My penis girth is preventing me from ever getting Intimate

[eireturtle]

Hey, sorry if this comes off as a rant but I am at my wits end. I can't stand the size of my penis and it is preventing me from feeling good about myself and getting intimate with anyone because I know they wont be satisfied.

 

Of course, because of dice roll of genetics and other crap, I have a pretty average length of 6 inches. But then of course, because screw me, at the same time, I get cursed with a girth of only 4.8 inches. Before people say "Oh that's still an average girth" oh yeah, at the dead-end bottom of the bell curve. So my penis is practically a sharpee. This is so frustrating.

 

I am terrified from getting intimate because from everything I have seen and read, the vast majority of girls say that girth is more important than length, so most likely I won't be able to please anyone, because they won't even be able to feel it. I am just sick of it. I shouldn't have to compensate with "oh yeah have great oral skills" and "penetration isn't everything". Why on earth could I not just have an average girth?!

 

This is really killing my self confidence because in my opinion it just looks like a pathetic noodle. On top of all that, despite the fact that I live in Ireland, of course I had to be circumcised for no good reason other than "oh yeah you had phimosis like practically every child", so combined with having a pathetic penis, it is also dried out and I can barely get any pleasure from it. To add insult to injury, I can't maintain a strong erection because I have been on SSRI's since I was 12, and no doubt they probably played some factor in making my penis into a pencil by inhibiting growth or some other stupid reason.

 

I am just sick of this. Most guys I have seen are around the same length, but much more girth and it just makes me feel worthless. Especially since girth is vastly more important in terms of pleasing women. And I know some people may say "oh well sex doesn't mean everything in a relationship" but it is crushing to my self esteem when I won't even be able to please anyone because of some arbitrary crap I can't control.

 

Sorry for making you sit through this but I legit am at the end of my tether, I don't have much going for me looks wise and on top of that I had to be cursed with a pencil. Plus I don't even know why I am writing this because there is no way I can change anything. It's too late to undergo hormone therapy, all the 'penis enlargement' products are big scams and there is nothing I can do.

[smallgrower]

Sorry you feel this way. I could only wish for a size like you. At 4.75" length and 3.75" girth, you are way bigger. Trust me when I say I am no looker either. That said, I have had 3 long term relationships and size hasn't been an issue. I even had PE issues so the amount of time is typically less than 3 minutes.

 

What I have found is women are more interested in confidence and overall skills, not just size. None of the women I have been with would have ever orgasmed with just penetrative sex. I have brought all of them to multiple orgasms with oral and manual skills. After they have had 2-3 that way, penetration with my dick is more for my benefit as they are very satisfied.

 

Women are much more about the whole experience, sexual and emotional. Find the emotional connection and the sexual one will find itself.

 

Hang in there...

[eireturtle]

Thanks for the reply. And while I appreciate your honesty, I still feel somewhat down. I have never had any sexual contact with anyone and it is all because of how I perceive myself. I feel like I am not good enough.

 

To be honest, I think the root of the problem is women themselves. They are so cruel and do not understand what it is like for us. I recently watched a documentary about penis sizes, and all the women said they wanted some 8' x 8' inch monster and anything else was small and they would laugh at it. Even to the point where a guy that was 7'long and 6' around (which is massive)resorted to surgery to make himself feel better. In the operating theater the nurses laughed at how 'small' they thought it was.

 

My fear is that because women are so cruel, no matter what I do I will never be able to truly please a woman. There will always be something wrong with me and she will probably always leave me for some guy with a 9 inch dick because women are so superficial. Who knows, maybe if I was born gay I would have been happier. Society is just ridiculous the amount of pressure they put on us.

[topdog]

Hi honey.

 

I really get that you're down, and unhappy about the size of your penis, and yes, it does sound like it's a slimmer one.

 

I think you are wrong about women though. In the same way you wouldn't reject a women because of having smaller boobs than you'd ideally like, and would surely be more interested on whether she was fun to be with, enjoyable in bed, and generally sexy, there's no reason to think that many women wouldn't feel the same way about dick size.

