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CenturyChild

Why I think "nearly average" can feel small

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So this essay has been on my mind to write for a while. The thought started back in May this year, when I was taking part in an outdoor training course. At the end, we showered, and all 12 participants including me showered together. I was able to observe that my penis was clearly the smallest of the group. The closest to mine was almost the same length as mine, but much thicker. Everyone else's was, as far as I could tell, bigger in both length and girth "“ some by a little, some by quite a lot. I wondered how likely it was for that to happen, given that I have been assured over the years that my 3.0 inch flaccid penis is not that much smaller than average (around 0.6 inches smaller in fact).

 

I decided to do the math to work out the answer to that exact question. It turns out that even at just 0.6 inches smaller than average, only 1 in 7 guys have a smaller flaccid penis than me. In a group of 12 people (me and 11 others), there is a 1 in 5 chance that mine would be the smallest, and a 1 in 2 chance that there would be no more than one smaller than mine.

 

In nude situations not only am I often disheartened by how few penises there are that are smaller than mine, this is made worse by how much bigger the biggest are (often up to 2 inches bigger), compared to how small the smallest are (often similar or only slightly smaller).

 

This week in the gym lockers I saw the longest and most perfect looking penis I have ever seen. The way it flopped about it was clearly not even a semi, and it was already bigger than my erection! I looked down at mine and thought "What. Is. The. Point?"

 

I've often thought that the reason guys like me who are 'not that much smaller than average' feel small is because, in real life, we never get to compare with an 'average' penis, instead we get to compare with lots of different ones. The only comparisons we have are "how many are bigger / smaller?" and "how much bigger / smaller are the others?". I thought it would be interesting to take two made-up 'nearly average' guys, and look at on average:

How many guys have smaller penises?

How many guys would they have to compare with for it to be more likely than not that they are not the smallest of the group?

 

In a room of 10 other guys, how many would be bigger/smaller, what are the chances that they are the smallest, and how much bigger/smaller would the biggest/smallest be?

 

Let's look at Mr Average (3.6 inches), Fred (3.1 inches, 0.5 inches below average) and Bob (2.6 inches, 1.0 inch below average): (I hope that these simplistic graphics are acceptable on the forum, if not I apologise, and please remove them).

 

1512263606-1.PNG

 

Mr average:

  • Around 1 in 2 other guys will have a smaller penis than Mr Average, and he would only need to compare with 2 guys for it to be more likely that he's not the smallest of the group.
  • In a room of 10 other guys he'd expect 5 to be bigger and 5 to be smaller.
  • There would be a 1 in 1000 chance of him being the smallest.
  • The smallest would typically be around 1.0 inch smaller, while the biggest would be around 1.0 inch bigger.

 

Fred:

  • Around 1 in 5 other guys will have a smaller penis than Fred, and he would need to compare with 3 other guys for it to be more likely that he's not the smallest.
  • In a room of 10 other guys he'd expect 8 to be bigger and 2 to be smaller.
  • There would be a 1 in 10 chance of him being the smallest.
  • The smallest would typically be around 0.5 inches smaller, but the biggest would be 1.5 inches bigger.

 

Bob:

  • Around 1 in 20 other guys will have a smaller penis than Fred, and he would need to compare with 13 other guys for it to be more likely that he's not the smallest.
  • In a room of 10 other guys he'd expect them all to be bigger, with more than a 1 in 2 chance that he's the smallest.
  • The biggest would typically be 2.0 inches bigger "“ almost double his size!

 

So I think that the reason guys who aren't much less than average can feel small is because in real life they don't compare with 'average', they compare with a real range of sizes, and they don't have to be too much less than average for them to experience 'being the smallest', 'being closest to the smallest', and 'the others being much bigger.

 

I can illustrate this using me as an example.

 

Here I am compared with 'average':

 

1512263610-2.PNG

 

Doesn't look that much different, right?

 

Here I am in an average group of 12 people (including me):

 

1512263619-3.PNG

 

I would say that to an observer, they all look sort of similar. Not exactly the same but similar enough that nothing leaps out as 'huge' or 'tiny'.

 

But here is what I see in my head (and this is uncannily like my locker room experience at the start of the post, save for the fact that in real life I was the smallest rather than 2nd smallest):

I see that within this group I am the smallest, or as-near-as-makes-no-difference to the smallest, but the big guys are a lot bigger than me. I am sure that other guys experience this too.

 

1512263623-4.PNG

 

There is also the minor point of self selection to add in to the mix"“ it's generally accepted that smaller guys are on average less comfortable with being seen nude, making it less likely to see the smaller ones, and exaggerating the figures above slightly more in real life. (in fact, in my gym, I have seen ones similar to mine, but very very rarely smaller, so I'd say around 3 inches is the 'less comfortable' cut off point)

 

Takeaway for me personally - it turns out I would need to compare with 5 other guys for it to be more likely than not that there is at least someone smaller than me. It stands to reason that whenever I have been nude amongst small groups of friends (skinny dipping, showers and the like) mine has been the smallest, often by some way. Worth thinking about before getting my kit off "“ if there are fewer than 6 of us in the group, it's more likely than not that I'll be the smallest! And on average the other guys would be up to 1.5 inches bigger "“ one and a half times my size.

