Divorced or "Married and no sex at home"?

[Curious52]

Why does there have to be labels anyway? can't somebody just be a sex maniac and just enjoy(legal) sex because it is pleasant and fun?  IMHO

[canuck45]

@shooter 
Love with no sex might be difficult but isn't sex with no love worse....
A marriage is much more than sex....

Divorce and no sex, no marriage, no love....???
Single so just my uniformed opinion.

[tdawg09]

I'm married and used to be in 100% agreement with @Macro HOWEVER, there are lines isn't there? I had a foursome once, MMFF,  so does that make me gay? I also was invited to a threesome when I was younger and the guy was bi and gave me a blowjob (girl thought it was hot). Did I want it to be from another hot girl? sure, but I went through with it and it wasn't so bad. I identify as straight so no, I would never seek out another male for any kind of sexual activity; it kinda grosses me out just to think about it.  So if you are doing that, it at least makes you bi, right? isn't that the definition?  I do agree though that if someone is married and they are doing things with another guy, it's just as bad as cheating with a girl. You've stepped outside of your marriage either way. 

As far as sexless marriages go, I am also in agreement with Macro. Sex is the ONLY thing that you share with your wife that you don't share with anyone else. Without it, you're just good friends.  I can tell you this, if my wife ever withheld sex from me, I would be out of there in a heartbeat. Not necessarily because of the sex, but because of the clear message it sends. HOWEVER, if my wife couldn't have sex for medical reasons, not just because she didn't want to, then I would stick it out through thick and thin. 

[Guest]

On 11/4/2019 at 2:30 AM, Storm11 said:

I have a question. I hope it’s not offensive.

For those of you who don’t have sex with your partner anymore, do you still have any kind of physical contact. Can you caress her bum when she’s washing her face as you walk past, comment on how sexy she looks, touch her breast or stroke her pussy, is there any kind of sexual compliment even going on?

Late answer to an interesting question.  My answer?  Yes!  We sleep naked and I touch her all the time in bed (not just hands and feet, either).  And around the house, I will often caress her (and "squeeze" by her, rubbing against her, in "tight" spaces - like the middle of a room).  I agree such "communications" are important. 

[Guest]

On 11/5/2019 at 1:43 AM, shooter said:

I have zero sex life with my wife....

I constantly hug her and kiss her but seems she wanna be a mom not a woman....

Boy did THIS ring a bell!  After my kids were born, it was the same thing in my home.  It was clear that my wife wanted to be a mom and wanted to buy LOTS of stuff, so evidently that was why I existed.

I put up with it for MANY years, but finally couldn't take it any more and bailed out.  I am NOT recommending divorce, and I would encourage exploring other options to avoid it, if possible.  At that time, however, for me it seemed to be the only option.  I'm not proud of it.  I hate what it did to my kids.  But I am leading a MUCH MUCH MUCH more satisfying and full like without her (and with my second wife).

But I do agree that what YOU are living with, shooter, is unacceptable.  I hope things change for you - and soon.  Bonne chance!

[chevy1946]

@6INCHES66 sometimes it was hard at first but looking about other advantageous to do rise

[Guest]

When I married my 1st wife it wasn't too long after that I was notified that sex once a year was twice to many. So after a while we divorced. Then I met and married my 2nd wife. Boy the sex was the greatest. Then about 9 years ago she got sick and with the medication she has to take her sex drive took a dump. So from that time on we have no sex life. I have no desire to divorce her because it wasn't her fault. I'll still stand by her side and continue taking care of her. 

[chevy1946]

@Pilgrem understand completely know something here at home

[chevy1946]

@chevy1946 medical issues di rise and the same happened, she lost all desires and shut down but still a beautiful lovely lady. It was awesome back in the day

[Itsmike303]

On 4/19/2019 at 12:30 PM, fiveinchsmitty said:

I'm a married man whose wife went through the change and has had zero desire for sex for years. As a result the most pleasure I get is with my hand or, if I'm lucky, with another guy who wants to masturbate with me (very, very rare). Is anyone else in the same boat? If so, I'd like to hear what you do to ease the sexual frustration.

