Who do you talk to about this?

[Jon.Carrax]

I’m curious if you talk about your penis size and feeling of inadequacy - if there’s any - with somebody out of this forum.

I used to talk about this with a girl cousin and I have commented it to my girlfriend, she doesn’t like me to talk about it though.

[toadfish327]

Any of us can try to help you.  Just tell us why you feel inadequate.

[Red Scott]

@Jon.Carrax Loads of guys on here can talk to you about feeling inadequate, it would be helpful if you can explain why and give us an idea of your measurements. 

One thing I do know is that girls don't like to talk about size, especially where the guy thinks he's "small" Girls like a guy to be confident about himself regardless of size, so when you bring the subject up you display insecurities to her. Lots of girls don't know how to respond to this line of questioning for fear of either upsetting you or feeling they have to be less than truthful thus you thinking she's being condescending towards you. Simply put, don't ask your girlfriend this type of question! 

[canuck45]

Yep, with "friends' I am having fun with.  Recently 2 guys said they wanted a big dick to fuck them.  I said, Lost out on both accounts.  We ended up playing (oral) and they both wanted to hook up again.  I do bring up my size and it never seems to be any issue.  One guy said it looked bigger in the picture.  I said, you know cameras, they add 10lbs and 2"  we still had fun.

[Tiny@Tweed]

I have always been shy about size.  A few years ago I took a huge step and went to a nearby nudist lake which is visited by gays and str8s.  Nobody seemed to care and it didn't harm my opportunities to "make out" in the bushes surrounding the lake

[Jon.Carrax]

@Red Scott I have already given my measurements before but they are about 7” BPEL (I’m not really sure about this and it may be a little less) and between 4.9”-5” of girth. I feel inadequate because I think it’s not enough to be really attractive and desirable and that’s not the best size to have sex with.

I have been trying to make it bigger  with exercesises and stuff but I have not been really committed to them.

[RodEnuf]

@Jon.Carrax You are about 1.5 inches longer than the top end of the range of averages reported in all of the reliable published studies of adult erect penis length.  Each of those studies reported an average length between 5.1 and 5.5 inches BPEL.  It would seem that you are one of the many site members who may suffer from Penile Dysmorphic Disorder.

Penile dysmorphic disorder (PDD) is shorthand for men diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), in whom the size or shape of the penis is their main, if not their exclusive, preoccupation causing significant shame or handicap.  [Archives of Sexual Behavior - Mar 3, 2015]

 

PDD is not an actual diagnosis in the DSM; rather, it is better considered as a sub-type of (BDD) that focuses exclusively on the penis. BDD refers to a condition in which individuals have a persistent and distressing belief that they have some major physical defect or flaw that, in reality, is only very slight or not noticeable by others or non-existent at all.

 

Alan G

[Red Scott]

@Jon.Carrax As RodEnuf has explained above, you have nothing WHATSOEVER to worry about with regards to size! I agree also on his belief that you may be suffering PDD/BDD and with that in mind it would be best if you sought help for that sooner rather than later. Not seeking help could lead to this taking you on a rapid downward spiral where penis size consumes your every waking thought, and trust me you don't want to be in that place. It's dark, it's lonely and its a hard place to climb out of! 

I've no doubt that even if every member on here told you your size is fine you probably won't see it the same way which is why professional help is the best way forward. 

[Devil28]

This site by far is the most open one I've seen by a mile! All the posters have been nothing but nice & supportive over the years.

Out of this site only my mum knows things about me but not in detail still.

[Jon.Carrax]

@Red Scott and @RodEnuf

That’s already a thought I have every single day, my penis size. I think this is a kind of obsession and I’d like to get out of it but that’s easier said than done. I very rarely talk about this in my life so I keep 99% of my thoughts related to penis size, which is a lot, to myself. 

