rick

 

Special private note: Jumping off a high-level bridge is at least as dramatic as your unedited suggestion, but is far less messy at the bitter end,-- as it might even include a big showy splash.

 

And on a technical note: The system is programmed to insert a split after 25 characters. Your word-choice, "professionally administered," with the hyphen between the two words, adds up to 27. Thus, the "ed" was automatically separated from the second word.

 

 

 

 

[Bredero]

I might get a warning from Allan for saying this...but honestly I am tired of this guy.

 

We all gave him so much positive advice and he is so intelligent that he keeps finding reasons or excuses why he is "right" for his pessimism.

 

I say, if he wants to go kill himself, leave him alone...because honestly, none of us here can stop him.

 

In all my years on measurection, he is the only person I totally give up on.

[takeiteasy]

I'm 6' tall I'm not too bad looking and my penis is close to 5 1/2 and yet when I read your posts OP I feel like they were written by me. Although our dimensions may be different our brains seem to be in the same place. I did go through counseling a couple of times in my life but my feelings about it are the same as yours. The last time they wanted me to take pills to make me feel better. I thought it would be like giving Band Aids to a cancer patient. It might make me "feel" better but it won't solve the problem.

 

Some of us are born with brains that make it difficult to deal with the challenges that life presents. That doesn't mean the challenges you face aren't real they are but other guys who are in your position have brains that function in a very different way and it allows them to overcome these challenges a lot easier.

 

A good example is the feeling of shame and lack of it. I'm sure a good deal of guys would be very reluctant to be naked in front of a group of people. We feel ashamed of what people would think even if they didn't actually say anything or react in any way. Others wouldn't care what other people think. It's as if they have no sense of shame. If only we all had brains that work that way.

 

I'm not sure what to tell you. I sympathize with you. Dealing with a smaller penis and being short in stature must be rough. Sure there are women who would be open to being with a guy in your position but just being in that position can take a toll on ones self esteem. At least you seem to have been with some women that's more than I ever did. Kudos for that.

[Roemer]

haha omg, thank you for clarifying that, I had no idea why the letters were separated and I wasn't expecting anyone to explain it to me! :content:

 

I recently discovered Iz, and so far I love his music and his voice. I love his rendition of Over The Rainbow, which is pretty unusual for my tastes, haha. His music is so chill, I'm listening to his album "Facing Future" right now, I'm diggin' it

Edited April 8, 2014 by Guest
removed typo

[Rick]

I love his rendition of "Over The Rainbow," which is pretty unusual for my tastes, haha. His music is so chill, . . .

 

Hey Roemer!

 

Indeed! :smirk:

 

However, on top of, and in addition to everything else, you do realize, of course, that "Over the Rainbow" has become the so-called Gay National Anthem and that, in general, the Polynesian culture (of Hawai'i, Tonga, and the rest of the South Pacific islands) is quite open, and rather laid-back and chill, to just about anything of whatever flavor one cares to present. As a result, my brains flipped into quadruple overload, given the resulting multiplicity of double-entendres and triple-entendres, both verbally and visually.

 

Plus, "IZ" has an excellently superb voice.

 

Rick

 

 

 

 

 

[RodEnuf]

The most talented electronics technician I have ever known is 4'11" tall and the most amazing PhD computer scientist I have known is 5'0".

They sound like MRAs who realized they better follow their own interests and hobbies instead of trying to date.

They're both married. The PHD computer scientist is in Massachusetts, is married and has one daughter. I've never seen his wife. The electronics technician has no college degree, learned his trade as an enlisted man in the U.S. Navy, is married and has several children (at least 4 and all adults). His wife is two or three inches taller than he is. He has recently retired from the position of Senior Electronics Technician after 30 years with a large metropolitan newspaper. BTW, he and his wife are avid shag dancers.

 

 

Alan G

 

 

[StatusQuo]

retrogamer,

 

There have been several guys that have been on here that were incredibly depressed until they found a woman (or man) that they loved. Depression is a real sickness. You will find things wrong with yourself to verify your depression. I've dealt with it myself so I know.

 

You have no idea how much people care about you. I lost a friend to suicide and I cant even put into words how it felt. Losing someone to age or a car accident is painful but there is no deliberate action. Losing someone to suicide is so different because it legitimately did not have to happen.

