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Poll: When where hurtful things said?


joey

Poll - Age(s) where people said things that made you feel small (not SPH)  

43 members have voted

  1. 1. Elementary School (age 5 - 11)

  2. 2. Jr. High / Middle school (age 11 - 14)

  3. 3. High School (age 14 - 18)

  4. 4. Young Adult Experience (military / college - age 18 - 22)

  5. 5. Adult



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Many threads & comments are about a specific time when people developed insecurities.  Please vote on this poll for all the age ranges where people actually said things to you that negatively affected you.  Please leave comments with details.

 

SPH, sexual fantasy are not a part of this poll.

 

 

Edited by joey
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There are 3 specific events I experienced , all when I was 11 or 12, that made me have the struggles I have.  Nobody ever said anything in high school, but I still lived in fear.  I've posted about all three experiences before on this forum, but to save you the time of looking:

 

1.  A PEER when changing for swimming.  He had failed a grade or two & was man sized.  I said that one of his nuts was bigger than my entire package.  If I knew then what I do now I would have called him out for being so much older than me and said I'd catch up when I was his age (even if that wasn't true, it would have shut him up... comparing a pre-puberty dick to a developed dick - what a joke.  

2.  Sex ed class, when THE BOOK / pamphlet had cartoons of the stages of development and said that man sized dicks hang lower than the balls.  Stupid, inaccurate book - I've got low hangers & would have to be hung like an elephant for my dick to look like it's hanging past my scrotum.  If I knew then what I do now I would have corrected the information for the class.

3.  A group of THREE random younger boys that were responding to my semi in a public locker room after ice hockey.  They said they had more than me.  The did not get naked to shower, so who knows if they really did.  If I knew then what I do now I would have challenged them to prove it & gotten the rest of the way hard.   At the time getting boned in public would have completely freaked me out!  And while there's a chance one of them might have been bigger, they were probably just talking smack.  

 

 

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I was 19 Yo and decided to take Groupal Swimming Lessons at a Sporting Club about half an hour ride from my House. it was during Winter, with really Cold Days. The 3 Storey Building with the Facilities for indoor Sports and Locker Rooms was at the Front and the Semi Olympic Pool at the Backyard which has been used along the Year but during Fall and Winter they placed a Big Structure covered with a Big Tent over it. With a Big Heater to make the Water Warner (or at least they intended to with no success it was mostly warm near cold) also some Steam was sent inside the Big Tent to make a warm environment by Heating the Ait. I had my first 2 Lessons on Tuesday and Thursday Night and the 3rd one was carried on Saturday Afternoon. That day the Club was really crowded because of all the People who came to Swim and play Sports. I changed in the pretty small Men's Locker room and headed to the Pool along the rest of my Swimming Classmates (7 more people) when inside I heard voices saying "Hey! How are you? What are you doing here?" they were 3 boys I knew from High School, older than me (probably 21 yo) they were not my Classmates but we've known each other for sharing the School yard during Class Breaks and because we played some Soccer during our School Spare Time. We did a small talk and then I left to start my class on the other Corner of the Pool (the one that was Flat enough for us begginers -with the Water at Waist level) and these guys remained Swimming all around because they actually can swim.

The day was really cold, so did the Water, after 1 hr of Learning and Practicing it made "effect" on me because literally I couldn't feel anything in my Crotch, it was like I had nothing between my legs, either visually (because there was no bulge in my Swimming Shorts) and tactically (I had almost no sensation when touching my Balls) The Class finished and all of us went fast to take a Hot Shower. Unfortunately because of all the people using the Showers that day, it seems like the Heater could make the tons of Litres of Water to get Hot fast enough, so we had to shower with slightly warm Water, almost with a similar Temperature of Pool's Water. When I took of my Shorts my Dick was probably sized 1/4 of an inch and my Balls were a Nut size (and the water temperature from the shower didn't help to get them to a "more presentable" state) After showering I toweled a bit and then get back to the Benches where I left my Bag with the Clothes. When I reached there, these Guys I knew were laughing and making jokes with one another, when they saw me there Naked, one of they said almost out loud "Oh it seems we'll be having PEANUTS for the Snack!" the other 2 laughed as everyone else in the small room turned their heads to see (and confirm) what they were talking about, some Giggled. I had my Penis in a Hiper Small state! My Face turned Red but I pretended I didn't  care, just laughed along them saying "Oh shut up MFs, yours are not better than mine! " (but it was not True, because theirs really were way much bigger than mine, in spite we shared the same Cold Water, their Dicks and Balls were almost as mine in my best days) it was the very first Time we've seen each other Naked and after that I felt embarrassed and bad, hating myself for being that small. On the next Classes during Saturdays I avoided going to the Lockers until they finish changing and left the place, so I stayed for almost an extra hour by the Pool watching the other swimming classes) 

Nowadays when I go to a Public Pool where Nobody knows who I am, I'm not (that) Shy, but if I had to share the shower with a Well Endowed Guy, Specially Teens who have really big Packages (I don't know what they eat but they're Gorgeous Lean in good Shape and very well Endowed! I feel really Jealous sometimes) I face the Wall turning my back to them so they can barely see our bulges' differences!

