Actual Small Penises - My Opinion

[smallgrower]

So I have been visiting Measurection for a little while, mostly reading a lot of what other post up.  I have tried to share some info or experiences but one thing keeps coming back to me and I felt I needed to share.  Now keep in mind, this is MY opinion and my view.  It is not to say that how others feel about their penises is not valid or have no place here.  I am not pointing to anyone specific or any specific posts but in a general from of what I read.  That said, it seems there is a lot of differences of opinions of what an average size penis is.  It seems the most reliable study say the average size is 5.1" length and 4.75" girth.  Some say this is too low and other "unscientific" studies say it's closer to 6"x5".  For this post, lets just say the typical average falls into this range.

That said, my size is 4.75"x3.75" erect and just a nub when soft, which definitely falls well below this range, especially on the girth measurement.  Now getting to why I am writing this.  Measurection seems to be geared towards the support of small penises.  Even this sub forum name is small-X-change.  It even has a sub forum that is for those below 4.5" in length.  It kind of makes me wonder what the hell anyone larger than 6"x5" is doing discussing small penises or even think they are small.  I understand how body dysmorphia can lead someone to think their 7" or larger penis is small, especially when you try to compare to what seems to be all over porn but come on, do your even understand what it is like to be in the shoes of someone who is definitely below the average range and in cases well below?  Do you think your 7", 8, 9" long or your 5.5", 6.0" or thicker penis has any relation to how someone in my size range or even smaller feels about an actual small penis size issue?  We actually HAVE a small penis, not the thought that our penis is small when clearly it is well above an average range.  Do you know what it is like to not be able to buy condoms at a store because they are all too large?  I by no means am saying that people with small penises are not worthy or any less of a person but I seriously find it insulting when someone with a 7" penis tries to pass themselves off as having a small penis, heck even a 6" penis for that matter.

My opinion is anyone who are larger than 6"x5" really try to imaging the difficulty, the mental toll, the fear of ridicule, the fright of the idea someone might see their small penis.  Now add that most smaller guys are really small when non erect which only makes an already difficult issues that much worse.  Take a minute to pause and really grasp the idea that if you are 6"x5" or larger, YOU are NOT small.  Are their men with larger penises, hell ya but come on be realistic, you are NOT small.  I am small.  I deal with this every day, the feeling never goes away.  Some days are better than others but it's always there.  There is really nothing I can do about this, this is what life gave me.  I did not ask for this, I did not want this but it was the hand I was dealt.  For larger men, stop the loathing of "being small".  You are not and as so many things in life, there is likely always going to be someone with something bigger, faster, more expensive, etc. regardless of what it might be.  Try to be thankful that you have a penis that is average or larger and you don't have to deal with the daily struggles of an actually small penis man.  I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone.

I am sure this will ruffle some people up and create a lot of negative responses by those who, in reality don't have any real grounds to be complaining.  For us less endowed men, I do feel your pain, your suffering, your lack of confidence or love of your penis.  I wish there was some magic pill to allow us to just reach average.  Just take each day as it comes.  This site seems to have the focus of small penis support but trying to get advice or opinions from people who have no freaking idea what having an actual small penis is like, to me, it comes off insincere.

There, I have shared my thoughts, as they are.  Take away what you will. 

[topdog]

I'm not small, and I don't identify as small, I'm just a small-dick supporter, so make of my comments what you will, but I'm just letting you know that I don't have a horse in this race!

I think there's plenty of compassion and support to go round.  I have every sympathy for guys who are actually small, and always challenge small-penis body shaming whenever I hear it, as well as (hopefully) giving support to guys here etc.  I also have every sympathy for guys with body dysmorphia, who feel ashamed of their bodies because they believe their penis to be small.  As conditions like anorexia show, dysmorphia can be just as psychologically debilitating as an actual physical condition.  In the case of small penis dysmorphia it can lead to exactly the same feelings of shame and humiliation as you experience, smallgrower.  Yes, guys with dysmorphia have a chance of seeing the light and realising that their penis is average or actually large, but this isn't as simple as it sounds: it can take years of therapy to get someone to that point.  Red Scott has written extensively on this issue, as have other guys with dysmorphia at this site.