 

Just reaching out and talking to people like you're doing here is important. But I wouldn't underestimate the power of getting help. Another friend was in the army and battled suicidal thoughts. His depression caused him countless problems since he got back. Finally he went to see a professional, and he is like night and day.

 

They wont tell you how you should feel, they will help you understand why you feel a certain way. I am sure you are a great guy, and the world would be a worse place without you here.

[StatusQuo]

A few weeks ago I came across some forum dedicated to men of below average height. It was really sad' date=' apparently (lack of) height is something a lot of men struggle with. There were so many guys there convinced they'd never amount to anything or would never be able to date because they were less than 6 feet tall. They were sharing all their rejection and humiliation stories, tons of statistics, guys combing the media to find instances of successful short men, of short men dating taller women and of short men being made fun of in the media. "Bigger is better"? That's about ridiculing short men.

 

I was really shocked to learn how big of a deal this was to them and how much they appeared to be struggling with it. I'm not talking about little people, but guys that were between 5'6" and 5'10". Shorter ones too, as you can imagine, but the 5'7"+ guys really surprised me. It interested me because I was able to draw so many parallels between my own insecurities and their's. Man, there's even the constant measuring of their height.

 

At only 5'9" -according to them- I'm well within the "might-as-well-kill-yourself range, yet I could not identify with any of their embarrassments and struggles. They had a lot of visitors trying to offer words of encouragement, telling them thing's aren't nearly as bad as they make it out to be, but from what I gathered, the positive people never stayed very long because they would get attacked verbally and would be bombarded with statistics and anecdotes.

 

It really made me wonder if some of us (I) look as insane to the "size doesn't matter" folk.

 

[/quote']

 

5'9" is close enough to the 5'9"/5'10" average and is a lot different than 5'5" or 5'6". At that point it starts to get really bad. And you can forget about online dating. No matter what I write, what pictures I take, or what I say, I get about zero interest. The only interest I would ever get is women 300+ lbs, 2 or 3 kids, and way beneath me. And I dated them, so it's not like I'm even denying them an opportunity. I'm just tired of it.

 

And when people say 'there's someone out there for everyone' that is so much BS. Look at it this way. You've got one 6 foot tall guy who dates 4 or 5 girls in a three year span. The first four start well, but don't last forever. Then he meets number 5, and they really click, get married, or date long term. Great. But a 5'5" guy has no dates within those 3 years, meets one girl, and he's so desperate and unable to meet women on a regular basis that she becomes 'the one' for him, no matter if they're a good match or not, because he knows his dating value and if he doesn't stay with her he could be single for years. At least the average/tall/somewhat handsome guy got to experience more... more women, more life, before 'settling down'.

 

My options are so limited even before I try. I'd rather not be alive than live in this situation. A huge part of adult life is relationships, dating, and sex. To be less than average in every key attribute basically stops your adult life from ever truly starting. Number one it's extremely difficult to meet the people you want to meet, much less date them, and then if you get them in bed, you've got 4 inches. And I can't buy pants. They don't even make clothes to fit me. I literally can't buy pants/jeans in any store, and shirts run too long, making me look even worse.

 

It's a pathetic existence.

 

I replied with a general post above. One of my friends is your height. He is not a supermodel or anything, in fact hes going bald. He has slept with by far more women than anyone I know. I have a feeling if you break out of this slump you'd be surprised. Its more about confidence than anything (his advice), and its hard to be confident when you're battling depression. As I said in the last post I have personal experience with depression. it is a bitch man, it sucks.

 

Online dating takes a specific formula. I have tried it (I'm 6'1") and have only ever talked to women on the phone, and then, only twice. Its never went further than that. If you dont "get" the formula its tough to be successful, and unfortunately I dont. One of my shorter friends, who has had luck with it is trying to teach me, but so far no luck.

 

I honestly wish you the best of luck man. I think you'd be surprised the difference in your life if you got help and were able to get out of this slump.

[retrogamer]

Hah. I wouldn't make something like that up. Well played, I went through my history for you.

 

http://www.reddit.com/r/short/

 

It was pretty disheartening when I found it, wouldn't recommend. Would probably do you more harm than good, unless you can realise it's a very biased sample of men. The happy successful one's didnt seem to stick around or were chased off.

