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Small Penis Envy


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On 5/29/2020 at 3:01 PM, TinyJock said:

Like you, I've hooked up with women who are turned on by small cocks, not necessarily for purely sexual reasons, but psychological ones. My wife falls into the latter category. 

Well this has made me curious.  Women who are sexually excited by smaller penises I can completely understand.  That's simply a sexual preference.  But you cite "psychological" reasons for female attraction to smaller penises.  Bearing in mind that I have no background in psychiatry or psychology, can you explain this; perhaps provide an example or two?  I'm curious (not just in name only).

Thanks!

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4 hours ago, CuriousNow said:

Well this has made me curious.  Women who are sexually excited by smaller penises I can completely understand.  That's simply a sexual preference.  But you cite "psychological" reasons for female attraction to smaller penises.  Bearing in mind that I have no background in psychiatry or psychology, can you explain this; perhaps provide an example or two?  I'm curious (not just in name only).

Thanks!

I only meant that some women prefer smaller cocks for physical reasons. I dated a girl who very seldom enjoyed sex because most guys were too big for her and sex was just painful. Funny, she was best friends with a girl I'd dated earlier. Her girlfriend had told her I'd be perfect for her. 

On the other hand, some girls get turned on by guys with small cocks for other reasons. There could be a variety of reasons: dominance, control, exposing a man's vulnerability, etc. One woman I dated for a short time enjoyed the domination factor. The sex was just okay. It was controlling a big, masculine dominant guy that turned her on, and a big part of that was my having a small dick. I must admit it turned me on for a short time, but got old fast.

I had a summer affair with a girl just heading off to college. I was in my mid-twenties. On our third or fourth date, we were making out on the living room couch. She was playing with my cock. She looked down and said, "It really surprised me when we first had sex how small your cock is. It's much smaller than I expected, my cousin's boyfriend twice as big." (She was staying with her cousin for the summer; apparently, they'd had a three-way.) After that she teased me all the time about my size. It was some of the hottest sex I ever had. She also would tease me in public. We were standing in line at a small, neighborhood movie theater for a long time and got talking to the couple ahead of us. She said she liked the theater. I said, "I thought you liked the big ones" (meaning the big, multiplex cinemas). She grinned and said, "Oh, you're proof that's not true." The other couple caught on and joined in the laughter. She once teased me in front of two of her high school girlfriends. When we were alone for a few seconds, I complained, and she shot back, "Oh, you love it!' I had to admit she was right. Now, we had great sex, but the point is she (and I) enjoyed her teasing me about the size of my dick. That's what made the sex fantastic. Why that turned her on, I don't know, but it was basically mental -- in her mind -- not anything physical.*

My wife and I are very competitive, in a friendly sort of way. Now we have great sex, but it's not because of the size of my dick. Frankly, for the purely physical side of sex, I'm sure she'd prefer a bigger cock. I'm a big, well-built, masculine guy. I think my small dick turns her on because it makes me more vulnerable, gives her an edge in the competition.

 

* Follow up: After she went off to college, she'd call me occasionally and tell me about her current boyfriend, how much bigger he was, how much better he was in sex, etc. One night she said she really loved me; no guy really turned her on like I did. She wanted to quit college and live with me. Unfortunately (or fortunately), by that time I'd met my current wife and knew she was the only one for me, so nothing came of that. 

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2 hours ago, TinyJock said:

On the other hand, some girls get turned on by guys with small cocks for other reasons. There could be a variety of reasons: dominance, control, exposing a man's vulnerability, etc. One woman I dated for a short time enjoyed the domination factor. The sex was just okay. It was controlling a big, masculine dominant guy that turned her on, and a big part of that was my having a small dick. I must admit it turned me on for a short time, but got old fast.

One of the first women I had an affair with after my 1st marriage broke-up claimed she didn't like large dicks because they hurt.  The implication was she liked me because I was small, but she didn't really say that and soon it was evident that what she wanted from me was oral and often we were skipping intercourse altogether.

When with a group of her girl friends at a bar birthday party, one of them said that I must have a big cock because the 2 of us were together so much.  My "girl friend" exclaimed "accidentally" "No, he's small!" and then covered her mouth.  They all laughed and laughed.

When alone for a few moments with me, the girl who brought-up size apologized for bringingg it up saying,  "I didn't expect that answer.  I thought she would brag about your big dick like she does about her other guys.  Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."  Here face belied her words, though.  She was still having big fun at my expense.

 

 

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@CuriousNow I have a hard time remembering how my mind worked back then that allowed me to continue the relationship. 

I guess I prided myself in being able to "take" that incident, somehow evading the truth about my status in the women's minds as they so dramatically conveyed and just reject the bad motives of her friends.  I guess I was enthralled by how sexually responsive she seemed to be compared to my wife and how generally sexual she seemed to be.  She had roped me in my saying during intercourse, "Ah, I'm cumming on your dick."  I believed it then, but looking back there was no evidence.  Always made me cum, though.

Like other women she always insisted on a lot of oral warm-up during which her pussy got hot and juicy after which she "let me" fuck.  If she got bored, she'd "make me cum".  She would be all smiles when I finally would cum, but not cumming herself.  I guess she did get off on oral.