 

The example of a few stupid women on TV with hopelessly unrealistic ideas about dick size (and, to quote my friend Ben, 'Good luck finding one like that, your highness!') and other people performing for the camera, doesn't mean all women are like that, any more than the many men on TV being incredibly mean about the smallest flaw in a woman's appearance represent the majority of men in the world. We don't all marry Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie!

 

Actually I suspect that most women are even LESS appearance/size oriented than men, because there are so many other things women need to be concerned about: the very real threat of sexual danger, of vulnerability, of being left pregnant by some uncaring bastard etc. I'm not saying sex is consequence-free for men, but the consequences tend to be more dire for women, and factors like being a nice guy that they feel safe with will count for more than yards of cock!

 

I realise a penis isn't the same as breasts, its actively used during sex, but even then, remember the pocket rocket (which is smaller than you) is the most popular size vibrator, because it gets to all the bits that matter!

 

Most people who specify that they need a certain dick size to satisfy them have no idea about sex or how to have fun with someone. Even though I have a biggish dick i would avoid someone like that like the plague - they're obviously a judgemental idiot who will be clueless in bed. Best avoided all round, I think.

 

Find someone nice who likes you and you want to have fun with and who feels the same way about you. Then, whether you're on the slim side or unfeasibly large, you'll find a way of making it work - people always do!

 

Btw, I don't know if a compliment from a gay guy is of any use to you, but your dick sounds really nice and I'd be up for fun with it if you ever decide to play for the other team!

[spectra]

Eireturtle, we could practically be penis twins. I'm about 6.3 long and 4.7 girth. I know that I've been through a similar series of thoughts. Our perception of how our size is distorted as I'm sure you know, but here's the thing I've learned, if you are thicker than a finger then you can pleasure a women. As the others have said, it's far more about technique and confidence. Which takes a while to build but the guys here are great to talk to. You can't let media and the like (especially porn) determine your ability to get intimate. You are worth it, and you can be with whomever

[eireturtle]

Thanks for the replies, I was sort of on a rant and wasn't thinking straight. I guess I should just be happy with what I have

[Red Scott]

There's a few problems with your concerns, and I know exactly how you feel because I've been there and it begins to consume your every waking thought. So please take note of the following:

 

You're just 18, you haven't necessarily finished growing yet.

 

4.8" is NOT the bottom of the bell curve for average girth, that my friend is closer to 4.25"

 

You've been comparing your girth to others, girth is difficult to judge when comparing due to angles and unless you happen to be really thick you will nearly always appear to have less girth.

 

Because you are depressed about this the anxiety of it is actually compounding what you see as an inadequacy and your brain through "dysmorphia" is seeing it as thinner than it actually is.

 

What you need to do is stop thinking about it and don't let it stop you from having sexual relationships, your girth is nothing unusual and like many of us is simply not a thick one, it's not thin either, it's just a normal one.

 

I suggest you do this exercise, get some string and a ruler, and you must be very precise with your measuring here. Starting at 4.25" cut a piece of string to this length, at increments of 0.25" cut more pieces until you get to 5.25" Over this is into "thick penis territory. Join each piece at each end and shape into a circle. Arrange the circles randomly in a circle (not lined up in size order) and you will see that there's actually not much difference in the various circles. Then tell me that simply by comparing with another guy you'd be able to detect one that was either thicker or thinner than your own.

 

I hope this helps, you are suffering needlessly my friend so get shagging!

[toadfish327]

You should be very happy with what you have and a lucky lady will also be happy with your cock. You are longer and thicker than me, a lot younger too. I was circumcised as an infant. I can usually get my wife off 3 times without much effort. I have made her cum up to 7 times in one session, mostly from oral and fingers. It is not the end of the world not fitting into what is considered "normal". Don't let that hold you back, especially while you are young.