 

I hope you stay around here for a bit.

Thanks for the link. I've been on that reddit before, I'm familiar with it. I think I've read everything there is to read online about the problems I've talked about here. There's really nothing that can be done. I've tried making and accomplishing goals, being confident, dressing well, etc, but overall I'd have to say I'm pretty much screwed no matter what I do. Like I said at the beginning of this thread... I'd rather be dead.

 

Check this out on Psychology Today:

 

Why Women Aren't Attracted to Short Men

 

Anyway, thanks for the responses and trying to help.

 

 

[retrogamer]

I'm 6' tall I'm not too bad looking and my penis is close to 5 1/2 and yet when I read your posts OP I feel like they were written by me. Although our dimensions may be different our brains seem to be in the same place. I did go through counseling a couple of times in my life but my feelings about it are the same as yours. The last time they wanted me to take pills to make me feel better. I thought it would be like giving Band Aids to a cancer patient. It might make me "feel" better but it won't solve the problem.

 

Some of us are born with brains that make it difficult to deal with the challenges that life presents. That doesn't mean the challenges you face aren't real they are but other guys who are in your position have brains that function in a very different way and it allows them to overcome these challenges a lot easier.

 

A good example is the feeling of shame and lack of it. I'm sure a good deal of guys would be very reluctant to be naked in front of a group of people. We feel ashamed of what people would think even if they didn't actually say anything or react in any way. Others wouldn't care what other people think. It's as if they have no sense of shame. If only we all had brains that work that way.

 

I'm not sure what to tell you. I sympathize with you. Dealing with a smaller penis and being short in stature must be rough. Sure there are women who would be open to being with a guy in your position but just being in that position can take a toll on ones self esteem. At least you seem to have been with some women that's more than I ever did. Kudos for that.

 

Well, at least I'm not the only who has experienced these things and feels this way. It's definitely not a mental issue. It's a real life issue that's based both on people's perception of you and your perception of you. And if you're self aware enough to realize and think about it, you're screwed. Most people are lucky enough to have something in their favor. They may be short, but handsome. Ugly, but have huge penis. Or a great family, friends, or meet the right person early enough so they don't have to try to survive out there in the real world. It bothers me greatly that I have none of the above. Thanks for your response.

 

Edited April 8, 2014 by Guest

[retrogamer]

If I ever got rich, I would treat everyone like garbage. The oppressed becomes the oppressor. If getting rich would allow me to date attractive women, I don't think I'd treat them well either because I'd always know they hated me when I was a normal person. I don't think I could ever again have sympathy for those who have rebuked me. Yes, this is how I see things now after many years of a tortured existence. Just being honest for better or for worse.

[retrogamer]

My opinions don't necessarily reflect the opinions of this site or the site's mission.

 

I'm all for free will, man.

 

If you are genuinely intent on ending your life,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

XXXXXXXXXXXXX, in the states that have legalized physician-assisted death in the US (Washington, Oregon, Montana, Vermont), terminal illness is a necessary prerequisite for this option. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't know what to tell you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I guess you're forced to either live with what you have or xxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Life is shitty and sometimes there's nothing we can do about it. If you opt for the suicide route, I hope you choose not to harm anyone.

 

Best of luck, I hope it all turns out well for you.

 

I will consider it. I may in fact wait for my mother to pass away before doing that. But every day until then is a nightmare. Thanks for your response.

[retrogamer]

I wanted to say thanks for all the responses, even the ones that disagree with me 100%.

[retrogamer]

Speaking from my own experience here:

 

Have you ever considered that your problem might be that you are too judgmental? I myself am body-dysmorphic and often feel negative about my body and particular the size of my willie. One thing I have learned from therapists and a psychiatrist is that body dysmorphia is potentially a result of an overly judgmental stance towards oneself and others. One thing the cognitive behavioural therapists will counsel you to do in that situation is to try out some mindfulness meditation, and focus particularly on "metta", kindness and charity towards yourself, your friends, your enemies and the wider world.

It sounds pretty naff but it can be a powerful experience. You begin by thinking of yourself and saying

 

May I be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I be safe and protected.

May I be free of mental suffering or distress.

May I be happy.

May I be free of physical pain and suffering.

May I be healthy and strong.

May I be able to live in this world happily, peacefully, joyfully, with ease.

