divedud Posted October 13, 2018 Report Share Posted October 13, 2018 How do you deal with the humiliation of being outed as small and all your friends knowing? I am 54 yrs old and 4.5 erect. I have been outed by ex girl friends on four occasions which led me to rebuilding my life 3 times with a new social circle each time. I have now been a recluse for 20 yrs this month. No friends, no women, no life other than low paid low status work. My plan is sucide once my mother is dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 13, 2018 Report Share Posted October 13, 2018 If your "friends" drastically change their attitudes and behavior when they find-out you are small, they weren't your friends. However, I am aware that, even with true friends, attitudes will change some due to apparently instinctual status criteria. Why did you feel you needed a new social circle each of the 3 times you were "outed." Were the social circles so primitive or abusive that you couldn't tolerate their dramatically changed attitudes? I've notices a little patronizing when people find-out. A little humiliating, but not the end of the world. By acting like I don't care, the issue was minimized. Many people who might have looked up to me because of some of my characteristics, I could see were happy to know I wasn't "all that" after all! By the way, I am also 4.5 erect. Only about 1/2 off average. Not a tremendous handicap as compare to much smaller guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Scott Posted October 13, 2018 Report Share Posted October 13, 2018 8 hours ago, divedud said: How do you deal with the humiliation of being outed as small and all your friends knowing? I am 54 yrs old and 4.5 erect. I have been outed by ex girl friends on four occasions which led me to rebuilding my life 3 times with a new social circle each time. I have now been a recluse for 20 yrs this month. No friends, no women, no life other than low paid low status work. My plan is sucide once my mother is dead. Suicide? No, no, no! I've contemplated that at one point in my life and I'm happy to say I decided that wasn't the answer and nor is it for you! Why should you end your life because of the thoughts and words of others. You have to start by stamping your feet and not accepting humiliation from others and tell them exactly how they make you feel, all for something you were born with! These people aren't worthy of your attention let alone your life! Your penis size doesn't and shouldn't dictate how your life goes, nor do the words of others. Only you dictate which path you take through life and only you can decide that direction. I'm going to say get some professional help, but sometimes that's easier said than done. You must wake up in the morning and tell yourself it isn't going to be this way and I'm doing something about it. Anybody can make something of themselves and that doesn't require a certain size of penis, nor does it require money, it requires determination and courage to stand up to people and no longer be cowed into a certain life and person you don't want to be. Good luck sir and please don't think about suicide! Triasco9.5, Biggie Smalls, wewanttolive and 3 others 3 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuck45 Posted October 14, 2018 Report Share Posted October 14, 2018 (edited) @divedud Low pay, low status....my question, does the job support you? Yes, then it is adequate for your needs. You don't have to be part of the bigger is better rat race....20,000 sq ft home for 2 people....sheer ignorrance and waste (IMHO) and yes I am always humble hahahahahaha As for status let me tell you a story. Years ago (in my early 20's) I usued to go over to a friends place regularly, his dad was a doctor at my clinic. Whenever I was there I would address his father as Sir. One day he asks, why do yo always say Sir? I explained I was brought up to show upmost respect to doctors, they are one step below god (or vice versa). They have an important job. He asked what my father did. "he is just a mill worker". So he explained, without my dad working in a lumber mill, he (the doctor) would not have a house to live in and would have to live in a cave and wouldn't have a clinic to practice in. He said, everyone's job is important no matter what people might think, we all need each other in one way or another. Don't every call me Sir again and don't put me on a pedastal. I am only a human, like all the others. So low status job, no such thing. All jobs are just jobs. I work in community service @ $26.00 hr. I have assocciates who run their own private business. If I spend 4 hours with a client, polishing their resume, cover letter and interview coaching, I get paid $108. My associates in the private industry charge $1500-8000 to do this. Does that make my job less than, or are they just greedy. Its not the job title ((Aassociate Assistant to the Adjunct Consultant of XYZ...gees the fancy titles people give themselves...gofer is so much more succinct)) or the wages, its knowing that what you do benefits someone else in some way. remember the honeymooners show, if it was for Ed Norton the sewer worker, we would all be up to our necks in shit. thankfully some people are not so hung up on prestige, titles and status. Edited October 14, 2018 by canuck45 Triasco9.5 and Curious52 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgdgolf Posted October 16, 2018 Report Share Posted October 16, 2018 Really no reason to think about suicide. I am under 4" erect and I have a wonderful wife and life. Just keep looking, you will find the right woman. aquarock, Coke, Foursquared and 3 others 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyJock Posted October 18, 2018 Report Share Posted October 18, 2018 On 10/13/2018 at 6:03 AM, divedud said: How do you deal with the humiliation of being outed as small and all your friends knowing? It's never been a problem with me. I've been in sports most my life. Played football in high school and