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Penis & Personality


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Hi and welcome. You speak of the affect on your personality. Both because of your perception and because of unkind remarks from others. Is it possible that now it's the personality getting in the way? Might you be presenting yourself in an unworthy light that others pick up on?

 

I'm sure the people here who tell you it's pefrect aren't the only ones on earth. For me at least a penis is secondary to the person(ality). You can't change your penis but you can change your personality. Just a thought.

 

As an after thought. For an anonymous encounter or one night stand I suppose anything and everything is fair game. However, for anything more than that, I certainly wouldn't want somone wanting me because of being smaller or bigger. In the end that would be all there was to it. A relationship built around size can't really be a lasting one. It's the person you have a relationship with, the penis is just along for the ride.

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Well I can honestly say that I have let my small dick affect my personality to such a degree that it makes me sick...Im 4.5 hard and nearly nothing when soft. Men I have chatted with here and other places have told me its perfect and within normal limits, that said I have been at the brutal end of several mens terrible comments. The thing that makes it hard for me is I have a high sex drive and like the idea of sex and want it ..loads of it..ButI dont have the spine to go get it, or for that matter to act as though im hung like a horse and hopefully attract someone..

 

You don't mention how much sexual activity you have or have had in spite of how you feel about your penis. Wondering if you pretty much avoided sex altogether, and, if not, what kind of experiences you have had, negative or positive. By the way, seems we are about the same size though I get even smaller flaccid!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just wanted to chime in and say that I've been hung up on this issue, way too much, for a couple of years now. And before that it was always in the back of my mind but just not as much.

 

In adolescence I was awkward with bad acne and wasn't into any of the right scenes. And from this and also family reasons I was painfully, painfully shy.

 

I didn't really start to blossom until my earlier twenties, when I took on a physically demanding job while in uni. However, during those years I also discovered drinking and thought it was the answer to my social ineptness. Of course it wasn't - I only socialized when drunk. At about 25 I realized (after a series of somewhat self-destructive episodes) I needed cut down on the alcohol.

 

And also there was the one: a painfully gorgeous girl who was my good friend for a couple of summers - who in retrospect likely was interested in the sober-me - but was eventually driven away by my drunken behavior.

 

Where does size come in? Well it doesn't really; I don't how it's influenced my personality. I haven't had a better life or more partners because of it. Only 4 girls have seen/touched it, and I've only had intercourse with one (current wife). That's just a combination of trying to be moral when I was young – but also I was so awkward that I was not really tempted until I was 18 frown.gif Through my early twenties I was a drunken fool until I smartened up and got married.

 

My wife had an affair a couple of years ago - that sent me into a tailspin as far as self image goes, one that I haven't really been able to come out of.

 

It feels good to get that off my chest even if it doesn't make sense. I guess the point is if you look at me now, I'm good-looking, average height, now in excellent shape (took up working out, incessantly, after the affair), quite intelligent, well-paid, and well-endowed. The latter hasn't helped me in my life at all.

 

I've had pretty terrible luck with women. But life could always be worse.

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Welcome geocycle wave.gif

 

I am sorry to hear you have had such problems, but glad you recognise some of it was of your own making. That is the first step to making a change in your life.

 

I hope you can recover from the affair your wife had. Of course I don't know why she did it, but I will say that it doesn't make you less of a man, or less attractive or desirable to women.

 

You are not the first well-endowed man to make the point that bing bigger doesn't solve your problems & I personally thank you for sharing that with us smaller guys. I am learning more all the time that a bigger penis would not make my life perfect, it would however stop the negative comments from some, but would not make my life prefect.

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Well, it was very painful ... but it is ok now. As you suggest, she just connected with someone else emotionally, which for most women is much more important than penis-size ... if size is even a concern at all. I think it's more painful for your spouse to find their "soul-mate" (someone else!) than anything.

 

Like I said life could be worse. I have my health, shelter, and food – so does she. Many in the world do not.

 

I wasted a lot of time concerning myself with attractiveness, and amassed a lot of baggage in doing so. I wish I hadn't; although I sometimes still do. I've only just rounded the corner in life where I can look in a mirror, ponder my height, body, or "size" without getting that sinking feeling in my stomach.