Edited by LilGonzalote
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I didn't know whether to click yes or not on the last question as it wasn't hurtful to me, it angered me and had me questioning myself for about a day or two. 

Twice in my life I've been described as small, once in my late teens by my younger (by 3 yrs) best mate, but then his was massive so most guys would seem small to him! I took no notice as it was rather a light hearted comment. I simply replied "it's not me that's small mate, it's you who's freakishly big!" 

The second time was the one that got me mad. It was about 5 - 7 years ago on one of the websites I'd posted pics on. Either dick.net or Bateworld.com, I can't remember which. All 5 of the pics I'd posted in a new album had all got really positive remarks, but this one guy posted a comment along the lines of "it's rather small to be honest, if it were mine I wouldn't publicly show it" That, really pissed me off and he got a very long reply. Most of which was a verbal onslaught of the highest order in text form. All of it was put beautifully without swear words and he definitely got the message. I got a half arsed apology in a reply and never heard from him again! 

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I was in 6th grade and was about taking my shower after gym and 3 guys were pointing and holding up their fingers an inch apart and pointing at me. Laughing. I was mortified. I actually threw up and got to go home. Had to go back the next day and threw up again. Finally I got permission not to take showers but that was even worse.

 

I was in 8th or 9th grade and the local bully came over with his friends while I was out in the woods building a tree house. They asked to have a big dick contest. I said no as did my friend. I got smart with them and they held me down and took my pants off and made fun of me. They threw my pants in the creek and went away. My friend was mortified but told me later he was glad it was me and not him because he was small too. The local bully actually moved away not long after that. I stopped working on my tree house and my friend and I never talked again. (He moved away about a year later)

 

My sister and her husband were at my mom's house talking to my parents. I was about 19 or so when my sister says to my mom "Should I tell dad that story?" My mom looks right at me and says "No don't you'll embarrass @HurtbutHopeful, he's small" I had no idea what they were talking about and I said go ahead. My sister then told them that my nephew had been taking a shower with my BIL and looked up at his dick and told him that "When I grow up I want to have a Pee Pee that big" (He does, they are both pretty hung) I was furious. I finished eating and went to my room packed up my things and went back to my dorm. I never really came home after that. 

 

I've been told by so many guys & girls on kik, chat random, dirty roulette, etc, that I have a small dick. One guy was like "You have the smallest dick I've ever seen" I told him he must be new since I had seen many guys my size and a few smaller. He kept talking about how small I was but I kept jerking for him and finally nutted. I've been trying to get away from SPH since it took me to a really bad place but I couldn't help it.

 

There are a few others but the first 3 were watershed moments that affect me to this day.

Edited by HurtbutHopeful
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I had a little trouble on this. I never was teased that much when younger. Maybe because I was into athletics; played football in high school and college -- and fairly popular (student body president in high school). Maybe a little joking around. Only teasing I got in college  was run-of-the-milll standard-type stuff; don't remember being singled out or anything mean. 

After I got older, any teasing was from girl I was going with. I've had girls tease me during sex, not destructively, but erotically. When I was in my mid-twenties I had a summer affair with a girl between her senior year in high school and freshman year in college. She really teased me about my size during sex, but it was strictly sex play and really got us off. We were both aware that it was a big part of our sex. Later, after she went back to school in the fall, she tried to get back together (I was the only guy that ever turned her on) but I'd moved on by then. 

I had two gay friends from the gym. They both were well-hung (one humongous). The not-so-huge one teased me a lot about my size ("Needle Dic the Bug Fucker", "Is that a clit?"). It was always in fun (although occasionally it would sting a bit). They'd even tease me in front of their gay friends, introducing me as "Princess any Dick". Strangely, that didn't seem to stop anyone from hitting on me.

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3 hours ago, TinyJock said:

I had a little trouble on this. I never was teased that much when younger. Maybe because I was into athletics; played football in high school and college -- and fairly popular (student body president in high school).