college, wrestled, MMA, was in the Navy, and now hit the gym three or four times a week (with open showers). I'll admit still to some self-consciousness when stripping down in front of other guys because of my small cock (really tiny when soft; pretty much buried in my pubes), but it's no big deal. (Pun intended!) In fact, way back in high school I learned to get turned on by it. And, yes, I've been outed by girls. I lived with a girl for two years who'd tease me in front of others. (One of whom later became my current wife.) I also had a summer affair with a college girl who also teased me, both in bed and out, once in front of two of her girlfriends from school. Afterwards, I complained, and she shot back, grinning, "You love it!" Had to admit she was right. Like being turned on by other guys seeing me naked in the locker room, I also enjoyed having girls out me. In fact, I'd sometimes out myself, often with a deprecating comment about my size. For instance, in the Navy I did a lot of MFM 3-ways with a buddy of mine. One day in the rec room aboard ship, some guys curiously peppered me with questions about this. I remember slipping in a comment about my buddy doing most of the heavy-duty fucking because the girls preferred his bigger one over my small one. It really turned me on to expose my short-comings like that. lttle1, Foursquared, wewanttolive and 1 other 1 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caliboy25 Posted October 18, 2018 Report Share Posted October 18, 2018 Whoa, recluse, suicide, three entirely new circles of friends?! That is some rough stuff. I don't want to gloss over how you're feeling, but as someone who is smaller than you, it isn't that bad! I promise! Unless you've had some TERRIBLE luck with friends, three times over, they can't have thought it was as bad or humiliating or funny as you think they did. I think most of my close friends know I'm small (I'm not shy about dishing out a funny, self-depracating, one-liner about my size). Several have actually seen it, and it really hasn't changed anything for me. I'm still very shy about SHOWING it to friends who don't know, or haven't seen, or are newer in my life. I'm really not shy about showing my little button to strangers, though, whether that's in a locker/changing room, sauna or even a bathhouse. (In the latter, it's generally grown from button to golf pencil, but still!) There are plenty of things to seriously worry about in life, especially in 2018. Your dick size shouldn't be one. I hope you'll find a supportive enough community here to start moving your thinking in that direction. I've been seriously depressed, even suicidal, in the past -- not about this -- and can tell you that eventually you start to see the light before it disappears. RodEnuf, wewanttolive, Biggie Smalls and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 18, 2018 Report Share Posted October 18, 2018 Wow - your post is SO worthy of answers; it's hard to know where to start or what to say. But I will say this - as an older person (who, yes, did once contemplate suicide but for another reason) who's had his ups and downs. One thing I would recommend to you is - PMA, Positive Mental Attitude. Here's how I see it. My brain only has just so much capacity for "stuff." So WHY would I want to accept and retain negative CRAP from people who have proved they really do not care one bit about me or my self-worth? Why would YOU? Simply put - you must REJECT the negative crap people throw at you. Just do NOT accept their negative crap! It serves absolutely NO purpose for your life. Seriously! Think about it - how does knowing that Joe Bloggs laughed at your penis HELP you succeed in life? Who CARES what Joe Bloggs thinks? His opinion is of NO value to you - reject it. All those circles of "friends" - REJECT them. Well, I guess you HAVE rejected those past pieces of dung - but have you rejected THEIR negativity against you or have you CHOSEN to keep that in your mind; in your heart? DROP it! I can't emphasize that enough. It serves no purpose whatsoever. So, draw a line.... that was the old life. Time for the new. You say you're a recluse. That can be an advantage - no more negative friends! Good! Now, understand that the size of your penis has NO effect on your job. Hey, I don't even know what you do but, unless you're a porn star, I honestly believe that your penis size is NOT a factor in either GETTING a job or getting a PROMOTION or being a SUCCESS in life! CHOOSE LIFE! You don't like what people said in the past - reject them and choose YOURSELF! Start looking for a better job. Status? Eh, no big deal, IMHO - like @canuck45 said. Far more important is to ENJOY what you do. So, don't waste any more time thinking about the past - think about the FUTURE. What do you enjoy doing? Is there some job that could involve that? Is there some other job that you thought you could do but never tried? Think about those things - look forward. Don't let the past CONTROL your future. YOU need to control your future and that starts by rejecting all past AND FUTURE negative garbage. You don't have time for that - you only have time for a great life. "Living well is the best revenge." Amen. Please. Open your mind and your heart to your own potential. Do NOT buy in to negativity - not from others and especially not from yourself. I was down, way down. But I came back because I CHOSE to reject the negative and LIVE. I do seriously hope you do the same. You can if you will. It's your choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canuck45 Posted October 20, 2018 Report Share Posted October 20, 2018 @CuriousNow Ditto. I often say to people, don't rent head space to the negative people. Every morning repeat, those negative people are nothing to me, their ignorant opinions mean nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coke Posted October 20, 2018 Report Share Posted October 20, 2018 On 10/16/2018 at 11:58 AM, SvenD. said: Really no reason to think about suicide. I