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I have had this issue for most of my life and hated myself for it.  My current wife and I have done a lot of things over the years to work on the problem but until the last year or so, things hadn't gotten better with PIV.  I had gotten really good control with manual or oral but still PIV was never more than a minute or two.  I talked to a urologist (actually a woman) who actually helped me.  She prescribed lidocane cream and suggested I put a little on the glan and use a condom.  This would help to reduce the overpowering stimulation that would cause me to cum.  I actually bought some small sized condoms off Amazon (actually a variety pack of small sizes) and we used this about a half dozen times.  I also used some breathing techniques we got from a Tantric coach years back.  It actually made a huge difference.  I have been able to get 10-15 minutes (which is more than enough for my wife, as her hips start to hurt).  I still have the occasion of less than 5 minutes but even then, it is way better than what I used to be.

It can be worked on but it takes both partners to be onboard with working through the problem.  Seek some help, from a good urologist and even from the Tantric community.

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2 hours ago, smallgrower said:

She prescribed lidocaine cream and suggested I put a little on the glans and use a condom.

Creams, ointments, and sprays containing lidocaine are now available over-the-counter (without a prescription) in the U.S.  The reason for the condom is to prevent the lidocaine from numbing your partner.


Alan G

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18 hours ago, RodEnuf said:

Creams, ointments, and sprays containing lidocaine are now available over-the-counter (without a prescription) in the U.S.  The reason for the condom is to prevent the lidocaine from numbing your partner.


Alan G

Correct it is.  My copay on a prescription is less than OTC would have been. :)  As for the condom, it was two fold.  Yes, one to prevent transfer to partner but it also helps to decrease sensitivity for the areas other than the glan but not completely eliminate it.

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On 1/4/2021 at 1:36 PM, RodEnuf said:

Creams, ointments, and sprays containing lidocaine are now available over-the-counter (without a prescription) in the U.S.  The reason for the condom is to prevent the lidocaine from numbing your partner.


Alan G

Would always have to tell my customers that.....or you both end up numb.  When people asked what it is like, I used to do a small spirt onto their finger, then have them rub in on the inside of their lips....

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For me creams and sprays doesnt work at all becuae if I lost sensibility that means I lost erection also. I need to feel the real thing you know.

What worked for me when I was younger: I let my load fly away as it wanted to fly...but doesnt pull out my manhood. instead ...I have started a long session of pushing...which leaded to several orgasms ...and I have enjoyed it very much also ...shooted a bigone at the end. So I have made my first load as a part of foreplay. Thats what I can suggest to you too.

And its not the worlds end when it happens. Just try to keep the flow ...and continue ;)

Edited by shooter
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  • 7 months later...
On 1/2/2021 at 4:48 AM, Nimmo said:

If advice is any use, I'd say you might as well try to enjoy the things you can do - the intimacy and sensuality - and not worry so much about the penetrative stuff. By all means try to resolve it but don't make it into something you always see as an essential missing piece if it doesn't work out. Long term obsessing over real or perceived inadequacies can be corrosive to relationships and usually is.

 

Thank you this advice. We are married now, and our sex life has not improved at all in terms of my stamina and ability to penetrate. However, we enjoy what intimacy we can achieve with each other. Thanks for all the advice guys.

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History lover, you mention anxiety in an earlier post.  There are medications that will help anxiety and delay ejaculation.  Something to discuss with a doctor.

As well, you could put the emphasis on giving your wife oral or fingering her.

At the start of the pandemic my doctor put me on Paxil and it made a big difference.

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On 8/24/2021 at 5:33 PM, smallpei said:

History lover, you mention anxiety in an earlier post.  There are medications that will help anxiety and delay ejaculation.  Something to discuss with a doctor.

As well, you could put the emphasis on giving your wife oral or fingering her.

At the start of the pandemic my doctor put me on Paxil and it made a big difference.

True. Aside from alcohol which I tried to used often over years as an imperfect numbing agent, going onto zoloft, another antidepressant, for purpose of depression initially, resulted in a great side effect. Cold sober I could hold my cum so much better than before.

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The first thing is not to look at it as a life and death problem, that will lower the anxiety, as anxiety is the cause of most of these problems. When I was young I would cum quickly, I did learn some tricks like jerking off before sex, forgoing her sucking my cock before sex, and the old standby thinking of my grandmother naked. If the problem overwhelming, I suggest a therapist who has a cognitive/behavioral  focus. I understand talking to someone is very difficult, it's also important to remember this is a fixable problem. Best of luck

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