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Who would agree that the forums, whether it’s the small-x-change (main) or 4.5 and under,  or any of the other forums on Measurection, has really helped them with their own self-esteem and or self-confidence? Describe the experience/story below :

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  • Guest changed the title to Forums-self confidence

Well I joined over 20 years ago.  I felt my small penis would mean almost no sex life and I was one of a few cursed in the world.....EVERYONE probably had a bigger dick than me. 
SURPRISE
Thousands of guys with the same concern....first revelation OMG I AM NOT ALONE.
Someplace I can share my fears, failures and read about a few HAPPY small dick stories.
AND IT GREW (not my dick, the community of support) 
A seed was planted...

My cock isn't small, its on the low side of the range, or it is smaller than some (but then again it is bigger than others), reframing

It isn't a competition, my cock doesn't define masculinity, it doesn't define me.

Self-esteem is built on your own opinion of yourself, how you see YOUR value to the world or whatever.

Self-confidence only comes with trying and succeeded or trying and learning, building on past experience

Re-evaluate:
Self-esteem:
Excelled academically from Grade 1 on through university
Completed two degrees even though come from a disadvantaged family and constant obstacles
On every job I was appreciated and did very well
People call me "friend"
People actually like me
I can only do my best, if it isn't good enough for someone else, well who are they to judge.
I can do my best and if I AM NOT SATISFIED, I can learn and do it better.
I am a decent person

Self-confidence:
Returned to university after 20 years of heavy drinking, does my brain even work,  passed with 3.92GPA in my first program and 4.0 in second diploma  YEAH
Most everything I have tried, succeeded at.
To my every problem there is a solution AND I WILL FIND IT and usually do.
People trust my suggestions (advice), have been labelled a wise man by some
Received accolades from professors at university.

Look at this a little more objectively and
WOW you know something, I am doing OK, I have had successes.

Life isn't about competing against others, its being who you are and enjoying your time here.
Life's pleasure comes from living today and everyday to its fullest.
If basic needs have been met everything else is a bonus.

When I learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, everything started to come together.
I have food, shelter
I have safety
I have friends, jobs, a community (OMG I AM NOT ALONE)
I have self-esteem
I have actualized my existence, my place and meaning to life in the universe.

Part of the 3rd level was joining this community: support, friendship and no more secrets.
Secrets eat at your soul.

So did I gain self-esteem and confidence through this site. 
Yes, it helped,  it expanded my knowledge (through real people and not just a textbook saying something)
It showed me new ideas, it was a nudge to instigate change in my thinking..
CHANGE in myself, my ideas, my concepts, my values.
Did this site provide all the answers, NOPE not at all, but it raised questions within myself.
Who, what, why, how...
WHO am I
WHAT defines me
WHY do I see the world as I do.
HOW do I change the internal narrative.

and then I became a counsellor/facilitator, helping people to help themselves, and right back to high school, where I  tutored struggling people, a 31 year circle. 

Life is a struggle and we all have challenges, if you face the challenge you have succeeded in life.

As you think, so you speak
As you speak, so you act
As you act, so you become

Change your thinking and you become ????

People make millions selling this in self-help books and Confucius?, Buddha? (not Bruce Lee) had it down pat 2500 years ago.
New Age Books, rewriting the ancients and making money (oh the sin of greed)
Law of Attraction, an entire book on a 3 line philosophy

AA helped too.  Regrets and resentments suck the soul from your life, keeping bitterness and anger alive, who needs that.
And Edith Piaf, Non, Je ne regrette rien

So, this site helped me change my life by giving me a nudge and helping me changing how I think.

If someone makes a disparaging remark, today I can just smile and think, You poor soul, defining yourself by cock size, how sad.
Somewhere along the way I forgot, but this site reminded me

Sticks and stones
Can break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

As I think, not as you think.....

Enough babbling for now.

Edited by canuck45
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My friend, Bravo

 

Your post is an inspiration. It inspires me

And yeah, a decade or so can teach you alot about who you are, and more importantly what your body "actually is"

To be perfectly honest, this can at times mess with ones head, you mind sees the change in the world , and in you, and perceptions get muddled,

You think...wait...wasnt I actually like "this"

Well no, this is the real you, your more like this....

