Default choice?

[I Didnt Grow Much]

I started this topic because I have never been able to find any reliable data on the subjects of:

1) How many heterosexual or bisexual men choose homosexual relationships simply by default because they have come to the conclusion their small size and experiences with women have left them no choice, other than celibacy, which the vast majority of men cannot be fully sexually and emotionally satisfied by?

2) How many of the same men have chosen, or have forced themselves into the conclusion, that their only option is celibacy due to failures to maintain positive sexual relationships with either women or men?

If someone out there has scientific, peer reviewed data of studies with a large number of these men, I have never found them, but would love to hear about them.

Based on that, I’m just asking you to share your own experience, or the experiences of those you personally know.

My experience is only from two people I’ve known in this situation.

One a heterosexual small friend, actually a college roommate of mine, told me that after all the fun “stuff” we did together in college, no intercourse, it was much easier to decide on a homosexual relationship. He further said it was impossible for him to find another relationship like ours, and he knew celibacy was an impossible choice for him. He is not married, but is in a stable long-term relationship that appears at his age to be likely to continue throughout the rest of his life.

The only other heterosexual small friend I knew  had known for a long time he was bisexual, but almost always preferred women over men. Since puberty, he only had occasional flings with bisexual or homosexual men until meeting a woman who actually opened up new possibilities and activity with both heterosexual and homosexual situations. He currently is in a very open relationship with a woman who has expanded his activities with both heterosexual and homosexual men through MMF, orgies, and swapping. Prior to telling me this many years ago, I never thought swapping might include two men together or two women together. Clearly, my limited experience with urban sexual scenes left me somewhat happily naïve. Ignorance in that case was certainly somewhat bliss.

 

 

[JasonBeam]

I was curious why there were no replies to your question, and I guess I came to the conclusion that to answer it requires some soul-searching. I myself know of no data or research on this subject, so I will try to answer it based solely on my own feelings.

I'm heterosexual and have only had sex with women. Not a large number of women granted, but only women. My last relationship ended in January of this year. My only sexual outlet currently is masturbation, and I'm fine with that.  I take it from your phrasing that you consider masturbation to essentially be celibacy? If I'm wrong in that please correct me. right now, I'm taking this time to work on improving me. 

I will say that enjoy watching porn of men (solo or in groups) jerking off. There's something very primal about it. I really would like to find a local jerk-off buddy, but I don't think I'm interested in it going much farther than that.

I haven't ruled out getting into another relationship down the road, but it would be with a woman. I truly believe that any man, regardless of size, can find a partner, of whatever persuasion, if you're willing to put in the effort. Being average or smaller has nothing to do with it. If you choose celibacy, then that's your choice.

[Barein10tions]

I have stated before that I am bi, but i don't consider myself as a true bi-sexual person. Hooking up with men was originally just a quick temporary relieve from always being horny growing up. Meeting a guy in a park was quick and easy and helped quell the need to get off. It became addicting though, quick fixes multiple times a day over years and years. There was never any emotional contribution to anyone I met or became friends with. This was just sexual urges being fulfilled, my preference has and always will be women ( I love tits, nothing will change this ) but I have also come to love dicks. Although I am much more picky about those than breasts. I can connect romantically with a women easily despite looks being to much of a deciding factor. However I can not do this with a man, not that I haven't tried its just a turn off for me. If a guy asks if I want to JO together pants dow. . .I mean hands down hell ya, lets do this. I love seeing, touching, and tasting dick. But that's where most of it ends. Anal is a bit different that takes time and trust and is reserved for just a few now a days. How I managed not to catch anything through the years was based one 2 rules I always adhere to and luck, pure absolute luck. It is this grace that has probably kept me from getting caught and arrested to.

Now a days Its mostly a lot of masturbation due to current living conditions. And I dont really want to get into another relationship at this time. But when I do it will be with a woman. Unless He has a exotic car collection, than hell ya VROOM VROOM.

[The Jester]

An even more interesting question might be:

 how many heterosexual and bisexual men choose homosexuality relationships simply because their huge size ,leaves them no choice?!.

I suspect the answer will be the same though, r.e size alone,(big or small) doesn't actually make you gay or bisexual...

[I Didnt Grow Much]

Great answers. I still have found nothing online regarding a Study, or anything like it, so I currently don’t believe it exists.

Since I posted it a few months ago, I think quite a few people know about my best friends and I, growing up together and doing whatever felt good. We have always loved each other very much, but not at all in a sexual way, and there has never been any type of “back door” activity. It’s just about having fun and feeling good. It has definitely bonded us together in so many ways. Our wives know about what we do, and say they’ve never seen anything resembling sexual attraction between the three of us. Since we don’t see it, and our wives don’t see it, I think that covers everyone who is important in the situation.

[Appreciater]

3 hours ago, I Didnt Grow Much said:

Great answers. I still have found nothing online regarding a Study, or anything like it, so I currently don’t believe it exists.

Since I posted it a few months ago, I think quite a few people know about my best friends and I, growing up together and doing whatever felt good. We have always loved each other very much, but not at all in a sexual way, and there has never been any type of “back door” activity. It’s just about having fun and feeling good. It has definitely bonded us together in so many ways. Our wives know about what we do, and say they’ve never seen anything resembling sexual attraction between the three of us. Since we don’t see it, and our wives don’t see it, I think that covers everyone who is important in the situation.