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It seems you are healing from this & that is good. May I ask, did she feel you were less attentive to her needs? It is OK if you do not wish to answer that, I am curious as to her reasons, I am not trying to blame her or you, as often in these situations in can be a series of events at home, or elsewhere that leads someone to seek another partner.

 

You do seem to be showing a more positive attitude towards yourself from what you have said here.

 

Yes, we can often waste time worrying about the trivial things & they can end up becoming an noose around our neck, very hard to free ourselves from.

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Here is my take. Forgive me if this was said already. I didn't get through all the posts.

 

I'm assuming by attitude you mean confidence. If that is correct, penis size has nothing to do with it. Confidence is simply your own comfort level with your own body, personality, lifestyle, abilities, and whatever makes you you. Confidence is not tossing your good qualities in front of someone else to show off. Confidence is being comfortable with yourself so that you don't keep yourself from doing the things you'd like to do.

 

Now, attitude is completely different. If someone with a large penis has attitude, he may walk around like he's the shit, but he's basing all of who he is on his penis. Sorry but that's just not gonna cut it in the long run. You are more than your penis. We've all heard this before. Sorry, but if you have a 10 inch dick and a beautiful body, but can't focus on me long enough to remember what I ordered for dinner, you're done. I fall in love with much more than a 10 inch appendage.

 

If a person with a large dick is cocky, then so be it, but he is short-changing himself in many other areas. He probably doesn't even come close to being able to make someone laugh, which is the one thing over and above anything else that attracts me.

 

Everyone as qualities in themselves that no one else does. Find them and enjoy them. And make people smile and laugh.

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You pretty much hit the nail on the head; it sounds like you are familiar with the language of going through such a thing.

 

One of her biggest needs was to be able to connect with me through conversation and spending (recreational) time together, which I neglected, mostly in favour of work. And that's how it goes, she met someone else who was too much like her.

 

It didn't really have anything to do with what he looked like - although I obsessed over that for a long while, which is natural to do.

 

It seems you are healing from this & that is good. May I ask, did she feel you were less attentive to her needs? It is OK if you do not wish to answer that, I am curious as to her reasons, I am not trying to blame her or you, as often in these situations in can be a series of events at home, or elsewhere that leads someone to seek another partner.
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I wanted to refrain from condemning her, or you, as I didn't have all the facts. Yes, I have been there, more than once, though for different reasons.

 

I can understand her need for time with you & her sadly finding it elsewhere, I am not saying this excuses her or you, I can see both sides in this. I am sure you are right that his looks played less of a part in it than you think & doesn't affect your status & appeal.

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Penis size is a direct link to confidence in my opinion, i think most men who are hung up or down on there penis sizes need to learn to accept it. Take this for instance, next time you are out at a nightclub take a look around and you will see confidence in the making, most well endowed guys will be like John Travolta on the floor, whilst the smaller guys will be standing there staring into oblivion. I am small when flaccid so i usually avoid trying to pull women on the floor because of fear of rejection so i like to try and chat a girl up by the bar and hope we hit it off. I'm not speaking for all males here, i just think it is easy for a guy who is well endowed to say penis size doesn't affect confidence.

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I think you make several valid points Digger. Penis size does affect confidence. I have found, that very generally speaking, that a lot of bigger men can be more that confident, they can often be arrogant & self absorbed, especially in making love. Where as some bigger men are very confident & can therefore feel more able to approach someone who they wish to get to know better. Again this is speaking generally as some bigger men can lack confidence due to their size.

 

I know that being smaller has for most of my life affected my confidence in approaching men, one of many reasons that is. I am still working on my quest to accept my size & I am certainly a lot closer than I was. I have to say Digger you are not that small when flaccid, so I think you too have some inner searching to do.

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I'm not speaking for all males here, i just think it is easy for a guy who is well endowed to say penis size doesn't affect confidence.

 

Yes, I think it it unhelpful and denies real problems the under-endowed really do face. We under-endowed face all the other problems life offers except those specifically relating to being over-endowed. How to be confident without over-compensating or losing awareness or contact or escaping to alcohol in social situations. Many pitfalls. Nobody is going to tell me it is easy or should have been.

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I have to say Digger you are not that small when flaccid, so I think you too have some inner searching to do.

I will be honest, i do need to find myself in a major way, that is fact. My main problem is that i have too much love and not enough recipients to share with. But for god's sake don't get violins yet it's too early LOL.

