How bad is wearing a sleeve

[Tachyon869]

So my new girlfriend made an offhand comment while shopping at the local sex shop together that maybe I could get a penis sleeve. She picked up a box for one off the counter and showed me it. It said "adds 2 inches length for most guys" on it. I said it looked dumb but she urges me to think about getting it. Does this mean she thinks I am small, and would buying and using this thing actually help our sex life?

[bc_cpl]

I dunno: I use a sleeve when the wife asks for our wants something different for a change. As long as it's not every time, I don't think there's an issue.

[bc_cpl]

Regarding "does she think I'm small", have you asked her? An open discussion might be a good way to move things forward positively - get it out in the open, and figure out what birth of you are thinking. 

I tend to be very forward about dealing with these type of issues and being then head on, rather than letting them cause rot in the relationship where you're always wondering what the other is thinking. You could turn it into a positive discussion about both of your wants, likes/dislikes, and get even closer to her.

[JasonBeam]

2 hours ago, Tachyon869 said:

So my new girlfriend made an offhand comment while shopping at the local sex shop together that maybe I could get a penis sleeve. She picked up a box for one off the counter and showed me it. It said "adds 2 inches length for most guys" on it. I said it looked dumb but she urges me to think about getting it. Does this mean she thinks I am small, and would buying and using this thing actually help our sex life?

Don't overthink it, maybe it just means she really likes you and wants to try new things to get off. Remember, she's trying these new things with you. Let me say that again . . . "With you" 

[bc_cpl]

4 minutes ago, JasonBeam said:

Don't overthink it, maybe it just means she really likes you and wants to try new things to get off. Remember, she's trying these new things with you. Let me say that again . . . "With you" 

100%. 👍

[Tachyon869]

2 hours ago, bc_cpl said:

Regarding "does she think I'm small", have you asked her? An open discussion might be a good way to move things forward positively - get it out in the open, and figure out what birth of you are thinking. 

I tend to be very forward about dealing with these type of issues and being then head on, rather than letting them cause rot in the relationship where you're always wondering what the other is thinking. You could turn it into a positive discussion about both of your wants, likes/dislikes, and get even closer to her.

Yeah, we have talked a little bit. Certain positions work better than others, and she's let me know about that. She mentioned her ex being well endowed one time when we were drunk, and that it kinda hurt her. So I was surprised to hear she was wanting it to feel like I'm bigger now too. But I wonder if she got used to the fullness of that, and I am on the smaller side. So, I guess I may get it and try it out with her. 

[JasonBeam]

20 minutes ago, Tachyon869 said:

Yeah, we have talked a little bit. Certain positions work better than others, and she's let me know about that. She mentioned her ex being well endowed one time when we were drunk, and that it kinda hurt her. So I was surprised to hear she was wanting it to feel like I'm bigger now too. But I wonder if she got used to the fullness of that, and I am on the smaller side. So, I guess I may get it and try it out with her. 

Remember this, she likes you, and she wants to find ways to enjoy better sex with you . . . "With You" 

[I Didnt Grow Much]

Simply put, she would either like deeper stimulation, or to be more full (stretched), depending on the length and girth of the sleeve you are talking about.

The idea this means she thinks you’re too small is shortsighted, possibly on your part, her part, or on the part of both of you. Here are the averages of almost 50,000 men across many ethnicities and countries:  

Erect Length = 4.5” - 5.7”, exact average being 5.16”

Erect Circumference/girth = 3.5” - 4.6”, exact average being 4.05”

Here are the possibilities:

1.  She doesn’t know, but would like to find out, what it feels like to be stimulated deeper in her vagina, or to be stretched more

2.  She has experienced one or both of those before, and would like to feel that again, although this is likely the least probable considering average penis sizes

I felt somewhat odd about it at first, but anytime this thought has popped into my mind, I find re-centering myself on my first principal for sex, with someone else, ends the debate in my head. That first principal is:

If you mutually agree that pleasing the other person first is the most important thing, then everyone enjoys the experience. Most of the time that’s going to be the things you like best together, and the rest being things she might like more than you, and then you might like more than her. Personally, I know that watching the reaction of my wife to what I am doing for her/to her puts my drive into overdrive.

Beyond that, the tie for the most common complaint I have heard from men and women regarding their dissatisfaction with sex is that no one wants to use their mouth, and that there is no variety/boring. Returning to the first principal will solve this issue. When you are each willing to give what the other wants but is not getting, then you both get what you want, which is highly likely what both of you want but haven’t sat down and discussed/agreed to.

[JasonBeam]

In the end, you have to ask someone what they need, what they want, what they would like to try. Don't assume they want someone else, they want you; use your mouth and fingers to get them where they want to go. 