Sometimes I feel like I believe and sometimes I feel I don’t believe in those studies. When I say that I believe it’s because in the most serious pages I’ve been to usually cite studies where the average size is somewhere 5 to 6, not sure if it is BPEL, and around 5” in girth. And at the same time I don’t believe it because I see A LOT of guys whose size is over 7” of length and 5.5” of girth - some in here and some in pages to “make your penis bigger” with exercises. 

My size varies a lot depending on how you measure NBPEL because I have a curvature but BPEL is usually around or a bit less than 7”, usually between 6.5” and 7” BPEL.

I have had very rare and crazy thoughts due to this as I said before, but I try to keep my anxiety down. I like talking about them but I don’t anybody would like to listen to them.

I’m sorry if I make any mistake but english is not my native language.

[Jon.Carrax]

I forgot to mention that another reason that makes me wonder if those studies are accurate is that I have read about some guys, who claim to be at 6” NBPEL and 5” of girth, be called small.

This is how I see and feel everything and it’s not my intention to seem ridiculous so don’t judge me. Me myself thinks is ridiculous to even care about penis size since it doesn’t really define how much pleasure you can give but I still care a lot.

[RodEnuf]

We need to remember that much of our expectation regarding penis size is formed, unfortunately, by watching porn.  Porn producers use male performers with big dicks because it's easier to show their dick having penetrative sex than to show an average size dick.  Further, the great majority of male porn performers are short in stature -- many under 5 foot 10 inches tall.  On these men, an above average penis looks huge.

The other significant opportunity to get a sense of the size of other guys' dicks is in shower/locker rooms.  There we need to remember that flaccid length is NOT a useful indicator of erect length.  Some men are growers and some are showers.  A grower's dick may be two, three, or more times its soft length when it's hard.  A shower's dick is little if any longer erect than it is soft.  So a guy whose showing off his five inch swinging dick as he parades to and from the shower may well be only five inches erect.  Also, the guys who have big dicks are much more likely to put themselves on display in that venue than average and smaller guys, making it seem that there are more of them.

As to the proper way to measure, all of the reliable medical studies use BPEL -- Bone Pressed Erect Length -- measured from the base of the penis, with the ruler pressed firmly, but not painfully, into the fat pad at the base of the penis, along the upper side of the penis to the tip of the glans (not the foreskin).

[Red Scott]

@Jon.Carrax I just want to add to what RodEnuf has said to you. The other guys you refer to that all seem to be 7" x 5.5" are guys you see in the various forms of media and not in the flesh, yes? Well the vast majority of those that show themselves on the net, or have been photographed for whichever site are confident guys, the guys who generally don't worry about size. The average and less well endowed guys are underrepresented in the various media types and this skews our B. A. P. S leaving many believing they're small when they're not.

You should take no notice of claims on sites regarding enlargement, even those dedicated to natural methods. they will show you guys who have large penises and claim they're average to either sell you products or for you to use their site more. Sales and site traffic both generate cash for the sites owners. They prey on a guy's insecurities for their own gain, personally I think this is deplorable behaviour! 

Lastly, you mentioned curvature. When measuring a curved penis you measure along the curve itself. If you take a piece of string 6" in length and place it on a table curved rather than straight, the distance from end to end maybe just 5" but it's still 6" in length when measured along the curve. 

[Guest]

To answer the original question - no.

[Jon.Carrax]

I wish this was an easier topic to talk about with people because I sometimes feel the need to speak out my mind about this - Even when sometimes there are repeated thoughts. I feel it helps me to feel a bit better. 

@Red Scott and @RodEnuf

Thanks for the illustrations, I haven’t measured again because I have had no time but I’ll do it when I can to reassure, I think I’ve done it good so far though.

As you said it’s logical that the most confident guys about their penises are going to be the guys in the larger side and they’re less likely to be afraid of showing it. 

Lately I’ve reading the book “She comes first” and it’s helped me a bit with the anxiety. I also do some stretching to my penis even though it may not really work but they also helps me a bit to feel better.

 

 

[shooter]

Grr Ive wrote a wall of text here and its gone in a poof sec. I m a bit angry now.