 

Not sure about the SSRI's causing you erection problems, but I would bring it up to the doc that prescribed them.

 

Best of luck and please keep us posted, inquiring minds want to know.

[Guest]

Hey eireturtle, 

 

 

I want you to pay close attention to what I'm about to say: A vagina is the most accommodating part of the anatomy there is! It's like a wetsuit. You will be so surprised that I hope you will forget all about girth once you are intimate. Remember, it has to be accommodating for all it does. And there's nothing like it.

 

I think comparing is about the worst thing we men do. But we do it. But in the bedroom, it's just you and her. And that, my friend, is all that matters. Unfortunately, the more your brain resorts back to comparisons, the more frustrated you get. But sex is so much more. It's exciting thinking about the first time! Hopefully you'll think you've died and gone to heaven!

 

As far as the string thing Red suggested, I wouldn't do it. No offense Red, but what purpose will it serve? Your SSRI's have nothing whatsoever to do with the penis growth. At 18 you might could possibly gain some girth, but maybe not. But you are right about the fact that you can't change it. It's easy for me to say "accept it." I'm not you. But one more little tidbit of interesting facts to look forward to. Are you aware of how much larger your penis gets when you are so excited inside a woman and about to cum? You will be so surprised man.

 

Good luck to you. You have so much excitement ahead of you, and I hope you enjoy every second of it!!!

 

Luke

 

[canuck45]

A few things caught my eye in your 'rant'

 

You say nothing can change....

And you say your perception...

Women want 8X8...

 

 

True you penis size may not change,but how you look at it can. Perception.

 

Woman want bigger...is that an absolute truth or your perception, possibly based on misinformation?

 

As someone mentioned, being with a partner can result in a harder slightly larger erection. \

 

I know depending on which partner I am with it makes a difference with me.

Jerking off its like, yeah ok. barely 5" long....but when a good friend its WOW at least 5.5 LOL

 

Don't know which show you watched but 8X8 and anything else is small. BTW one chart based on womens answrs says anything over 7.5girth is undesirable.... so who ya gonna believe...sheesh.

 

Work on the perception, the hard numbers are fine.

 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2016 by Guest

[dtw1942]

You should be aware that puberty does not always cease at 18. Many guys experience additional growth into their early 20s, especially girth.

 

There are also methods to increase your girth. Check out Thunders Place and the PEGym.

 

From what I have read, 99% of women don't care if you have an "average" sized dick. For the 1% that do, shouldn't be a concern for you.

[Red Scott]

The string exercise is to show a range of sizes across the average girth scale in 1/4 inch increments. It let's you see how little difference there is between the increments and how difficult it can be to detect size differences in girth when comparing with another. You don't have a circle in front of you when comparing you have a three dimensional image that you can't see every aspect of at a given moment.

[Guest]

I "speed" read that, Red. My bad. I understand fully now. Thanks.

 

Luke

[Restoredude]

My erect girth truly is a bell curve going from about 4.5" at the base of the shaft to a little over 5.5" at the thickest part.

https://imgur.com/HgSlmNT

[Brennick89]

There is actually some advancements in girth injection fillers It seems its more easier to get more girth results with injections than length but the downside is they aren't cheap and of course are temporary where you have to keep going back if this problem REALLY is an ongoing issue for you but in all honestly you still sound very average to me and not even lower average more like middle range average with the girth. You are fine! your problem is more between your ears rather than between your legs.

Don't listen to immature braggers either they are full of s**t at that age "I've had more girls than you've had hot dinners!" or "My penis is huge it scares girls!"  Just b.s.

Also, you could clear this up once and for all for yourself by taking an hour (or more) of a professionals time who specialises in cases of perceived body dysmorphia/hang-ups/phobias who could tell you in an unbiased fair setting where you stand and whom is no stranger to doing these sorts of things for young men who are equally confused and anxious over their manhood. By seeing a doctor or medical specialist who would measure you out and confirm you are well within the normal size spectrum It might seem not a big deal to do but many normal guys I have talked to have more closure and confident certainty about their size after it had been properly measured and medically verified as being average in this way. A doctors official stamp that you have nothing to worry about relieves a lot of stress.
 