[canuck45]

Sue Johansson, sex therapist, always said communication is so important.  You partner isn't psychic and magically knows what you like best and what does IT for you.

[Boaby]

I have been using sleeves for a couple of years now. Was my idea as wanted to see if bigger was better erc and tbh she is not that much of a fan. Definitely my kink seeing her take larger than me. She enjoys but it can be too big if I'm not careful and doesn't seem any better than me. 

Edited August 26 by Boaby
Additional text

[NuderThanNude]

I've never tried a sleeve because my wife never really needed more depth. In fact if I got to frisky and tried to penetrate her too deep she would complain that it hurt. I could also feel it bottom out inside her and it was uncomfortable for me also.

But even if it was more pleasing physically to her I know there would be a loss of mental stimulation for both of us as it wouldn't actually be a part of my body inside her and more of a fake dildo.

[Pumpkin Eater]

 

1 hour ago, NuderThanNude said:

I've never tried a sleeve because my wife never really needed more depth. In fact if I got to frisky and tried to penetrate her too deep she would complain that it hurt. I could also feel it bottom out inside her and it was uncomfortable for me also.

But even if it was more pleasing physically to her I know there would be a loss of mental stimulation for both of us as it wouldn't actually be a part of my body inside her and more of a fake dildo.

Pretty amazing given your size.  Her cervix must be positioned unusually.  Can you feel it with a finger?  Or maybe that happened only when she wasn't aroused and the vagina not expanded at all?  Or, she could have a retroflexed uterus which means the womb / cervix is held in a different position than usual making it chronically block even shallow insertion.  There are on-line pictures showing how that works.  

https://i.redd.it/29mstphpgc6f1.jpeg

Edited August 26 by Pumpkin Eater

[Pumpkin Eater]

On 8/20/2026 at 2:12 AM, I Didnt Grow Much said:

2.  She has experienced one or both of those before, and would like to feel that again, although this is likely the least probable considering average penis sizes

This might be an incorrect analysis as studies show that the well hung are much more confident and thus much more active sexually.  If a woman has had even a little promiscuous sex dating or at pick-up bars she is likely to have experience larger than average.

Edited August 26 by Pumpkin Eater

[Pumpkin Eater]

My first wife was retroflexed according to her gynecologist.  I felt it only once when for some reason her vagina was very dry and we used a lubricant.  That session ended immediately!  I thought there was something "in there"! 

My dick was too short to break her hymen, too.  Said gynecologist clipped it for us claiming it was unusually tough to save my ego, I think.  He talked to us as a couple and I could detect a smirk when I realized what he was saying, but kept quiet. 

For sure, penetration felt better to me before the clipping!

Edited August 26 by Pumpkin Eater

[Appreciater]

1 hour ago, Pumpkin Eater said:

 

For sure, penetration felt better to me before the clipping!

....

Just wondering if she had a problem.

.......

"Women do not need to have a stretched or flexible hymen artificially opened. A hymen naturally stretches or tears during normal physical activities, sports, or sexual activity, and it does not block the body or require medical treatment to function properly.

 

Hymen Facts

• The hymen is a thin piece of skin around the opening of the vagina.

• It has a natural opening that allows menstrual blood to flow out.

• It stretches easily over time.

• It does not need to be cut or opened by a doctor.

 

When to See a Doctor

• Pain or trouble using tampons can happen.

• A solid membrane with no opening is rare (called an imperforate hymen).

• A doctor can check and treat a solid membrane safely."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 26 by Appreciater

[NuderThanNude]

1 hour ago, Pumpkin Eater said:

 

Pretty amazing given your size.  Her cervix must be positioned unusually.  Can you feel it with a finger?  Or maybe that happened only when she wasn't aroused and the vagina not expanded at all?  Or, she could have a retroflexed uterus which means the womb / cervix is held in a different position than usual making it chronically block even shallow insertion.  There are on-line pictures showing how that works.  

https://i.redd.it/29mstphpgc6f1.jpeg

Thats good information as I never knew any of that. However although it is quite possible that situation could apply I was bigger at the time (near average). Combine that with the fact that she is a smaller frame person I'm guessing her cervix was positioned normally. This only happened when I tried to get deep inside her. Another thing that indicates that part of her body was proportion to her frame size was that the doctor had to cut her vaginal opening some for her to deliver a baby. In addition there was never any mention about anything like that from her gynecologist.

Prior to the delivery she was always a tight fit (diameter wise) for my penis which I loved. But that went away after the delivery and I really missed it even though it didn't hurt my ability to orgasm as I had plenty of mental sexual stimulation. But a disappointment nonetheless.

Edited August 26 by NuderThanNude

[Pumpkin Eater]

4 hours ago, Appreciater said:

....

Just wondering if she had a problem.

.......

