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Help, Dating a Small Man and Need Advice


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Thanks, Fredneck. That is so true!

On the Extenders, I have tried some girth sleeves and actually experiencing filling up a girl and her enjoying the size IS worth the loss of sensation...

Well, I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with him.

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Afterglow, Jim53, that's been a really good exchange. I like the tone both of you have taken.

 

Afterglow, I do understand how tough it is to find a good match. My own belief is that for me, at least, a physical sacrifice (my woman being flat-chested) is more than a trade for having the rest of the match a good one.

 

There's another thread here about whether a mother should communicate with a son about his cock size. I think if you marry this man and have a son or sons, your communication with them on the subject will be very important. I believe that communication should take place, but if your sons pick up a dissatisfaction on your part with a small one, that will be a problem if they have small ones.

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Thanks again for your feedback. And thanks for not accusing me of being stupid, shallow or some man coming here to taunt you guys!
Your'e very welcome. I love the way you keep sticking up for your guy against the discouraging comments, including mine. I hope things turn out well for both of you.
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Well, I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with him.

A woman falling in love with a guy with a small cock ... We should all be so lucky. cool.gif

It happened to me twice. For better or worse things didn't work out long term either time, but both times they contacted me wanting to get back together after being married for a few years to a guy with a big one. Maybe size is not the be all end all that I sometimes get it in my head to be.

 

Thanks for your comments Bill. I enjoyed the exchange, too. If you're out there, afterglow, please keep us posted!

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I will keep you posted. And believe me, this is not at the top of most women's lists of qualities in a mate. It's only if it severely interferes with enjoyment that it's an issue--and I hope one that can be dealt with. And I don't think most women are as sexually carnivorous as I am. I discussed this with a friend who insisted, "Size doesn't matter." She actually dated a guy with a penis she described as "clitoral." He might have been a hermaphrodite. She didn't care. He broke up with her because HE was worried about it. But years later he's happily married to anotehr woman. Emotional and intellectual compatibility are more important. It's just that I want it all. Even if sex is 10%, it can be a deal breaker. I hope it won't be, though. And just because a relationship doesn't work for, this might not be why. Half of all marriages fail. If you find one that lasts, you're just part of the lucky half. And in my experience, if a guy with a small dick makes up for it by being emotionally sensitive, attentive, generous, caring, etc. he will probably get the girl in the end. Not always, but often. And the woman will likely be a rpize too. Someone who values inner qualities is someone who will stick around when you get sick with cancer, when you're old and wrinkled and too tired to pop Viagra anymore anyway.

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A therapist (a woman) once offered the opinion that if a couple's sex life was good, it was only 10% of the relationship, but if it was not good, it was 90%. While this kind of thing can't really be quantified, I agree with the general idea. It reflects my life experience.

For me, no amount of being sensitive, caring, and so on helped; they just told me they wanted me as a good friend, but not as a sexual partner.

Afterglow, you have me very interested in your relationship's progress.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi, just wanted to give a quick update. I still haven't ordered the extenders. Went through a rough few weeks emotionally. My guy and I were apart during that time, and I was dealing with some other stuff making me really angry and upset. In any case, when I saw him again, I channeled all of that energy into sex with him. And we had the best sex so far. He put me on a different planet, even though I didn't orgasm vaginally during intercourse. I felt high afterwards. He still gave me exactly what I needed without any help--by taking total control. I needed to get out that energy and be dominated a little by him. And now that we know each other better sexually and have had some time to practice and get comfortable, he gets that. The next day, we did use a dildo after the first couple orgasms. I think I had six in total, which is pretty great. I think I'm just finding there are ways around this size issue. It's not insurmountable. I still do wish I had the feeling of depth from him during intercourse that I can get with a dildo, and I brought up extenders again for that reason. But I think he has the confidence now he can please me and won't see it as a threatening thing that we need to rely on. We've had great sex without it. He knows he can please me. And I feel good knowing that too. Oh, and we finally said, "I love you."

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Great to hear things are going well with you and your boyfriend. I am interested in extenders too and had started a thread about it:

Three Extra Inches ...

I think initially I might have been looking at them from a point of view of insecurity but now I am doing much better and just think they might be a fun extra toy to have around some time.

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Great to hear things are going in a good direction, afterglow. I'm happy for you.

 

Maybe if the size problem is in a context with so many other good things, it can be worked around, as you say. It sounds like maybe you were getting a kind of emotional size, so to speak, from his more dominant attitudes. That's cool, or, I should say, hot. smile.gif

 

Maybe just my take, and perhaps not applying in your case, but I've always felt that the size issue transcends the purely physical sensations. For many women, at least, I think it symbolizes masculine power and strength, or the lack thereof.

 

Good luck to you guys and thanks for the update.

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  • 14 years later...
On 4/15/2006 at 1:42 PM, afterglow said:

Thanks, I do think size represents masculinity and that was a factor. There is a physical component, but the brain is the biggest sexual organ. And having him be dominant really helped.

Was there ever a report on how all this turned-out?

Ya still around, AfterGlow?

Edited by Guest
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20 minutes ago, 6INCHES66 said:

I doubt if she is still around .  Last visited this site. March 2006.

 

LAST VISITED

March 8, 2006

Woops!  I thought I saw 2015. . . .!   I thought maybe I was pushing it for 2015!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I realize that this is an old thread and 'afterglow' may not still be around. The first thing that crosses my mind is I wonder how this worked for her although I believe I know the answer.

The second is something that I really have a hard time with (and I read this same thing a lot) and for the life of me I cannot understand. That is, how sex can be such a priority for a lot of people in marriage? Even to the point of ending a marriage. I cannot imagine that these people have any idea about what true love really is. A lot of people think they know when they are in love but they haven't a clue which is why so many marriages end in divorce.

I dated my wife for 3 years before I was confident that I really knew her and that she wasn't just putting her best side forward so she could get married. We all have a tendency to do that with someone who we are trying to impress. Over that time I fell deeper and deeper in love with her. We were/are soulmates in the truest sense. When I proposed to her I knew that I wanted to spend every second of our remaining lives together. We have been married 40 years now and we love each other more than ever. We are still soulmates and best friends. We have become 'one'. So much so, that being mean or hurting her is like doing it to myself and I can tell it is the same for her.

The ironic part is that my wife and I have always been somewhat opposites regarding sex. I developed an interest in sex at an early age and sexual enjoyment was a very big part of my life. My wife on the other hand could take it or leave it. She enjoyed sex but it wasn't a priority for her. We didn't have sex several times a week like most couples but when we did it was/is awesome. To fill the gap for me I found things that I could do to keep myself mentally sexually stimulated such as masturbation and body modifications. Therefore, I never found a need to cheat on her. After all nobody knew me or my body and what stimulated me best than I did. That's not to say that the uniqueness of having someone else provide that stimulation wasn't awesome.

The point I am trying to make is that true love and emotion should be the priority in marriage and not sex. The reason is that if our love is true it will last as long as we live. However, sex is dependent on physical characteristics that can change over time without our control. For example, before having children my wife's vagina was tight and I got a lot of physical stimulation from penetrating her and I can only assume it was the same for her. After she gave birth to children that was never the same. Nevertheless, our love was so strong for each other that when I was inside her, just the thought of that coupling of our bodies and that closeness was/is enough for each to orgasm easily from the mental sexual stimulation it provided. Other things have changed physically for us during the years that have changed the way we physically enjoy sex but the emotional part is always strong enough to make up for it. We enjoy sex as much now as when we first met but just in different ways.

...and if sex became impossible for us, our love for each other would remain and be all we need.

Edited by NuderThanNude
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