Pretty much the same situation for me. Every once in a while though she will give me a hand job  but gets bored too early and I have to finish myself. Other than that it's just lots of masturbation and an occasional trip to an adult bookstore and try to get blow job in the video booths in the rear. 

[mjjm]

I can understand sickness. In sickness and in health as we vowed.
 

But I can’t understand no sex. It’s a deal breaker for me. No sex = no marriage.

[andersopau]

New here....first post.  Married guy here.  Wife has been "Changing" for the past five years.   It's been 62 months without sex.  She also has a disability that decreased her sex drive years ago.  It's not an easy topic to discuss.  I jerk ff a lot because, hey it feels good, but I do miss those nights of sex. 

[Nillywilly]

With men, desire always precedes arousal. A 106-year-old guy sees an attractive woman and thinks, “I’d Iike to tap that.” Could he? Likely not, but the inclination persists.

With women, arousal precedes desire. If she’s ill, or doesn’t feel well, she can’t be approached, so there is no chance of desire coming into play.

Many on this board are bound by this conundrum.

[smallpplover]

i would really like to find a guy with a small dick who's wife doesn't put out.  i would be happy to give no reciprocate blowjobs in exchange for cum facials. 

[dtw1942]

I always have desire but, unfortunately, I need to use a VED to get my dick to feel the same way. Until recently, my post menapausal wife was willing to cooperate until about a month ago. Now she seems to be suffering with some sort of condition that is causing burning vaginal pain. I believe it is real and not an excuses. I am tempted to slather my pumped erection with cocobutter lotion, which is reportedly a remedy for vaginal infections, and tell her it Is for medicinal purposes.

[toadfish327]

My wife had a total hysterectomy in June.  Things sexually were ok after we were allowed to have vaginal sex again.  I am still not allowed to initiate sex or I am a horny old bastard, but she can initiate anytime she wants.  We used to have sex a couple times a week.  The last six weeks has been a dry spell.  I got one BJ since she was not clean and time was limited.  She woke me for sex one night, but I was tired and had not showered after a long bike ride earlier I the day.  It may grow shut before she let's me back between her legs.  I cook, clean, do dishes and laundry to help out.  Marriage is more than sex, but sex makes things much more pleasureable.  I will not look elsewhere besides my hand.

[Guest]

On 11/25/2020 at 9:27 AM, smallpplover said:

 i would be happy to give no reciprocate blowjobs in exchange for cum facials. 

Who would get cum on the face?  Sentence not clear?!

[SmallD1ck1985]

My other half is reluctant to have sex these days, but that's due to getting no pleasure from it. She has never been able to orgasam either by herself or with a partner.  She says she can't feel me much because my dick is small so isn't really interested in it.  I do however get hand jobs a few times a month.

[jbird4]

I love my wife.  We have been together for almost 40 years.  We have kids.  My sex drive has always exceeded hers.  But she played along as best as she could.  There are many things I’d love to try but she would say no.   She knows I masturbate.   She is religious and doesn’t like it.   She swears she has never masturbated.  
 

10 years or so ago sex became painful to her.  She was willing to try.  Mostly a little oral and me playing with her or giving her oral.  It has become increasingly rare.  It’s been maybe 5 years since we attempted intercourse. She has begun to straddle my face and I eat her to orgasm and Jack myself off.   I actually enjoy this.  But it’s also increasingly rare. 
 

I Jack off a lot.  I love cam sex with guys and women.   Not sure what that makes me.  I have no intimate feelings with a guy.   I would never hold a guys hand or hug and kiss a guy.   But a handjob is nice.  So is oral.  I have a few Skype friends that like to Jack off with me.  It’s fun.   