Support through things like this can help for sure. People can sometimes do be like this, well think one thing for the longest time...then one day that person shows you that they were worse or better than you had previously thought, or "imagined them". And this can really take us by surprise.

But in terms of the penis....you would be surprised there are actually alot of pornstars who are your size range canuk. I say thnigs like that alot, but I happen to know this is a fact.

That being said great post, you give hope to everyone here.

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  • RodEnuf changed the title to Forums - self confidence

I enjoy chatting and posting here, it's been an education hearing so many people's experiences and worldviews. Has it helped my self confidence, absolutely. Although on paper I am average, probably a little above, it's sometimes hard to shake the idea of being small, especially when you see a few bigger guys walking about. The reality is that you remember the exceptions, not the norm, and when I think back to times when open showers and nudity were common in changing rooms, we were all very much alike.

About 10 years ago I also started going to naturist clubs/swims/beaches when I could. Again you see the vast majority are average, it's a good environment to be in, nobody stares or cares how you look. Most people are overweight if I'm honest, and I'm among that group. I should worry more about a belly than penis size!

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2 hours ago, new2day said:

I enjoy chatting and posting here, it's been an education hearing so many people's experiences and worldviews. Has it helped my self confidence, absolutely. Although on paper I am average, probably a little above, it's sometimes hard to shake the idea of being small, especially when you see a few bigger guys walking about. The reality is that you remember the exceptions, not the norm, and when I think back to times when open showers and nudity were common in changing rooms, we were all very much alike.

About 10 years ago I also started going to naturist clubs/swims/beaches when I could. Again you see the vast majority are average, it's a good environment to be in, nobody stares or cares how you look. Most people are overweight if I'm honest, and I'm among that group. I should worry more about a belly than penis size!

Yep, most are average for sure. 5 inchers or 6 inchers, and theyve all had the same concerns

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I found the forum helped show me, not only was I not alone but pictures (after I paid membership) of smaller to average guys.  Given how most all porn shows large, hung guys or the smaller ones they do, is centered around SPH (which I am not into), it was nice to see the representation of smaller to average guys, just in a normal setting.

I do feel we are underrepresented in the media and are like an invisible group.  I am on FetLife (Kink/BDSM site) and so much of pics/videos posted are hung guys (some really huge ones).  I do read a number of posts by women, who love small penises, who feel they are more comfortable, easier to suck, etc.  It is great to hear there are really women (and there are many men who say that as well) but it is never represented in the pics/videos.  I feel like sure, you might say it but you don't show it.  It also seems like there are more women then one might think who do like the smaller guys but if in a group of women, would never openly say that.

Until we can find a way to show this invisible group of men, as a common and normal thing, we will always be looked down on in the media and society.  It is just disheartening at times.

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I’ve taken the attitude that my small penis size is what it is and as long as it works fine that is all I need.  I’ve been confident being naked in the locker room and shower room in my life with my one inch flaccid penis and small balls in my tight scrotum.  I would like to think I’ve brought some other guys to a level of being able to be naked with a small penis in the locker room when I’ve walked around totally nude from the locker to the toilet and shower room and when I see them another day to be in the locker room and they come into and shower when I’ve been in there.  I really haven’t seen anyone smaller than me flaccid but some the same size or up what looks like 2 inches or so. The only thing I wish I had was to have my dick jiggle when I walk.  Mine just stays in one place. One guy I’ve seen several times in the past has about an inch and a half sized penis and it’s pretty thick.  He walked around naked and his penis constantly jiggled when he walked  - it was very noticeable!  I looked at mine in the mirror - nope don’t have it! 

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In my case, my wife helped me in gaining confidence about my penis.  While I was very concerned about lack of girth, she absolutely adores him.  And that definitely makes me feel good.  Do I still have insecurities?  Absolutely.

This site has helped me to realized that many of us, no matter our size, have that little concern in the back of our mind of whether we measure up.  And that even comes from guys who I think are quite big.

As my wife will say, "You guys worry about those things way too much."  And she is right.  As others have stated, our penis certainly does not define who we are.  And when it comes to love making, our penis is just a small part (no pun intended) of what we bring to the bedroom.

One area this site has really helped me with is talking with others about our past or even current experiences, that my be out of the mainstream.  It is good to know there are others out there who share those desires and that you are not alone.  And it has helped me to accept and understand myself more.

So thanks to all of you.