 

 

[Edited to repair open quote tag.]

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Penis size is a direct link to confidence in my opinion, i think most men who are hung up or down on there penis sizes need to learn to accept it. Take this for instance, next time you are out at a nightclub take a look around and you will see confidence in the making, most well endowed guys will be like John Travolta on the floor, whilst the smaller guys will be standing there staring into oblivion. I am small when flaccid so i usually avoid trying to pull women on the floor because of fear of rejection so i like to try and chat a girl up by the bar and hope we hit it off. I'm not speaking for all males here, i just think it is easy for a guy who is well endowed to say penis size doesn't affect confidence.

 

I agree with all that. Except the small flaccid. 3-4 inches!?! Not small, above average even. Snap out of it.

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I have to say Digger you are not that small when flaccid, so I think you too have some inner searching to do.

I will be honest, i do need to find myself in a major way, that is fact. My main problem is that i have too much love and not enough recipients to share with. But for god's sake don't get violins yet it's too early LOL.

The point is you realise you have issues Digger & are trying to deal with them, that is a positive step. Let me say I am not trying to belittle your concerns. Yes, you're flaccid size is almost as big as my erect size so to me I feel you are very lucky, in that sense you are, but you issues are just as real as mine are.

 

As for love I am sure you will find the right person & she will be pleased with your whole personality not just your penis. Your size will not be an issue to her, so ask yourself why it is still an issue to you & then concentrate on those reasons.

 

I am certainly not saying "You are bigger than me flaccid than I am hard so get over it." If that would work I would say it! Just think about it, who has the problem here. If I say your penis I would be jealous, not as jealous as I once were, & less jealous in a negative way than I once would have been. I would also consider you very lucky & envy you too. Most men are around your size or smaller when flaccid & I remember you saying somewhere you are more concerned about your flaccid size than your erect size, but your flaccid size it not smaller than the majority of men so I wonder why you feel so concerned about it. What has happened to make you feel like that, what has happened, been said, or is this all in your head? WHatever the reasons accept one thing, women will not judge you to be inadequate, or unable to satisfy them.

 

I think many here will be confused as to your issues on flaccid size as Britain is one of the countries that seem to concentrate more on flaccid size than erect size, I for one understand better than some others may, I could be wrong on this & will be the first to admit that.

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I agree with you (fuck, did I really say that just now?) that acceptance is a long hard road and confidence must not cross the line to arrogance.

 

I disagree on the problems the under-endowed face. You did, I didn't. It's not a feature of being small, it's just rotten luck.

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Snap out of it.

 

Hey, pot. Kettle just called. Says you're black.

 

Hi Phelyan! laugh.gif

 

I'll jump in for Stephen here. It seems he has made some good progress here in the last while smile.gifcool.gif Check my member reattachment thread wink.gif

Me!?

 

Looks like it... Other stephen (Caster) hasn't been active much on that thread. shrug.gif

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Snap out of it.

 

Hey, pot. Kettle just called. Says you're black.

 

Hi Phelyan! laugh.gif

 

I'll jump in for Stephen here. It seems he has made some good progress here in the last while smile.gifcool.gif Check my member reattachment thread wink.gif

Me!?

 

Looks like it... Other stephen (Caster) hasn't been active much on that thread. shrug.gif

Then I am even more confused as I thought your post was addressed to someone else Phelyan
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I don't know guys and gals, but I don't think having a large or small penis effects your life any more than you let it and it is certanly not a handicap. I am not my penis. Now I may be a prick but I can live with it.

 

I get it, in Lloyds life... he has made it a handicap, a victom of his own thoughts and perceptions. I have a friend that has a "micro-penis", just under 4" in length and very thin, he is a stud, mainly because he is not his penis and it's what he has and he gave up on being something he's not and focused on what he has.

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  • 15 years later...

I think my penis has a wonderful personality.  He is rather fun to be around and very outgoing.  Sometimes he is the life of the party.  He always tries his best to please people, especially my wife.  Some people might get the impression he is rather shy and reclusive because he always hides his head underneath foreskin, but that is not really the case.  He is very eager to meet others.  He often stands right up and introduces himself to people, even complete strangers.  

What's that?  Oh... never mind. :blush:

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