 

You then think of a friend, someone you care a lot about, and say the same thing of them.

 

Then, you try to think of someone you have a problem with and try to say the same thing of them.

 

This exercise is emotionally really powerful. I have found it to really show me how negative and harmful I often am to myself when I focus on to trying to think only positive, kind thoughts towards myself.

 

It's an eye-opener.

 

How am I too judgemental? I'm 4 full inches below average male height and probably 2 inches below average penis size. Those two things are contributing factors to my bad experiences in life. Meditation could never change those facts. It would be a form of self delusion. I did that years ago... pretend things were great, be positive, be nice to people, approach women confidently. It didn't matter. Now I see the truth. Some people, for whatever reason, can adapt to being undesirable, ugly, unattractive. I can't. Well, I did. I followed my own goals, did my own thing, tried to improve while maintaining my own interests. None of that stuff ever compensated enough for my true shortcomings. I realize that now.

[retrogamer]

Hey Dude!

 

So far, you claim you're diminutively short in stature, are physically quite unattractive, have just a 4" erect penis, and find yourself arrogantly and quite dismissively shooting down the 300-pounders with several kids who are way "beneath" you, but who, nevertheless, you are reluctantly "forced" to pity-fuck. :rolling:

 

But hey,-- in your whiny litany of supposed woes, you actually forgot an important one:

 

Considering I have no money, . . .

 

So, considering you have no money, does this also mean that you have no job,-- nor any sort of career?

 

And yet, in your self-possessed arrogance, and despite the fact you have no money, you still sneeringly put down others who made suggestions about education, jobs, and careers?? But perhaps the obviousness of this selfsame lack of money in real life could well have proven to be the actual reason behind why all those massive 300-pounders eventually dumped you,-- perhaps right after they quite reluctantly pity-fucked you.

 

So, what do you have??? Food stamps and a grotty trailer on the outskirts of the bad part of town??? And you still expect Wonder Woman to miraculously appear??? :rolling:

 

Rick

 

PS Perhaps you could re-locate yourself to the Kingdom of Tonga in the South Pacific where the men wear grass skirts and 300-pound females are considered svelte.

 

According to Wikipedia:

 

Ninety percent of the population (of Tonga) are considered overweight using NIH interpretation of body mass index (BMI) data, with more than 60% of those obese. (About) 70% of Tongan women aged 15"“85 are obese. Tonga and nearby Nauru have the world's highest overweight and obese populations.

 

 

I have a Bachelor's Degree and worked in the corporate world for many years and had money (an average salary). It didn't make a difference. It is only recently that I've been jobless and haven't had as much money. When I was 'successful', I could get 300 lb women, or single mothers to date me. But no one else. And I did date them. My mother even commented one time that I must 'like that shape' and she called one of my girlfriends 'a fat fuck'. She must not have realized that I had to work hard to get that kind of woman... thousands of dollars of college loan debt, worked 2 jobs, 70 hours a week, lived on my own and went to school full-time. I worked damn hard to even get an average salary or attract women that were twos! Even at my 'best', I was still relegated to the bottom of society.

 

Good enough answer for you?

Thanks for your response.

Edited April 8, 2014 by Guest

[retrogamer]

I might get a warning from Allan for saying this...but honestly I am tired of this guy.

 

We all gave him so much positive advice and he is so intelligent that he keeps finding reasons or excuses why he is "right" for his pessimism.

 

I say, if he wants to go kill himself, leave him alone...because honestly, none of us here can stop him.

 

In all my years on measurection, he is the only person I totally give up on.

 

Good. I'll just accept your mainstream advice and go pretend to be happy. You are a genius.

[Not really my name]

Hey again retrogamer,

 

The more you tell about yourself, the more I become convinced I've read your story before. I don't exactly recall where, but I'm pretty sure I did. I'm 99.9% sure you are the person I'm thinking of.

 

You went into more detail when I read your story elsewhere. The type of women you described you were dating... I don't think any grounded, rational, emotionally stable, man with a modicum of self-respect would even consider the type of women you dated. I'm not talking about their appearance, but those other flaws you mentioned they had. I think your problems stem from having very low self-esteem, not surprising considering what you had shared about yourself at the other place.

 

I really hope you will try to follow StatusQuo's advice, about seeking help.

 

Good luck.