Edited April 21, 2019 by RodEnuf
Combined two consecutive posts by same user.

[Pinkie B.]

On 12/22/2016 at 4:16 AM, spectra said:

Eireturtle, we could practically be penis twins. I'm about 6.3 long and 4.7 girth. I know that I've been through a similar series of thoughts. Our perception of how our size is distorted as I'm sure you know, but here's the thing I've learned, if you are thicker than a finger then you can pleasure a women. As the others have said, it's far more about technique and confidence. Which takes a while to build but the guys here are great to talk to. You can't let media and the like (especially porn) determine your ability to get intimate. You are worth it, and you can be with whomever

You know, I've got something to add to that with my recent experiences.

Guys who have "big dicks" (i.e. they think they do. I personally don't care) can fall into the trap of thrust-thrust-snooze. That's not good sex, but if you think it's all about the dick and you think your dick is all the rage, then it's easy to think that you don't have to pay attention to what's going on or what your partner wants and just grace them with the presence of your monster cock.

I much prefer a partner who pays attention and gets into the moment. The sexiest thing about my boyfriend is that when he's inside me he loses control of himself and you can see it on his face that he's deep in the moment and I get to lay back and enjoy the show and ride the wave. I haven't measured his penis, but it's definitely the opposite of what I would have thought I wanted: downard curve, short-ish length (but still within average) and slender. But it's turned out that not only do I have more satisfying sex with him than with anyone I can remember, now I can't even fantasize about the more traditionally desirable thick-and-long.

So, I guess the takeaway from my experience is that every person is unique and it's the experience of that person's uniqueness and sincerity in bed that makes sex enjoyable. Whatever skills or body parts you're bringing to the table are a great help to get into it, especially when everybody is traditionally attractive. It makes it easier to get started, but you don't have far to go before it's you personally and your partner personally that really start to matter.

Edited April 23, 2019 by Pinkie B.
you're-->your

[Restoredude]

20 hours ago, Pinkie B. said:

I much prefer a partner who pays attention and gets into the moment.

I agree 100%. I have been with MANY guys since I was a teenager. In my younger years, being a sub bottom, I couldn't get enough. Guys would come over, shoot their load in me and leave. I was basically addicted to sex, an open hole available to anyone and everyone. So much that I would have multiple guys every day. Several years ago I met a guy who showed me what a real relationship was. We would spend hours in bed hugging, kissing and making love. Sex was awesome, but just a small part of the whole picture. Since then. I'm much more interested in the relationship and honestly, size DOESN'T matter at all.

[Tsoren]

In the "Land of the Thin Penis", I am tsoren, their king.  If I suddenly woke up with 4.8 inches of girth, I would think that I had won the lottery.  

It is too bad the young man who originally started this thread doesn't appear to still visit the site.  So many people have provided very good thoughts and encouragement.

I know exactly how he feels.  I felt the same way.  I was afraid to date a woman because of my worries about my lack of girth.  In fact, if this certain woman, who is now my wife, had not asked me out, I may have never dated.  But for whatever reason, whether it was my great personality, dashing good looks, extreme wealth, or my humbleness, we hit it off.    

I think we men obsess much more about our penis than women do.  A good sexual relationship is about so much more than a penis and vagina.  As @Restoredude said, it is all about the relationship and honesty.  The sexual pleasure will be there for both parties if we are open and communicate what we like and don't like and truly love the other person.  And I have found that my wife gains a lot of pleasure from simply being hugged and caressed and having "sweet nothings" whispered into her ear.  

 

Edited April 24, 2019 by Tsoren

[Red Scott]

Regardless of whether you have, or think you have a girth or length deficiency or even both, you will find there's always techniques to get around these so that you both can have and enjoy very fulfilling sex!