She eventually turned me off by pushing for MMF sex frequently and how I shouldn't be afraid if my gay side "came out."  She brought one guy to sit with us in a bar who explained how he wanted the MMF to go. . .  I didn't know the word then, but he wanted to be the bull and wanted to be sure I was up for it.  No way.

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On 7/20/2020 at 1:07 AM, TinyJock said:

My wife and I are very competitive, in a friendly sort of way. Now we have great sex, but it's not because of the size of my dick. Frankly, for the purely physical side of sex, I'm sure she'd prefer a bigger cock. I'm a big, well-built, masculine guy. I think my small dick turns her on because it makes me more vulnerable, gives her an edge in the competition.

I keep pondering this paragraph!  What does "competition" mean in this context.  Certainly, not who can make the most money, win an athletic competition, cook better, etc.  Is it, "Who can be the best person."  Who has the highest status socially or in some other sense?  No, I'm not putting my finger on it.

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On 7/6/2020 at 5:46 PM, Nillywilly said:

@JamesD You are giving your experiences a thorough analysis.

I have known several women who have claimed that sex with a well-hung man did not result in orgasm for them. Yet they will all attest that it was “fun”, they “laughed”, they “fucked all night” etc. Asked if they ever complained about being frustrated to their hung lovers, the answer was uniformly “no.” On some occasions I can attest to their climaxes using dildos, extensions, or strap-ons. So I have always held their denials of climaxing as a self-deception.

In clinical terms, this is borderline personality symptomatology, also known as promiscuity, principally among women characterized by casual encounters, high frequency of partners, and high intensity engagement. Curiously, women with such traits CAN make faithful life partners. My wife was this way in her 20’s and early 30’s. I told the story about her trip to Maui over Xmas in the 60’s where she had numerous encounters. She told me many other stories of her adventures, in vivid detail that clearly aroused her in the retelling.

It might be counter cultural for women to admit to liking smaller, so there's an element of conformity (more to do with peer pressure than sex), but we can't just dismiss women who say they dislike big/prefer small and many do. This would never happen with the reverse!. It all comes down to MENS prejudices again.

And this "borderline personality"/promiscuity thing?. I'm aware that there's pitfalls to the lifestyle but come on. I'm not sure when nymphomania was dropped from DSM but it must have gone out with the Vietnam war!. This might be an, ahem, "older man's" site-I'm no 20 something myself-but how behind the times can you be!!.

Edited by bigforsmall
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I have known women who enjoyed big dick sex, but hated the typical arrogance of big dick men, preferring a man for a relationship they could dominate.  It took me way too long to understand that mentality.

Yeah, "borderline personality" seems like a questionable concept to me:  "value laden."

Edited by Guest
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On 7/20/2020 at 1:07 AM, TinyJock said:

My wife and I are very competitive, in a friendly sort of way. Now we have great sex, but it's not because of the size of my dick. Frankly, for the purely physical side of sex, I'm sure she'd prefer a bigger cock. I'm a big, well-built, masculine guy. I think my small dick turns her on because it makes me more vulnerable, gives her an edge in the competition.

Suddenly remembered a niece that claimed she got divorced because "they argued all the time" about who was the most popular or had the highest status in High School.  Probably, that was just the tip of the iceberg.

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I believe many women don’t care How big their partners are as long as the relations ate good and nothing is painful. A small segment of younger women are quite adamant about bigger is better and Pursue black men because many of their have large cocks in addition to being attractive and good lovers, but the lovers part is not about color.   No man envies small penises unless he’s deluded in some fetishized pattern.  I don’t think “bigger is better” is true or false.  It’s perception.   But the wide perception is that bigger is better, all men of all sizes want a bigger coxk, and a bigger cock is more arousing to 85% of men who were shown big and small penises while wearing a Strap to sensitively measure arousal.  So I am wrong but I think bigger is better because bigger excites me more.  I’m not envious at all.  I love my cock. And so in order to honor that I wind up picking partners who enjoy dominating or small big role play.   

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14 hours ago, bigforsmall said:

It might be counter cultural for women to admit to liking smaller, so there's an element of conformity (more to do with peer pressure than sex),

Yeah, I've heard and overheard women bragging out the cock sizes of their men and putting down a peer for being with a small dicked guy.  I guess this is no different than low life guys bragging about their woman's looks and putting down another guys for going out with a less than attractive woman (there are nasty names for the unattractive).

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20 hours ago, uncutonetwo said:

I for one don’t envy anyone with a small penis. It’s like a handicap, I don’t envy anyone to undergo that degrading status. 

Certainly, my small penis has been an extra burden growing up.  Now, as an adult, it doesn't seem to be as much of a problem, but it has certainly shaped my path getting here. I would never curse anyone in HIGH SCHOOL or COLLEGE with a micro.

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21 hours ago, uncutonetwo said:

I for one don’t envy anyone with a small penis. It’s like a handicap, I don’t envy anyone to undergo that degrading status. 

Yes.  A social and physical limitation.

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