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I'll say it again.  If you have a partner who enjoys you and your penis regardless of size, then you should be thrilled.  What good is my 7 inches doing me?  Please believe me when I tell you, AGAIN, I'd happily relinquish some inches for a wife who desired it.  Plays well with self.  That's moi.  

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 I’ve been aware of that my penis and testicles are abnormally small for a long, long time. And while I probably will never really get over being embarrassed and self conscious about the small size of my penis and testicles I find it helpful, as well as sometimes sexually stimulating, to occasionally chat with and exchange ideas with other guys who might be dealing with ‘small penis issues’ similar to the ones I am dealing with. This site certainly helps me cope with some of my sexual issues. It gives me an outlet to confess some of my feelings and past experiences that I really could not tell anyone that I personally know. Measurection affords me that opportunity. I’m glad I found this site. Thanks guys.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 10/17/2021 at 1:40 PM, canuck45 said:

Well I joined over 20 years ago.  I felt my small penis would mean almost no sex life and I was one of a few cursed in the world.....EVERYONE probably had a bigger dick than me. 
SURPRISE
Thousands of guys with the same concern....first revelation OMG I AM NOT ALONE.
Someplace I can share my fears, failures and read about a few HAPPY small dick stories.
AND IT GREW (not my dick, the community of support) 
A seed was planted...

My cock isn't small, its on the low side of the range, or it is smaller than some (but then again it is bigger than others), reframing

It isn't a competition, my cock doesn't define masculinity, it doesn't define me.

Self-esteem is built on your own opinion of yourself, how you see YOUR value to the world or whatever.

Self-confidence only comes with trying and succeeded or trying and learning, building on past experience

Re-evaluate:
Self-esteem:
Excelled academically from Grade 1 on through university
Completed two degrees even though come from a disadvantaged family and constant obstacles
On every job I was appreciated and did very well
People call me "friend"
People actually like me
I can only do my best, if it isn't good enough for someone else, well who are they to judge.
I can do my best and if I AM NOT SATISFIED, I can learn and do it better.
I am a decent person

Self-confidence:
Returned to university after 20 years of heavy drinking, does my brain even work,  passed with 3.92GPA in my first program and 4.0 in second diploma  YEAH
Most everything I have tried, succeeded at.
To my every problem there is a solution AND I WILL FIND IT and usually do.
People trust my suggestions (advice), have been labelled a wise man by some
Received accolades from professors at university.

Look at this a little more objectively and
WOW you know something, I am doing OK, I have had successes.

Life isn't about competing against others, its being who you are and enjoying your time here.
Life's pleasure comes from living today and everyday to its fullest.
If basic needs have been met everything else is a bonus.

When I learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, everything started to come together.
I have food, shelter
I have safety
I have friends, jobs, a community (OMG I AM NOT ALONE)
I have self-esteem
I have actualized my existence, my place and meaning to life in the universe.

Part of the 3rd level was joining this community: support, friendship and no more secrets.
Secrets eat at your soul.

So did I gain self-esteem and confidence through this site. 
Yes, it helped,  it expanded my knowledge (through real people and not just a textbook saying something)
It showed me new ideas, it was a nudge to instigate change in my thinking..
CHANGE in myself, my ideas, my concepts, my values.
Did this site provide all the answers, NOPE not at all, but it raised questions within myself.
Who, what, why, how...
WHO am I
WHAT defines me
WHY do I see the world as I do.
HOW do I change the internal narrative.

and then I became a counsellor/facilitator, helping people to help themselves, and right back to high school, where I  tutored struggling people, a 31 year circle. 

Life is a struggle and we all have challenges, if you face the challenge you have succeeded in life.

As you think, so you speak
As you speak, so you act
As you act, so you become

Change your thinking and you become ????

People make millions selling this in self-help books and Confucius?, Buddha? (not Bruce Lee) had it down pat 2500 years ago.
New Age Books, rewriting the ancients and making money (oh the sin of greed)
Law of Attraction, an entire book on a 3 line philosophy

AA helped too.  Regrets and resentments suck the soul from your life, keeping bitterness and anger alive, who needs that.
And Edith Piaf, Non, Je ne regrette rien

So, this site helped me change my life by giving me a nudge and helping me changing how I think.