@Jon.Carrax  said:"Thanks for the illustrations, I haven’t measured again because I have had no time but I’ll do it when I can to reassure, I think I’ve done it good so far though."

So ..PLease do not measure your manhood from now on! It could only cause unhappyness. You have a beautyful, functionating , unique, one and only sex organ. Just USE IT WELL and do not measure. It could cause many pleasure to your partner and to you too.

I bet you have a nice personality - so your cock must be nice too.

Edited September 18, 2018 by shooter

[Guest]

2 hours ago, shooter said:

Grr Ive wrote a wall of text here and its gone in a poof sec. I m a bit angry now.

@Jon.Carrax  said:"Thanks for the illustrations, I haven’t measured again because I have had no time but I’ll do it when I can to reassure, I think I’ve done it good so far though."

So ..PLease do not measure your manhood from now on! It could only cause unhappyness. You have a beautyful, functionating , unique, one and only sex organ. Just USE IT WELL and do not measure. It could cause many pleasure to your partner and to you too.

I bet you have a nice personality - so your cock must be nice too.

I tried that through my prime sexually active years.  I thought to myself, I'm about six, because anything else, so I heard, was unacceptable based on the flawed Kinsey study.  But, really, I was a little less than 4.5.  Denial is not the way to go.  You need to know the truth and let it set you free.  Instead, it was one of several factors undermining and even making me doubt my success.  A source of anxiety.

[shooter]

@overthehill I did'nt encourage him to deny it. No. Im just telling him that he doesnt need to measure it to live a wonderful life. 

To stay ontopic: I wished I could talk about these kind of things with my parents - but my father died early and I was too shy to ask things from my mother and my older brother.  Nowadays my partner fulfills this dream of me to freely speak about my sexuality and my organs which involved
So Im happy.

(sorry about my bad english) 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, shooter said:

@overthehill I did'nt encourage him to deny it. No. Im just telling him that he doesnt need to measure it to live a wonderful life. 

To stay ontopic: I wished I could talk about these kind of things with my parents - but my father died early and I was too shy to ask things from my mother and my older brother.  Nowadays my partner fulfills this dream of me to freely speak about my sexuality and my organs which involved
So Im happy.

(sorry about my bad english) 

No problem with your English.

We must accept that you can talk to very few people about this matters.  When I even hinted problems with late puberty, my parents didn't want to hear and demanded denial.  Anonymous on-line forums are a blessing that, I do believe, could change things.  However, there are forces trying to outlaw anonymous presence because it can be abused.

[Guest]

I've suffered with body dysmorphia since I was young; it was natural to shift to the penis as I entered puberty.  Long story short I started to use penis pumps with little permanent results as an adult and finally started using an extender to stretch over last 10 years. The odd thing about dysmorphia is that you still can't get past the effects no matter how big you get. I've managed to get control over the condition but find it still sneaks in every once in a while. Though I was originally well within the average range I became obsessed with getting bigger and bigger. My heart goes out to those who have trouble accepting their body and wish everyone the best with their struggle.

[Red Scott]

@pfm That's the problem with dysmorphia, you don't see what's actually there, the brain adjusts (morphs) what it sees. You can be big, get big, but the brain still sees small. The key to recovery from dysmorphia is re-training the brain and avoiding situations that give the brain chance to morph an image, such as a head on comparison. 

[Jon.Carrax]

I measured my BPEL and it was the same I think: between 6.9” and 7.1”.

@shooter: You’re blessed that you can talk about this with someones else, I really need it sometimes but I know I don’t usually say anything new though.

@pfm: Thanks PFM. It’s really hard to struggle with this especially because it’s hard to find support outside the internet and anonymously. I’m not talking only about penis size but any kind of body dysmorphia.

@overthehill: I have never even tried to speak about this with my parents nor my brother. 

@Red Scott: That’s true. I usually fall into doing comparisons of others with myself and every time I find someone who’s bigger than me, even if it’s slightly, I get anxious.