am under 4" erect and I have a wonderful wife and life. Just keep looking, you will find the right woman. I agree with Sven - there is no reason to beat up yourself over something you cannot control. What you can do is accept your short-comings and move on. I have lived with my "little" friend for over 60 years - been married to the same woman for 37 years and have two beautiful Daughters. My circle of friends has changed from time to time, and it has grown over the years. If guys were more open about talking size in front of one another, it would not be so embarrassing or humiliating. We just need to open up and this site is one place to do so. We're here for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgdgolf Posted October 23, 2018 Report Share Posted October 23, 2018 On 10/13/2018 at 5:03 AM, divedud said: How do you deal with the humiliation of being outed as small and all your friends knowing? I am 54 yrs old and 4.5 erect. I have been outed by ex girl friends on four occasions which led me to rebuilding my life 3 times with a new social circle each time. I have now been a recluse for 20 yrs this month. No friends, no women, no life other than low paid low status work. My plan is sucide once my mother is dead. Hi divedud: I have linked some of my pics in my signature so you can take a look and maybe that will make you feel better. I am tiny by any measure, yet I have a stunningly beautiful and wonderful wife (not just my opinion), two wonderful kids and I am not rich either. Please just always try to do your best with what you are given in life and things will work out. Your penis is just one of many factors about you. Some women actually prefer smaller dicks. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Biggie Smalls, Foursquared, wewanttolive and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krantz53 Posted October 27, 2018 Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 Hi, really sorry to hear that you are feeling so depressed. I really don't think that you should count as 'friends' anyone who judges you by penis size, that is a very superficial and stupid way to judge a man. A sexual partner might be concerned about size, but a platonic friend, never! I have some photos on this site that you are welcome to look at that will demonstrate that I am hardly going to win any prizes for what I have, but if anyone has a problem with it, tough luck! Nature gave me an average sized penis (like most men on this planet), there is nothing to be done about it, so I just enjoy what I have. Your penis comes within the average range, so please try to accept that you very little different to most men. Anyone who is a true friend will judge you on your personality and if you treat others with consideration and respect, not your physical attributes. We are all here to give you support if we can, so don't be afraid to let members know if you need it. Take care. Triasco9.5, wewanttolive, Biggie Smalls and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Smalls Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 On 10/27/2018 at 7:02 PM, Krantz53 said: Nature gave me an average sized penis (like most men on this planet), there is nothing to be done about it, so I just enjoy what I have. It's great that you're happy with your size. I wish every man could say that of himself. Nonetheless there are ways to enlarge one's member for those who are not happy at all with their size. One just needs to be willing to go to great lengths to achieve that goal. Red Scott 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triasco9.5 Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 I would say seeking a larger penis is fine as long as the understanding of the possible consequences of each of the various methods advertised. Typically, most men are in the camp where satisfying sex is better reached through accepting the size and finding a receptive partner rather than increasing their penis size. Red Scott and wewanttolive 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biggie Smalls Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 17 minutes ago, Triasco9.5 said: I would say seeking a larger penis is fine as long as the understanding of the possible consequences of each of the various methods advertised. Typically, most men are in the camp where satisfying sex is better reached through accepting the size and finding a receptive partner rather than increasing their penis size. I'm sure it's best if you find a way to accept your size. Just wanted to mention that dick size isn't something that cannot be changed at all. Red Scott 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Triasco9.5 Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 @Biggie Smalls It's not immutable, true. As long as people are realistic in their goals and timeframes and keep their overall health in mind, the penis enlargement practice is fine. actually, many of the tactile techniques are good for penis health in general. Biggie Smalls and Red Scott 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Scott Posted November 2, 2018 Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 @Triasco9.5 General rule of thumb when it comes to manual non invasive penis enlargement methods such as jelquing, vacuum pumps etc, is "If it hurts you've gone too far" This goes for any body enlargement process such as weight lifting, if after a session you feel pain in a muscle you know you've hurt yourself and lift less the next time, the same goes for penis exercise. Just take it slowly! Biggie Smalls 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Restoredude Posted November 3, 2018 Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 I've done jelquing through the years and did gain some girth, mainly from the middle of the shaft to the glans. You can see it mostly when I'm hard. https://imgur.com/9Hw5aZ5 Biggie Smalls 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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