I'm also wary of all this talk about people not having 'real' grounds for complaining.  What are real grounds?  If I wanted to play devil's advocate, I could say that your penis barely scrapes below the average, from what you say it's perfectly functional.  It may seem to a guy with a 3" erection, or with serious ED, or with a penile disfigurement, that you've got nothing to complain about!

But you have.  You feel shamed and humiliated by your small(ish) erection, and that's what's important, because your feelings will influence the quality of your life.  It doesn't help to say that there are guys who are worse off - that doesn't make your 'feelings that never go away', go away!  Well, the feelings of a guy with small penis dysmorphia don't go away either.

Finally, having a small penis doesn't qualify someone to give advice and support.  You'll find plenty of small guys who'll say 'I got over it - why can't you?' and, always a favourite, 'You are not your penis'!   Just as ex-smokers can be the most condemning of those who still smoke, sometimes people who are dealing well with a condition can lose empathy towards those who are having more difficulty.  When I was getting over the death of my mother, I was happy to get love and support from anyone with compassion and understanding who was willing to give it - I didn't only take it from people who had lost a parent.

[TinyJock]

A couple ways to look at this.

1) Actual size often has little to do with how one feels about it. Many guys with average- to borderline-average penises feel they are too small. It doesn't really matter to them psychologically that statistically they're not. That's called Small Penis Syndrome. Many people feel they're too fat and diet to extremes because of this unrealistic fear. The singer Karen Carpenter died from anorexia. What's going on inside one's head is what counts. There are many guys who aren't all that bothered by having a small cock. There are some -- like me -- who love having a small cock. I wouldn't change a thing about me. It's what makes me who I am.

2) I've enjoyed the participation of many of the big boys. Not necessarily because of their sympathy. I have no need of that; I've got too much going for me. I just enjoy anyone who has something interesting to contribute to the conversation, regardless of their size. One of the best contributors here for many years was a guy called RoughPoint, who, if I remember correctly, was 7.5". The site's a lot duller since he stopped posting.  

Edited February 8, 2019 by TinyJock

[canuck45]

@TinyJock Interesting how you state actual size has nothing to do with how one feels.  Today chatting with a friend (we play on occasion).  He was telling me how he always thought of his cock as being small and recently took Viagra and was so hard he felt huge.  He actually said it might have been 1mm larger but felt like an inch.  I asked him what he thought of mine then if he felt his was small.  His reply, well yours is as big as mine and much thicker.  His feelings of his cock and his perception of mine.
 (I am shorter but yes slightly thicker).  He is ~6X4.5+ and I am 5x5 or so.

[Restoredude]

For me personally, I've always considered myself small based on flaccid size. Most normal, everyday comparison opportunities (at a urinal, gym showers, saunas, etc.) are where we observe other flaccid penises. I seldom see a penis smaller than mine, especially when it comes to girth. There are times when I have nothing but a little foreskin nub sticking out. That being said, my erect size is 6.5" length and 5.5"+ girth. Yes, that's larger than average, but that's not what most people see and what their perception of my size is.

This is why I consider myself small:

https://imgur.com/gtHuc1M

[Guest]

11 hours ago, canuck45 said:

@TinyJock Interesting how you state actual size has nothing to do with how one feels.  

"Nothing" to do with how one feels?  Actually he didn't say that.  Also the word "most" came into his thought process in the next sentence.

[canuck45]

@overthehill 

14 hours ago, TinyJock said:

Actual size often has little to do with how one feels about it. Many guys with...

 "many" not most.    See I can be a pedantic too. 
What I can't be is psychic and know his thought processes.

My last word on this thread: lloyd.

[Red Scott]

@smallgrower Let me first say that you are absolutely right in the respect that I for one don't know how how it feels to live with an erect size such as yours. I do however know what it's like to feel small, even though I now know I'm not. It's not a nice place to be and I could type all day long about the negative feelings this brings, but I think I've done this at length previously. Dysmorphia is very damaging but I doubt it's anything like the feelings you'd have with a physical size issue, because with treatment the end game of dysmorphia is it's overcome. A physical issue can be overcome in the way that you can learn to live with it, but it will always be there. 

