Human nature?

[Guest]

Reflecting on the way we think as humans I was wondering if any one else has noticed this... I was talking to a friend about her insecurity over her weight ( which I think is stupid she is a gorgeous ) and she saw a woman that was large and said "at least I am not her" and this got me to thinking, is this the normal human reaction? So I have a few question for you all, first when you see a guy who is smaller then you do you feel better about yourself? Also what are the reasons for being in various support groups and such? Is it human nature to feel better about ourselves by hearing that people are worse off? I mean I am not her judging or saying that it is wrong I am just wondering. So I guess I will answer this first... Yes I think I do find a bit of security hearing about people who have it worse then me, I think it is more that I appreciate what I have when I know it could be worse, I am not condescending or anything.

So what do you all think?

[JDA_NE_Colo]

Why do you think some of us watch soap operas? So we know there are people in the world (even if they are in a fantasy world) who have a more f*cked up life than we do!

 

 

To answer in a somewhat serious mode, I have found myself getting into "one-down-man-ship" contests at times. (The reverse of one-up-man-ship.) Meaning that no matter how BAD someone has it, I can show ways that I have it worse! I try to snap myself out of that mode as quickly as possible.

[Fallout]

I think the reason bad news sells better than good news is directly because of the fact people like to hear about others worse off than themselves.

 

As for feeling better if I know a guy is smaller than me, I have to say I feel marginally better. I'm glad I'm larger than he is, but I also feel bad for him, knowing how it is to be small. Of course, there are very few men out there who're smaller than I am, so that situation rarely comes up. Not that I often know what size other men are in the first place.

[Bullfrog]

Schadenfreude. Well documented phenomenom.

 

Wiki Link

[littledoubt]

I guess it's a case of "There but for the grace of God...".

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling better about something if you see someone else in a worse situation. It IS wrong is you start to feel superior because of it.

[Stephen_in_Leeds]

Well all I can say is I am the person people are glad they are not. I have seen worse bodies than mine & I do sometimes think.....I have seen smaller penises than mine which I love as I love peni. Mostly I am the one everyone feels superior to.

 

I have never looked at a woman & said I am glad I am not her though!

[smctguy]

i dont know, all i can say is even with knowing there are people out there who are better and or worse off than myself. I always feel like the smallest, fattest, poorest,dumbest etc etc...I believe that if you take pleasure and or delight in someone elses misery that it will come back to you and be your misery...so i try to not do this

[marsh]

I think it's a good thing to be thankful for what you have. For example instead of thinking "if only I had a x my life would be better" think "I'm grateful I am healthy, have food and shelter and people that love me" instead for example. Amazing how much better you feel to focus on what you do have, and be grateful, instead of focussing on what you don;t and being miserable. No one has everything.

 

I don;t like the idea of saying "well I know that I lack x, but he/she lacks x more so that makes me feel better" though. This is not nice. Probably creates bad karma and will come back to bite you on the arse too.

[marsh]

when HH Dalia Lama was asked "What can people do to battle their own inner turmoil, loneliness, depression, or the everyday bad mood?" he said,

 

"when depressed, one might spontaneously have a thought such as, "I'm completely worthless," but when this thought arises one can actively challenge that thought by objectively listing one's strengths and accomplishments. Or, if one is in a bad mood, that mood can be shifted by making a deliberate effort to "count your blessings," to remind yourself of all the things you have and all the ways that things could be worse, and the people who have it worse off than you."

 

The idea is not to derive pleasure out of the misfortune of others but to recognise your own good fortune by not having these problems. A subtle but very important distinction.

[justice4all]

I think it's a good thing to be thankful for what you have. For example instead of thinking "if only I had a x my life would be better" think "I'm grateful I am healthy, have food and shelter and people that love me" instead for example. Amazing how much better you feel to focus on what you do have, and be grateful, instead of focussing on what you don;t and being miserable. No one has everything.

 

Well said Marsh, you are a very level headed individual.

[Cosmic]

Why do you think some of us watch soap operas? So we know there are people in the world (even if they are in a fantasy world) who have a more f*cked up life than we do!

 

Actually my soap operas show gorgeous people living glamorous lives & having lots of secret sex. Now wouldn't that make some people depressed? Or at least yearn for a glamorous lifestyle( and the nooky too!).

 

In reality one does feel glad that we are not that person who was badly disfigured by burns, missing two legs etc. etc.

 

lol Cosmic