...

I guess I can see how you would class it I'm being the same but getting together for a game of handball.  

[Like2Compare]

On 5/22/2026 at 5:58 PM, I Didnt Grow Much said:

1) How many heterosexual or bisexual men choose homosexual relationships simply by default because they have come to the conclusion their small size and experiences with women have left them no choice,

I don't have any data, but I have met one young man that falls in that category based on what he told me.  He was early 20's and we met online.  He said he wanted to suck an older man's cock and invited me to his apartment.  I think I have posted about him before.  He was 3.5 inches rock hard and thin with tiny proportinate balls.  He shot his load after two strokes from my thumb and finger but was still horny and raring to go.

While we are playing around, he tells me that he had sex with three girls that he dated.  He said he couldn't make them cum, he kept "falling out" and he would cum just from trying to get inside them.  Two of the girls ghosted him after sex.  One told him that he was much smaller than the other boys.

He said older men had been attracted to him since he was young and he liked the attention.  Although he would like to have sex with girls, he recieved more sexual stimulation and satisfaction from making a man orgasm and cum...something he thought he could never do with girls.  And it was much easier for him to find an older man interested in him than girls his age.

Before I left, I told him based on the way he sucked my cock, he could easily give a girl a mind blowing orgasm from eating her pussy.  I encouraged him not to give up on girls!

 

 

 

 

Edited July 20 by Like2Compare

[JasonBeam]

8 minutes ago, Like2Compare said:

. . . . but He said he couldn't make them cum

 

 

 

 

I couldn't make my last girlfriend cum, and it wasn't actually relevant. She told me one of her previous boyfriends was hung like a horse ... and he couldn't make her cum either. What made her enjoy sex was the quality of the relationship, not the size of the penis. Yes, some women prefer a man with a large dick, but for the vast majority it simply isn't the key component to a good sex life. 

You want to know how to turn a woman on .. learn to cook. Nothing gets a woman in the mood more than inviting her over and whipping up a great Spaghetti alla Carbonara, she'll be so wet she'll slide off her chair.

[Like2Compare]

16 minutes ago, JasonBeam said:

You want to know how to turn a woman on .. learn to cook. Nothing gets a woman in the mood more than inviting her over and whipping up a great Spaghetti alla Carbonara, she'll be so wet she'll slide off her chair.

@JasonBeam, I agree 100%.  I just started working on my culinary skills about a year ago and can't belive I waited that long.

On a recent date, a lady friend my age and I went shopping, cooked together at her place and enjoyed a great meal.  

When she "slid off her chair" we both had dessert!

Edited July 20 by Like2Compare

[JasonBeam]

33 minutes ago, Like2Compare said:

@JasonBeam, I agree 100%.  I just started working on my culinary skills about a year ago and can't belive I waited that long.

On a recent date, a lady friend my age and I went shopping, cooked together at her place and enjoyed a great meal.  

When she "slid off her chair" we both had dessert!

Honestly, cooking together is the ultimate foreplay. Both my last girlfriends loved to do that. I can't count the number of times I ended up stirring a pot while she was under my apron giving me head. 

Edited July 20 by JasonBeam
grammar

[Ariloulaleelay]

On 5/22/2026 at 6:58 PM, I Didnt Grow Much said:

 

1) How many heterosexual or bisexual men choose homosexual relationships simply by default because they have come to the conclusion their small size and experiences with women have left them no choice, other than celibacy, which the vast majority of men cannot be fully sexually and emotionally satisfied by?

2) How many of the same men have chosen, or have forced themselves into the conclusion, that their only option is celibacy due to failures to maintain positive sexual relationships with either women or men?

...

The only other heterosexual small friend I knew  had known for a long time he was bisexual, but almost always preferred women over men. Since puberty, he only had occasional flings with bisexual or homosexual men until meeting a woman who actually opened up new possibilities and activity with both heterosexual and homosexual situations. He currently is in a very open relationship with a woman who has expanded his activities with both heterosexual and homosexual men through MMF, orgies, and swapping. Prior to telling me this many years ago, I never thought swapping might include two men together or two women together. Clearly, my limited experience with urban sexual scenes left me somewhat happily naïve. Ignorance in that case was certainly somewhat bliss.

 

 

1.   In my experience, well over half of bi people I know who are currently in a long term relationship have it with the opposite sex.   I'd guess it's due in part to society making life difficult on queer folk.   Some have told me as much - not in terms of why they got into the relationship they're in, but why it's lasted so long.   This doesn't mean this like one sex over the other.

 

2.   "Forced themselves ... into celibacy" would better be rephrased as "Stopped trying to find a relationship".   There are some, but most people have a very strong urge for close connection - sexual, emotional, and romantic.   Those urges will force most of them not to remain in that category forever, even if it is a resting point for them.

 

In the past, I would've felt the relationship you describe your friend having as problematic.   Years ago, I came to understand a person cannot be everything for any one person all the time, and it's not a mark of fault to seek an expanded structure like that.   Communicating clear expectations, wants, and concerns are crucial to maintaining one - just like in a traditional relationship.   

[JasonBeam]

On 7/20/2026 at 8:38 AM, Like2Compare said:

When she "slid off her chair" we both had dessert!

Ha, ha ... was she nibbling on your cannoli?