 

 

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post-81711-15204864829861_thumb.png

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The Topic: <a href="http://www.measurection.com/fusionbb/showtopic.php?tid/272500">Why I think "nearly average" can feel small</a> was moved from <a href="http://www.measurection.com/fusionbb/showforum.php?fid/26">small-X-change - MAIN FORUM</a

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I have never seen anyone smaller than me in the locker room. This is because I am very small flaccid and guys who frequent locker rooms tend to be above average as locker rooms are embarrassing for the small. I am 1/2 to 1" in the locker room and 4.5 hard.

 

You are way over complicating things.

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<<

1 In a room of 10 other guys he'd expect 8 to be bigger and 2 to be smaller.

2 There would be a 1 in 10 chance of him being the smallest.

>>

 

If we were to look at perfect distribution (which it appears you are implying in line 1) and if there were 11 guys total, the chance of him being smallest is 0 as the first line states.

 

In real life the perfect distribution would probably be a rarity. The 2 smallest guys wouldn't be naked changing in the change room in the first place ergo Mr Average feels he has the smallest penis in the world because his limited observations shows everyone is larger. LOL

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If we were to look at perfect distribution (which it appears you are implying in line 1) and if there were 11 guys total, the chance of him being smallest is 0 as the first line states.

 

In real life the perfect distribution would probably be a rarity. The 2 smallest guys wouldn't be naked changing in the change room in the first place ergo Mr Average feels he has the smallest penis in the world because his limited observations shows everyone is larger. LOL

 

Yep, assuming a perfect distribution. The lines should be read as "on average..." , so on average there will be 2 smaller, sometimes more, times less... with there being a 1 in 10 chance of there being none smaller.

 

And yes, that's exactly my point - even at 0.5 inches below average, when self selection is added into the mix isn't not uncommon for someone who is not that much smaller than average to be 'smallest'.

 

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What a great illustration! I really love how you literally illustrate, but also describe the different ways in which guys can experience their relative size.

 

"Average" is not really a useful term to people who are not statisticians. Most of us want to feel like "average" means "normal" but the studies usually mean "50% of people are above and 50% are below" or "divide the total length by the total people and this is the number you get" -- neither of which actually means "this is normal." Some studies do try to do better by providing a range called average (a confidence interval) which will usually mean that 90-95% of people will fall in that range. It feels more like what we think of when we think of what normal is, but you lose something by offering a range.

 

I also really like your illustration with the 11 other guys. I can say, based on posts people have made here, that a lot of guys do like what you said: they check if they're the smallest and they check how much bigger the biggest has on them. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's that latent competitive fear that the guy with the big dick is going to steal your lover away from you. Maybe it's subconscious sado-masochism where you torture yourself by finding the worst counter example to why what you have is enough. I don't know.

 

But anyway, I think this is a seriously wonderful article! Thanks for posting!

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I stopped comparing to other guys in changing rooms a long time ago, simply because I know how much the optical illusion distorts what we see and that's followed by a distortion on your self esteem! It's not worth it! Yes, I'm still not happy with my flaccid size, yes it embarrasses me sometimes, but what I do know is one guy whom I see head on who looks much larger, is actually around the same size when viewed beside me!

 

It's much better to think of a size "range" rather than a particular size and it's much better to concentrate on yourself and not compare that to others!

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While the numbers for average are all over the place, the Grower/Shower stats are a lot more vague.

 

Seen dozens & dozens of soft cocks over the years & struggle to recall the few that similar to mine.

 

Typically though, as I guess most other guys with small flaccid cocks tend to be more conscious/modest when naked in change rooms.

 

The 4 guys I played squash with for example; all 3 1/2, 4ish out of the showers; while the moment the water went off & the chill immediately set in I could be my 1 1/2 at max in the chill of winter.

Probably safe to say they never got a glimpse of my cock; timing; towel etc...

 

As far as hard cocks are concerned, probably seen half a dozen during the times in the Swing Scene.

 

2 of the guys barely grew 1/2", both about average or a bit above.

 

2 others hung ok & grew maybe 50%, easily over 5" hard & probably getting up there towards 6".

 

1 guy was pretty much my hard size soft, and easily a 7+ on MrsG's 2 hand measure.

 

By comparison, I'd easily double from an initial mild hard on, & then still grow some more when I got really rock hard.

 

But all in all it's the long term soft size that relationship that goes mostly to how I identify myself on the cock size scale.

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I am definitely a grower. My flaccid is usually "turtled up" to under 2" so I usually compare terribly in a locker room or shower. I have only seen a "live" erection on two or three occasions. AccordingIy, I find it a waste of time to compare my dick to anyone else's.

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This is an interesting post, with great graphics.Unfortunately, there stats here are off.3.6 is indeed the average flaccid size, but the poster says " many I see are larger"This would mean 5+",and (unless your sample is from bdp or lpsg) this is unlikely to say the least.

 

A 5" flaccid penis is in the 99.83rd percentile, and in a room of 1000, only 2 would be bigger on average.