[Nillywilly]

I see that I commented in this thread a couple of times, but didn’t tell my story. I’ve been with my wife since 1975. We had an active, satisfying sex life until 2017, when my hip went bad. I hoped that after my replacement operation in March, 2018 and rehab, we would be able to resume activities, but in May 2018 she collapsed with atrial fibrillation, and she hasn’t been the same since. She’s had 4 heart procedures, suffered through an e.coli blood infection last November that led to a month-long hospitalization, and has had idiopathic pruritis (uncontrollable itching) since last June when she had a shingles outbreak. Her skin is so raw I can’t even touch her. She will be 79 in May, so I don’t expect her to get well enough to resume activities.

As for me, I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease last August, and it has become extremely difficult, almost impossible, for me to attain an erection though self-stimulation. I got an Autoblow device last year, but can’t get sufficiently erect to use it, so, for me, nothing, despite my undiminished desire. I do wake up at times with an erection, so that still happens, but if I try to capitalize on that I lose focus and things wilt.

The real difficulty is that while I am her caretaker and have been for three years, I am increasingly in need of care myself and she can’t provide it. We are in a hell of a pickle.

[tiny4inchdick]

You can add me to this list as my wife of 37 years stopped wanting sex a little over 10 years ago...mainly because my dick was too small for her to feel anything anymore. So like the rest of us I just masturbate every morning watching my favorites on xhamster. If you search "Tiny dick cumshot" you'll find me. My handle is fourinches on there. Any comments would be welcome!

[Guest]

On 11/5/2019 at 1:43 AM, shooter said:

I have zero sex life with my wife. .... She doesn't allow me to sleep naked. .... seems she wanna be a mom not a woman.

Waaay late response, but this one hit a chord!  Before our kids were born, my wife and I spent a LOT of time at home in the nude.  And sex was great and spontaneous.  After the first kid, it was only the kid and me naked at home.  Second kids, just them and me.  Third kid - same, just me and the kids.  Then, when the youngest was 3 or so, wife decided none of us should be naked at home.  I didn't see it as a big deal so I agree (now I see this as a BIG mistake).  Anyway, point is, just like with Shooter's wife, mine evidently decided she liked the mom gig, but not the wife gig.  I provided a six-figure income and she used every bit of it.  I just went along with it because of my kids.  Maybe I should've pulled the pin sooner, maybe I should've held on longer.  BUT.... what's done is done.  We divorced, it was VERY rough, but now I'm SO much happier I can't even describe it.  Remarried to a woman who is totally fine with home nudity, even if she doesn't participate much.  But, there HAS to be compromise or it's not a marriage, IMHO.

Shooter - don't let HER opinion ruin YOUR life.  I'm not advocating you divorce her or any other option.  I'm just suggesting that you MUST decide that you will be happy with YOURSELF.  Once that's done - and that IS job one - but once that's done, then you can deal with her as you see fit.  But, seriously, do NOT let her (or any other individual's) opinion of you determine how YOU feel about YOU.  It's been about a year and a half.  I hope things are better for you.

[SloStroker]

13 hours ago, CuriousNow said:

Anyway, point is, just like with Shooter's wife, mine evidently decided she liked the mom gig, but not the wife gig.  I provided a six-figure income and she used every bit of it.  I just went along with it because of my kids.

This is where I am at now. 

Once my daughter was born, my wife ceased being a wife and became a Mom. Sex became VERY rare. No more nudity. Luckily, I've almost made it. My daughter will be 17 this year, so just a few more months and she'll be off to college. Then I will have the leverage to tell my wife that she has the choice of being my spouse and life partner (including sex) again, or I'm going to go find someone who wants the job. Once she can't threaten me with taking my daughter away from me, she won't have any other trump cards in her hand. 

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, SloStroker said:

Once she can't threaten me with taking my daughter away from me, she won't have any other trump cards in her hand. 

A shame that things get to the point of threats, but it happens. . .

[Guest]

On 4/6/2021 at 12:03 PM, jbird4 said:

She has begun to straddle my face and I eat her to orgasm and Jack myself off.   I actually enjoy this.  But it’s also increasingly rare. 

Me too in several relationships, but not the rare part.