If someone makes a disparaging remark, today I can just smile and think, You poor soul, defining yourself by cock size, how sad.
Somewhere along the way I forgot, but this site reminded me

Sticks and stones
Can break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

As I think, not as you think.....

Enough babbling for now.

Thank you for sharing. Even as an early 40s guy, Im a work in progress in this area and it helps to hear from fellow guys here about their own issues, struggles, solitions, etc. as we continue to navigate through our own lives and the challenges and hardships that come and go. Thank you again :)

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On 10/17/2021 at 8:40 PM, canuck45 said:

Well I joined over 20 years ago.  I felt my small penis would mean almost no sex life and I was one of a few cursed in the world.....EVERYONE probably had a bigger dick than me. 
SURPRISE
Thousands of guys with the same concern....first revelation OMG I AM NOT ALONE.
Someplace I can share my fears, failures and read about a few HAPPY small dick stories.
AND IT GREW (not my dick, the community of support) 
A seed was planted...

My cock isn't small, its on the low side of the range, or it is smaller than some (but then again it is bigger than others), reframing

It isn't a competition, my cock doesn't define masculinity, it doesn't define me.

Self-esteem is built on your own opinion of yourself, how you see YOUR value to the world or whatever.

Self-confidence only comes with trying and succeeded or trying and learning, building on past experience

Re-evaluate:
Self-esteem:
Excelled academically from Grade 1 on through university
Completed two degrees even though come from a disadvantaged family and constant obstacles
On every job I was appreciated and did very well
People call me "friend"
People actually like me
I can only do my best, if it isn't good enough for someone else, well who are they to judge.
I can do my best and if I AM NOT SATISFIED, I can learn and do it better.
I am a decent person

Self-confidence:
Returned to university after 20 years of heavy drinking, does my brain even work,  passed with 3.92GPA in my first program and 4.0 in second diploma  YEAH
Most everything I have tried, succeeded at.
To my every problem there is a solution AND I WILL FIND IT and usually do.
People trust my suggestions (advice), have been labelled a wise man by some
Received accolades from professors at university.

Look at this a little more objectively and
WOW you know something, I am doing OK, I have had successes.

Life isn't about competing against others, its being who you are and enjoying your time here.
Life's pleasure comes from living today and everyday to its fullest.
If basic needs have been met everything else is a bonus.

When I learned about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, everything started to come together.
I have food, shelter
I have safety
I have friends, jobs, a community (OMG I AM NOT ALONE)
I have self-esteem
I have actualized my existence, my place and meaning to life in the universe.

Part of the 3rd level was joining this community: support, friendship and no more secrets.
Secrets eat at your soul.

So did I gain self-esteem and confidence through this site. 
Yes, it helped,  it expanded my knowledge (through real people and not just a textbook saying something)
It showed me new ideas, it was a nudge to instigate change in my thinking..
CHANGE in myself, my ideas, my concepts, my values.
Did this site provide all the answers, NOPE not at all, but it raised questions within myself.
Who, what, why, how...
WHO am I
WHAT defines me
WHY do I see the world as I do.
HOW do I change the internal narrative.

and then I became a counsellor/facilitator, helping people to help themselves, and right back to high school, where I  tutored struggling people, a 31 year circle. 

Life is a struggle and we all have challenges, if you face the challenge you have succeeded in life.

As you think, so you speak
As you speak, so you act
As you act, so you become

Change your thinking and you become ????

People make millions selling this in self-help books and Confucius?, Buddha? (not Bruce Lee) had it down pat 2500 years ago.
New Age Books, rewriting the ancients and making money (oh the sin of greed)
Law of Attraction, an entire book on a 3 line philosophy

AA helped too.  Regrets and resentments suck the soul from your life, keeping bitterness and anger alive, who needs that.
And Edith Piaf, Non, Je ne regrette rien

So, this site helped me change my life by giving me a nudge and helping me changing how I think.

If someone makes a disparaging remark, today I can just smile and think, You poor soul, defining yourself by cock size, how sad.
Somewhere along the way I forgot, but this site reminded me

Sticks and stones
Can break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

As I think, not as you think.....

Enough babbling for now.

 

So did you manage to feel ok when you are ridiculised or denigrated because of it?

Because I think about all things I have and everything I have accomplished (I'm pretty successfull to be honest) but that doesn't seem to have any value in that moments. Not for me, but for others as well.