"Women do not need to have a stretched or flexible hymen artificially opened. A hymen naturally stretches or tears during normal physical activities, sports, or sexual activity, and it does not block the body or require medical treatment to function properly.

 

Hymen Facts

• The hymen is a thin piece of skin around the opening of the vagina.

• It has a natural opening that allows menstrual blood to flow out.

• It stretches easily over time.

• It does not need to be cut or opened by a doctor.

 

When to See a Doctor

• Pain or trouble using tampons can happen.

• A solid membrane with no opening is rare (called an imperforate hymen).

• A doctor can check and treat a solid membrane safely."

I've read the distance from the opening of the vagina to the hymen varies some.  Me being short and her hymen deeper and on the sturdy side, could have been the cause.  I did use to feel some resistance before it was clipped.  So maybe I was stretching it some, but not enough.  Obviously, if I had a substantially longer penis it would have given way no matter what!  I knew that immediately when he told us.  

Obviously, you should add "usually" to "hymen facts" above.  The gynecologist was very clear in what he said about having to clip it.   It was "tougher than usual".

I was 20 and my penis was still not fully developed either, due to my glacial puberty.  It was shorter and thinner though I never measured out of fear back then.  I'm just under 4" now, but I know from masturbation it was shorter back then. 

So there was that, too.

Edited August 26 by Pumpkin Eater

[Appreciater]

...

Some women can have sex for years and they're hymen has enough elasticity to just spread during sex and shrink back in place after sex.  ...  Giving birth, creates a completely different situation.

 

 

 

Edited August 26 by Appreciater

[Pumpkin Eater]

5 hours ago, Pumpkin Eater said:

 

BTW:  These diagrams show how if the penis is angled toward the woman's backbone it can miss or slide past the cervix if the cervix is held by the mesentery in the "normal" position.  Held in other positions the cervix is subject to head on collision. 

[Pumpkin Eater]

20 minutes ago, Appreciater said:

Some women can have sex for years and they're hymen has enough elasticity to just spread during sex and shrink back in place after sex.  ...  Giving birth, Creator completely different situation.

Ha ha!  Too bad the gynecologist didn't think of that.  My wife complained about some kind of problem with her periods which is what lead to him recommending clipping.  I thought it was weird that he wanted to talk to both of us about it before clipping.  Like I had some ownership?  60 years ago!

Edited August 26 by Pumpkin Eater

[tomishere]

I don't think there's a thing wrong asking her if she thinks you are small. She brought up the use of an extender early in the relationship.So obviously it means something to her. when I first met my wife , the first place we went was a sex store to look for extender or a decent sized dildo. She didn't want to get an extender , because I was too big and there's nothing wrong with someone wanting you to use a extender. 

My size is rather modest and the problem is I can't really fill her all the way. We currently use A8 by 6 dildo  she really the likes that size, and I enjoy entering her and being inside after she's had that large toy in her. I've also used extenders , and they can be very pleasurable for her. Sometimes my girth is under for inches, for a mature woman.That is generally not enough to give her that full end used feeling. Myself, I am small, so it doesn't bother me.If somebody else notices , i'm small , also

 

[Tachyon869]

Update: so we talked some more, and I also bought an extender. While waiting to get it in the mail, there was one day she jokingly went on a spiel about my "thingy being small". I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and honestly couldn't believe she was going on about it out of nowhere. She's kinda random and younger than me, and just says whatever is on her mind. She called it a micro and held her fingers like an inch apart. I said maybe but only when it's soft, and could feel my face turning red. I then told how I knew what I had and that id gotten an extender like she suggested. When it came in the mail here a couple days ago she was like giddy and wanted to use it right away. We did a measurement together after she'd put it on me. I was 6.25" long and 5.75" around while wearing it. She said it basically made me two inches longer and seemed impressed. I ripped her clothes off and she laid back in bed and we did it missionary. She kinda gasped during insertion and said "oh now I feel you". The thing didn't do much for me as I was just sliding around in silicon basically. But she came hard and actually squirted for the first time so I guess we'll keep using it.

[NuderThanNude]

6 minutes ago, Tachyon869 said:

The thing didn't do much for me as I was just sliding around in silicon basically. But she came hard and actually squirted for the first time so I guess we'll keep using it.

That's absolute awesome. I love rearing a success story. It would be expected that you wouldn't get much out of it physically but maybe you can find a way to allow it to stimulate you more mentally. Seeing someone else get off from what you are doing can be a real turn-on. ... or maybe something along the lines as she is getting f'd by the extender you are f'ng the extender and her at the same time.

[Appreciater]

...

.. @Tachyon869...

I agree with Nuder, that it's great you both are working out ways to please each other in your sexual excursions. 👍 ....  You are finding ways to give her greater satisfaction in sex, and hopefully she will strive to do the same for you.