The jocks and the popular kids were the ones who made fun of me. I’ve told people I’d never go back to being in middle school if I had the chance. It was awful. Count yourself very fortunate. 

Edited by HurtbutHopeful
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Haven't thought about this in forever. One summer a bunch of us cousins were together on vacation. I'm probably 13ish and in the middle of the pack age wise. The oldest would have been late teens and very early 20s. Late one night we're all hanging out and one of the older girls talks about a friend and her lover and how he was so small she couldn't even feel him. There's some laughter and she looks straight at me and says, "Sorry, Ed". 

A couple things stand out for me. One is that she was a sweet person and wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone. She might have really been apologetic for some of the laughter. Because the second things is she NEVER saw me naked. The couple other guys had and a couple of the girls (took a few showers with one, nothing sexual but good memories). So they had been talking.

Otherwise I skated by. Nothing in the locker rooms although I did my best to avoid those (skin issues, too, which were at least as big a problem). The women I was close to wouldn't take digs but my own insecurities and immaturity more than made up for it. Loved going skinny dipping etc with my group of friends. The freedom and openness with those guys and gals was great. 

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@TinyJock Do you think back then, WE as friends understood this to be all in fun.  Yes it might have stung a bit at times, but we all teased each other about something or another.  I found it that way.  Did we do it because we ALL had insecurities and we knew it and so did they?  You tease me about my dick and I tease you for being a dumb jock... and we all laughed together.  We accepted our differences in strengths/weakness and by playing on them we developed stronger bonds...we were vulnerable and could admit it.

I remember one jock, hung like a hamster, most popular guy in school and didn't even know it...(humble).  ONe day he comes up to me, he has a hot date and is worried something might "happen".  
ME: thats a problem?
He (whispered): I'm a virgin, what do I do?
Sorry but I laughed,
ME: YOU a virgin, you have all the hot chicks with you all the time, everyone knows you're a stud.
HE: but I never did anything, what do I do?
ME:  Why ask me, I've never had sex with anyone!
HE: Youre the school genius, you know everything. 

Eventually WE:  got a laugh about it.  After the 'date' at which nothing happened he came back to me and said "you won't tell anyone what I told you?" 
His secret was safe...the most popular guy in school, the school stud.... a virgin.

After that as teasing, out of the blue I would say "Steve, what do I do?"  We got the joke.

Edited by canuck45
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For me it wasn't really hurtful but more teasing. In high school, we had open showers and were required to take a shower after gym class or sports practice. Several guys (all hung) called me small Paul. Then my senior year I shaved my pubes (very unusual back then) and they started calling me bald Paul. LOL

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I think the last thing any junior high kid wants to do is stand out as being different.  Especially in the locker room.  Unfortunately for me, being uncut, a late bloomer and having an incredibly thin penis, I kind of hit the trifecta for being teased.  Even though I didn't like being teased, I coped with it by laughing it off and even making jokes about myself.  That was just my personality.

My brother was two years younger than me, but we have very different personalities. When he started seventh grade, I should have warned him of what to expect, but even though we looked the same down there, I was probably too embarrassed to bring it up.

Anyway, about the second week of school that year, he came into my room rather mad and asked me if I ever got teased in the locker room.  He rattled off some names kids were calling him.  I could relate, I was still hearing them.  He asked me what I did about it and I told him I just ignored them.

About a week after that, waiting for the bus to take us home, I saw my brother and a group of six or eight other kids walking my way.  It looked like my brother had been a fight. He had a couple of scrapes and a mark under his eye.  When the other kids left he walked over next to me with a big smile on his face.  I asked him what happened and he said, "No one's going to be giving me shit about my dick anymore."  He said he got into a fight with a certain kid.  I didn't know the kid, but I knew he was one of the biggest  seventh-graders.  I asked him why the kid beat him up.  My brother laughed and said, "He didn't beat me up.  He called me a pencil-dick, so I kicked his ass."

Saw the kid a couple of days later and he looked bad.  One eye swollen shut and the other with a big dark mark underneath.  While I don't condone fighting, my little brother gained a major rep and a lot of friends that day.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Kudos to your brother @Tsoren.  Normally I don’t condone violence myself, but sometimes you got to do what you got to do.  My best friend and I got into a fight with a bully at my school for something similar during our Physical Education class.  Bully debagged the kid and his entourage (along with the spectators) started calling the kid names while also teasing his size.  My best friend and I tried to deescalate the situation and it ended with us getting into a fight.  Though the bully never touched the kid again, the kid was distant from others after that

Regarding the topic, ironically the two instances that come to mind are in regards to people that have never seen my penis, but I think they bothered me because of an unhealthy relationship I had in regards to my body (not so much my penis) for years.  The first instance was when I was in university and helping one of my friends at the time with her Chemistry Assignment.  For some reason her roommate (who for some reason always had a comment to say to me) said I had “small hands” for a black guy.  Luckily my friend disparaged her for her comment since I was silent.  Her roommate probably took that as confirmation, but I did not know what to say since flaccid I am not large at all.  It upset me since it was like another confirmation from another person that I had several flaws in my body.

