j4s3 Posted September 15, 2017 Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 Anybody have any strong experience going to counselling for their concerns/struggles about their size ? Or even to get help dealing with unwanted SPH fetish? I've broached the topic a few times with my counselor, But I'm pretty desperate to get away from the pull of SPH and am looking at other counseling methods (right now it's just been CBT)... Anybody else have experience or insight? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostBoy1 Posted September 15, 2017 Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 I've been researching it lately. I would just like to find a local support group but there doesn't seem to be many for SPS. The closest that I have found is Body Dysmophia Support groups. It would be great to sit in a room with a bunch of small penis guys to talk about our struggles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Scott Posted September 15, 2017 Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 You would probably find "sexual therapy" much more useful than counseling. Sexual therapist's focus on the line of psychology and education on a sexual basis and are far more experienced in correcting issues of this nature. Don't mix sex therapy up with sex surrogacy, at no point will you be asked to do anything of a sexual nature! Though you MAY be required to be examined, measured, photographed and be seen naked at some point, this it seems is entirely dependent on the therapist and nature of the issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4s3 Posted September 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 Really? Examining,measuring and photographing? I've never heard of this. Can you explain the purpose / have you had any experience with this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Scott Posted September 15, 2017 Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 The purpose was, I had (body) penile dysmorphia, and in order to demonstrate to me that my brain was responsible for seeing what wasn't an accurate view some things had to be done. Everything was at a comfortable pace, only when I was as ready as I'd ever be and absolutely everything had a purpose. My measurements needed to be compared against medical standards of "normal" penis size, flaccid and erect and my measurements put on the size chart showing where I was in terms of the percentile curve. Photographs taken with something for scale demonstrated, because photos with scale don't lie so the brain can't change perspective in what the eyes see. A couple of sessions were done naked with a very small group of other guys with the same issue to get over the issue of being seen naked by others. There were other practical exercises too which caused me very short lived anxiety and embarrassment but all for a specific reason. At no time was the therapist naked! I did say the word "MAY" when I was explaining and sexual therapist's have differing methods depending on the country they practice in, organization they work for or if they are private/self employed. My therapist was the latter and I was warned she had "unorthodox but highly effective methods" which is why she was only available privately and not through NHS referral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4s3 Posted September 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 Wow! Interesting. You would recommend that experience, though? I see from your profile that you're actually in the range of average... was the purpose of that counselling to help you see that you were actually average? Were the other guys in the nude session average as well? Would it have been different for guys who are actually below avg? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Scott Posted September 16, 2017 Report Share Posted September 16, 2017 Wow! Interesting. You would recommend that experience, though? I see from your profile that you're actually in the range of average... was the purpose of that counselling to help you see that you were actually average? Were the other guys in the nude session average as well? Would it have been different for guys who are actually below avg? I'd recommend it for anyone suffering penile (body) dysmorphia, this where the man sees his penis as smaller than it actually is. If you'd have told me before therapy that my erect penis was at the high end of average I'd have told you that you're being ridiculous. I honestly thought that I was smaller than about 95% of guys! So indeed the purpose of the therapy was to educate me on b.a.p.s and re-wire my brain so to speak into seeing my penis as it actually is and not what I'd conditioned it to see over time! The other guys in the room all sat somewhere in the average range because we all had the same issues and diagnosis of dysmorphia. At first sight I saw mine as the smallest of them. This demonstrated that judging others head on whilst looking down at my own creates an optical illusion, a shortening effect. It turned out that just one was larger by 1/8" which side by side wasn't obvious without a ruler. I think it would've been different for a guy who wasn't suffering from dysmorphia regardless of his size. If you have a physical size issue I'd imagine that the course of therapy would be a different one, but that's me just guessing, I'm not a therapist so I can't say how the treatment would be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4inchpianist Posted September 21, 2017 Report Share Posted September 21, 2017 Counseling? Therapy? Why pay someone thousands to listen to them? Nope. Just nope! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4s3 Posted September 22, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 You clearly know very little about the topic of therapy. (And, I'll remind you, I wasn't asking for people's opinions on the merits of counseling itself - I was asking if anybody had gone that route for penis size issues and found it helpful.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigforsmall Posted September 22, 2017 Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 I agree.12 step fellowships SLAA,SA etc- based on general sex obsession and neurosis. I have considered seeing someone about e.d.,which I believe can be size related (in my case too big). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigforsmall Posted September 22, 2017 Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 SHE?. It does sound like the therapy had a mild erotic element in truth red, hence its "unorthodoxy". Naked men and a clothed woman is actually a fetish,and her measuring, using charts etc is almost like mild kink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RodEnuf Posted September 23, 2017 Report Share Posted September 23, 2017 Naked men and a clothed woman is actually a fetish, ... According to Dictionary.com: fetish - an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression. So while such behavior could be a fetish for some, the writer has absolutely no basis for declaring that it's a fetish for Scott. Alan G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigforsmall Posted September 23, 2017 Report Share Posted September 23, 2017 (edited) OK rod,you're right,I should have said paraphernalia technically. Also that it could be regarded as one in some circumstances, not that it necessarily is.It is a recognised practice though,with parties! But to be fair,if we're being pedantic I didn't actually say it was thus for Scott. Part of what constituted the therapy as described would tend to make the reader question the motives of SOME of men attending, as there is the suggestion of an homoerotic,as well as heteroerotic,element, Edited September 23, 2017 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Scott Posted September 23, 2017 Report Share Posted September 23, 2017 Quote Counseling? Therapy? Why pay someone thousands to listen to them? Nope. Just nope! Well I didn't pay thousands, I paid £36 per hour session, one session per month that lasted well over a year. Granted that was more than 10 years ago so probably £60 in today's money. But it worked and it's not all about talking and listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinkie B. Posted October 6, 2017 Report Share Posted October 6, 2017 There are a lot of reasons why therapy works. I've been in therapy, myself. A good therapist doesn't just "listen" but actively steers the (albeit one-sided) conversation. You'd be surprised how much of our own suffering is caused by our brains lying to us about how the world is, just like RedScott's brain was lying to him about the size of his dick. While you might be fooled, a therapist won't be and an objective, trustworthy, outside opinion is worth more than gold. RedScott: wow! That is unorthodox, but based on your posts on this forum, I'd never guess you had an issue with your size! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Scott Posted October 6, 2017 Report Share Posted October 6, 2017 Up until my late teens I had no problem with my size and I can't quite gauge where or why it all went wrong! For me, luckily, my high sex drive kept me wanting more sex and a more varied sex life, so although I had definite anxieties around size it never stopped me seeking my sexual desires. I just put my fears to the back of my mind, the problem was the amount of encounters I turned away from because I saw myself as small and looking back this was unnecessary and I know I missed out! I had quite an almost insatiable sexual appetite so I still needed to get my rocks off and I guess being bisexual meant I needed both sexes to get my kicks. The dysmorphia got really bad as I turned into my 30's and it was then that I got help because I almost took my life, which would've been for a non existent problem and it embarrasses me now to look back! Thankfully after therapy in my very early thirties I went all out to catch up on what I'd missed out on before and stopped shying away from certain sexual encounters or situations. I enjoyed everything so much more after therapy right up until the present! Therapy was the best thing I ever did! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallestpenisever Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 I thought that this site has many small guys with small penises. Why don't people talk about their issues here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuck45 Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 We do, share our stories, but no one here has spoken up and said they are a licensed therapist or psychologists. While layman can be beneficial, sometimes it takes a professional. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuck45 Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 Nothing to be em bare assed about. It was the necessary path for you to follow and now it allows you to share and help others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancebelt Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 I haven't gotten counseling, but a regret that I didn't do it when I was younger. For me, I'm sure my low self esteem has held me back in many ways over the years. Maybe it's not too late. Funny that 50% percent of the male population is BELOW average, but size jokes are thought to be HILARIOUS. And yes I know, statistics don't really work that way, but you know what I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topdog Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 Well, I don't have a small dick but I AM a qualified therapist, and I have to say that it's not for everyone, or not always the right thing at the right time. Being pushed into therapy before you're ready for it can impede someone's recovery. For therapy to work you have to genuinely want to change - then the therapist can help you do what you want to do. You also have to be the kind of person who finds talking about things helpful. If you're not that kind of person, you might find it more useful to explore other avenues to improve body image issues and self-worth concerns, which tend to be at the root of most dysmorphias. People used spirituality, bodywork (e.g. yoga), healthy relationships and self-improvement to work on these issues long before there was therapy. Having said all that, some people find it extraordinarily effective, and, if it appeals to you, and find talking about things useful, you should give it a go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostBoy1 Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 I'm similar to Red Scott in that I had an insatiable sexual appetite in my younger years so even though I am very small it didn't seem to slow me down a lot. The biggest downside for me was always self-esteem and that led to a tendency for strong introversion. I'm not sure that I have ever made the first move with a girl. Typically I waited for them to come to me and when I knew that they were interested I would move forward. I've considered counseling multiple times but to sit face to face with someone and talk about my small penis would be an extremely difficult and awkward thing for me to do. I can talk a lot online because of the impersonal nature of typing and the delayed responses and reactions but the face to face is so much more intimate. I also looked and can't find a "specialist" in small penis syndrome. I sure don't want to go to someone who has never dealt with this or dealt with it only once or twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Scott Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 Because sometimes it's not just about talking or sharing problems, sometimes there's deep seated psychological issues that require professional guidance. For many, sharing problems and talking with members on here is a great help and helps rebuild confidence. But for some it's gone further on the downward spiral and they're in a very dark place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuck45 Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 "spirituality, bodywork (e.g. yoga), healthy relationships and self-improvement" Didn't know you were a Therapists, but now we do. Self-improvement / spirituality - self directed therapy?? (healing) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topdog Posted October 7, 2017 Report Share Posted October 7, 2017 Sorry Canuck honey, that's a bit stream-of-consciousness for me! Are you asking what I mean, or saying you disagree, or...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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