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I don't think this forum has done anything in my professional life, but when it comes to the bedroom, it is comforting to know that there are lots of other guys out there who also have a small penis. It does not make mine grow, but at least I know that others have similar shortcomings and I am not alone.

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5 hours ago, RonaldU said:

So did you manage to feel ok when you are ridiculised or denigrated because of it?

Because I think about all things I have and everything I have accomplished (I'm pretty successfull to be honest) but that doesn't seem to have any value in that moments. Not for me, but for others as well.

No, it won't stop the momentary negative feelings, but then self talk has to kick in.  Had/have satisfied partners. "Normal", this guy is a jerk, 

Do you engage and make a comback? I never have, I just smirk and shake my head.
Combacks?
And why do you care about my penis size?
OMG Youre not one of those "macho"  neanderthals,  that actually think penis size makes the man.
it works and my partners are all satisfied.
"Real men" ..... real men don't need to compare penis size, pissing contests are for idiots and morons.
 

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23 hours ago, canuck45 said:

No, it won't stop the momentary negative feelings, but then self talk has to kick in.  Had/have satisfied partners. "Normal", this guy is a jerk, 

Do you engage and make a comback? I never have, I just smirk and shake my head.
Combacks?
And why do you care about my penis size?
OMG Youre not one of those "macho"  neanderthals,  that actually think penis size makes the man.
it works and my partners are all satisfied.
"Real men" ..... real men don't need to compare penis size, pissing contests are for idiots and morons.
 

But you must have met some people who knew you were average, there seems to be a broad population of girls who see 6 as the average, but then there seem to be a more mature group of girls and wemon who know that  5 inches and up to 5.5 or so are the most common seen. Im sure you saw that along the way. Its not at all that you arent normal, its that wemon all have expectations that are scewed not towards the norm. You are a good human being from what i can discern.

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The most eye opening thing for me was going to see when I joined here.   Has it really been 16 years?

I have never lacked confidence.  I would say I even had a false sense of security.  I never was that worried about my dick size.  My wife seems to like it.  But we never had as robust of a sex life as I wanted.  I think I thought we would be having sex all over the house - On the stairs, the kitchen, the floor, the shower…

well it never was really like that.  Then kids.  Then work.  And before you know it you are trying to barter for a few minutes after everyone goes to bed.  Then I guess I just got used to jacking off.  Then the internet explodes with whatever images/stories/videos you can think of and some you’d never thought of.  Then late night after everyone is in bed I am up jacking off on an early webcam and some young guy makes fun of my little dick.   Then I start noticing.  It’s not just the porn stars that are huge it’s even all these random strangers.   Maybe I am small.  I measure.  I think the combination of age and fat pad took me down to 4ish.  Now I am thinking maybe I am small.  So I start googling am I small? Well various versions of that question.  Which leads me to Measurection in 2005.  Then I realize that lots of guys are Smaller.  Most are ok with it.   Some are a little fucked up about.   Pretty much like everything else in life.  
 

So for like 16 years off and on, sometimes a lot sometimes a little I have read and shared and chatted.  It’s been mostly fun. 

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At 45 I am definitely more confident than I was at 30. I think that my penis size has defined the outer me in many ways, but we will never know.

Today I can hapily walk up and down a nude beach and not a care in the world. But it's taken many years. I was more let down in confidence by my weight. There was a time I stepped on our digital scales and it just said ERROR and that kinda changed things for me. Since then I put effort in to lose weight and get healthy. (The scales I found out went to 20stone13lb and it took 3 months of dieting before it would register my weight. At 15st8lb I'm still overweight but pound by laborious pound it is coming off. Last year I lost 3lb in total. It goes up in winter down in summer etc. but that cut in gut (poet here) gave me more confidence than my insecurities on penis size. I also think I have gone from a  zero to 1/2 inch soft to a full inch or more soft having cut the weight too.

Long story short I think that going to nude beaches and cutting weight has given me 1000 times more confidence.

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Hey you put the weight on slowly (you didn't just wake up one day and jump from 12 stone to 20 stone) so it will come off slowly too.

I am lucky, I can go for a 1/2 walk a day and in a month will shed 5+ lbs without doing anything else.

20 stone 13 315lbs
15 stone 8lb   220 lbs

ME 5' 10" currently 12 stone 3 lb
 

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