The second instance bothered me for months.  It was summer and I was doing research at my school with other students from different schools.  I was returning to my dorm wearing compression shorts under some tight sweatpants after working out.  In other words, any chance of a bulge was not happening.  Before I could get to my dorm, one of the students needed my help fixing something in their room.  Of course, once I get there, I see her other roommates there as I went to the student’s room.  For some reason the girls were there giggling as I was helping the roommate.  Once I left, they burst out laughing with the roommate saying “stop laughing, it is not funny and he is right outside.”  I know it is silly to think they were laughing because I was not bulging, but I honestly, I could not fathom why.    

The hurt for me comes from the sentiment that others like to exploit men’s insecurities with little care to the man attached to it, yet are reluctant to see how this can affect one psychologically and emotionally.

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  • 1 year later...

I had a number of outright public shaming incidents which were painful, but the worst was the "patronizing" I received from guys who tried to be friends on the surface.

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I don’t remember ever being publicly or openly humiliated for having such a small penis and testicles but this boy my age that had introduced me to masturbation once told me that I should have been born with a pussy instead of the tiny ‘thimble’, as he put it, that I had between my legs. We were eleven. It was hurtful but I tried not to let it bother me too much. I continued masturbating with him, as well as other things.

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On 2/26/2019 at 1:50 PM, canuck45 said:

@TinyJock Do you think back then, WE as friends understood this to be all in fun.  Yes it might have stung a bit at times, but we all teased each other about something or another.  I found it that way.  Did we do it because we ALL had insecurities and we knew it and so did they?  You tease me about my dick and I tease you for being a dumb jock... and we all laughed together.  We accepted our differences in strengths/weakness and by playing on them we developed stronger bonds...we were vulnerable and could admit it.

I remember one jock, hung like a hamster, most popular guy in school and didn't even know it...(humble).  ONe day he comes up to me, he has a hot date and is worried something might "happen".  
ME: thats a problem?
He (whispered): I'm a virgin, what do I do?
Sorry but I laughed,
ME: YOU a virgin, you have all the hot chicks with you all the time, everyone knows you're a stud.
HE: but I never did anything, what do I do?
ME:  Why ask me, I've never had sex with anyone!
HE: Youre the school genius, you know everything. 

Eventually WE:  got a laugh about it.  After the 'date' at which nothing happened he came back to me and said "you won't tell anyone what I told you?" 
His secret was safe...the most popular guy in school, the school stud.... a virgin.

After that as teasing, out of the blue I would say "Steve, what do I do?"  We got the joke.

Wow! Great response. During high school, like your friend I was popular and BMOC, picture of a stud. . . well, except between the legs. Your friend was hung like a hamster; I, like a chipmunk. When it came to sex, I was a lot like him. Scared shitless about sex. I was popular with girls and dated a lot, but when it got around to the nitty gritty, I always chickened out. Always had a good excuse but the truth was I was terrified I'd be laughed at or would prove woefully inadequate. Therefore, I was a virgin throughout most of high school. A cute cheer leader copped my cherry. She claimed she only had sex on the third date. She played a dirty trick and moved the schedule up to the second date. She was my first wife. 

You coulda been Travis S., one of my best friends in high school. I was the dumb jock; he was the school brain (but cool about it). We somehow bonded over -- would you believe it? -- model airplanes! I saw him once after school in the showers. Don't know why he was there; he didn't play any sports I knew of. Maybe tennis? He had a surprisingly "toned" swimmer's body. Plus, a fairly big dick (definitely above average). Quite a contrast to the button dick buried in my pubic hair. We once had a discussion about what we'd do in life. I said I didn't think I'd ever get married. . . didn't feel I was adequately equipped. He said -- a trifle smugly to my mind -- he didn't have that problem. He later married Diana B., the girl who tutored me after school. She was the female school brain, but surprisingly good-looking with big tits for a high school girl. My wife and I have dinner two or three times a year with them. 

 

Edited by TinyJock
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