 

What is far more likely is that a lot in the sauna or locker room SEEM this size, even though they aren't.There are a number of reasons for this.Firstly, there can be a " cognitive drift" in men to see every dick as bigger, particularly if they themselves are average or smaller.Secondly, we only ever see our own penis from a perspective that shrinks it.In porn photos are often taken from below, and if we are gay sub/switch, we see dicks up close, e.g.during oral.Here even a 4 dick looks huge and powerfull- far bigger than ours be it also 4" or 8". Even if we are straight, in the locker room we might be sitting, or peer in close.Also we need to remember that flaccid size varies, and is no indicator of erect size.You could be 3" flaccid, and 6+ erect.

 

Personally my flaccid size ( max) is larger than any mentioned here, 6+. There is no great advantage to this,except for show:dicks this size can be awkward, and often have erection problems too as we age.Even purely as a show piece,at times I fail the test, and seem small or thin both to myself and others.Again, actual size varies, and percieved size all depends on the angle of view/ light and perceptions of viewer.

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In a room of 10 other guys, how many would be bigger/smaller, what are the chances that they are the smallest, and how much bigger/smaller would the biggest/smallest be?

 

I recently had a few days off work and decided to take in some early morning swims at the local pool.

 

After swimming some laps and taking in the steam room I decided to head home. I stripped down and took a quick shower then walked back to my shower completely naked to grab my shampoo. There was about 12"“15 Asian men in the shower and locker area who seemed to know one another. Upon return to my locker I noticed that I was the smallest man there. I walked back to the showers to wash my hair and got chatting with a friendly guy in the showers. He was quite happy to bring up the topic of cock size and I conceded to him that I was much smaller.

 

My flaccid cock tends to retract and I am typically less than an inch flaccid and often smaller. I am always the smallest cock in the locker room.

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What a great illustration! I really love how you literally illustrate, but also describe the different ways in which guys can experience their relative size.

 

...

 

But anyway, I think this is a seriously wonderful article! Thanks for posting!

 

Glad you enjoyed - hopefully useful for some people, and willing to update if people can provide better / more up-to-date research :)

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I stopped comparing to other guys in changing rooms a long time ago, simply because I know how much the optical illusion distorts what we see and that's followed by a distortion on your self esteem! It's not worth it!

 

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself...Strive to be happy.

 

Yep - I am sure not suggesting anyone does go out and compare themselves, just hopefully trying to illustrate why some of us feel as we do when we do compare (intentionally or subconsciously).

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This is an interesting post, with great graphics.Unfortunately, there stats here are off.3.6 is indeed the average flaccid size, but the poster says " many I see are larger"This would mean 5+",and (unless your sample is from bdp or lpsg) this is unlikely to say the least.

 

A 5" flaccid penis is in the 99.83rd percentile, and in a room of 1000, only 2 would be bigger on average.

 

What is far more likely is that a lot in the sauna or locker room SEEM this size, even though they aren't.There are a number of reasons for this.Firstly, there can be a " cognitive drift" in men to see every dick as bigger, particularly if they themselves are average or smaller.Secondly, we only ever see our own penis from a perspective that shrinks it.In porn photos are often taken from below, and if we are gay sub/switch, we see dicks up close, e.g.during oral.Here even a 4 dick looks huge and powerfull- far bigger than ours be it also 4" or 8". Even if we are straight, in the locker room we might be sitting, or peer in close.Also we need to remember that flaccid size varies, and is no indicator of erect size.You could be 3" flaccid, and 6+ erect.

 

Personally my flaccid size ( max) is larger than any mentioned here, 6+. There is no great advantage to this,except for show:dicks this size can be awkward, and often have erection problems too as we age.Even purely as a show piece,at times I fail the test, and seem small or thin both to myself and others.Again, actual size varies, and percieved size all depends on the angle of view/ light and perceptions of viewer.

 

The data I have used is derived from this study - http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bju.13010/abstract

 

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On 12/6/2017 at 5:01 PM, Red Scott said:

I stopped comparing to other guys in changing rooms a long time ago, simply because I know how much the optical illusion distorts what we see and that's followed by a distortion on your self esteem! It's not worth it! Yes, I'm still not happy with my flaccid size, yes it embarrasses me sometimes, but what I do know is one guy whom I see head on who looks much larger, is actually around the same size when viewed beside me!

It's much better to think of a size "range" rather than a particular size and it's much better to concentrate on yourself and not compare that to others!

The challenge should be to eliminate your "dick size" competition obsession, not convince yourself you are competitively hung.

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@JamesD A good observations has lots of detail.  only someone with a disorder would see it as compulsive and obsessive.  my remote amateur psychology analysis.  YOu must get invited to lots of parties....

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My penis always seemed small in changing rooms etc but as I have gotten older, had more partners and realised I am a grower and usually have no idea how long any strangers penis is erect I have stopped worrying about it. This was also helped by a period of illness when I was pretty helpless and it seemed everybody who wanted to had the chance to look, wash, shove tubes down it and generally mess with my genitals (wouldn’t recommend this as therapy though). I know it’s not easy but try and relax enjoy what you have and have fun with it. 

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