As for guys on here over 6"x5" I think many of these have many reasons to be here. It could be "small penis syndrome" it could be dysmorphia, both these leaving a guy feeling small even though he's not. Bigger guys are here to show support, they may not be small but that doesn't mean they can't help. They are here because some bigger guys actually love the lesser endowed guy's and give support in this way. Surely it's nice to know that there's a whole bunch of people out there with a preference to the lesser endowed guys? Then there's the really big guys who suffer the same rejections, same body shaming etc, it's just they sit at the opposite end of the spectrum. But they can still offer support. 

There's a plethora of reasons why guys of whatever size are on here, but one thing I can say is that even the bigger guys never put down those with a lesser endowment, and let's be honest, many of us are at some point suspicious of the well endowed joining Measurection. The main thing to remember is that whatever a guys size happens to be, as long as he's showing love and support for everyone else, then there's no reason he shouldn't be here. If any bigger guy's on here display anything close to "bragging rights" it's quickly pointed out to them and in the years I've been on here I've only seen that twice! 

[RodEnuf]

On 2/7/2019 at 6:09 PM, in part, smallgrower said:

[...] makes me wonder what the hell anyone larger than 6"x5" is doing discussing small penises [...]

When I joined the site in 2001, the Measurection tag line was "For men with a small penis and for those who love them."  There are average and larger gay and bi men on the site who love guys with small dicks.

Alan G

[joey]

17 hours ago, Restoredude said:

For me personally, I've always considered myself small based on flaccid size.

 

We have a lot of posts here like the current thread "First cock you saw smaller than yours."  The wording puts a spin on it that we never really see smaller ones.  Maybe an ongoing thread like "The last time you saw a cock smaller than yours" would be helpful.  Honestly, I saw a smaller one last night at the gym.  And the "Younger with Larger" thread can make it seem all youngers have larger.  Maybe a "I just saw younger smaller than me" thread would help... something ongoing, that people could keep posting on.  

[Guest]

On 2/9/2019 at 5:59 AM, in part, joey said:

We have a lot of posts here like the current thread "First cock you saw smaller than yours."  The wording puts a spin on it that we never really see smaller ones.  [...]

I think you are accurately detecting the negative spin.

However, many of us with a very small and/or retracting flaccid penis are concerned about how rare we are.  Of course, we take some solace in being growers, not showers.  I've been in locker rooms all my life and have never seen a flaccid as small as mine since 7th or 8th grade.

Of course, there are reasons: 

1.  Very small flaccids are a small % of the population. 

2.  Many with very small flaccids probably boycott locker rooms entirely. 

3.  Many with very small flaccids, who do go to lockers room, probably refuse gang showers and/or change very carefully to avoid being seen at their locker.  I have seen guys changing very carefully and, of course, made no substantial effort to glimpse their dicks.  I notice that a few people wear their gym clothes to the gym and don't change or shower!

I'd say the wording reflects those of us trying to deal with the fact we never or seldom see anyone smaller than ourselves and wonder, "Gosh, just how much smaller than usual am I?"  We would like to think we are not completely alone.  

Though I haven't heard it in recent years, I used to hear guys with much larger flaccids than me joking that it must be cold out because they or a buddy's flaccid had shrunk.  I don't think anyone ever joked like that with me, realizing it wouldn't be a joking matter!

Then, of course, some people "see" their flaccids smaller than they really are!
 

[Guest]

On 2/8/2019 at 2:58 PM, canuck45 said:

@overthehill 

 "many" not most.    See I can be a pedantic too. 
What I can't be is psychic and know his thought processes.

My last word on this thread: lloyd.

Thanks for correcting the many/ most discrepancy..

I don't think my main objection was pedantic, however:  

Quote

Interesting how you state actual size has nothing to do with how one feels.

That would apply only to those suffering sps.  No, I'm not seeking "the last word", I really would like to hear your response.  It doesn't seem to me this issue is resolved.

[Red Scott]

@overthehill I doubt this issue will ever be truly resolved. Differing opinions and differing experiences will see to that. I simply try to take on board the opinions expressed to me on the basis that this is what a given person has experienced. 

[smallgrower]

Thanks to those who took the time to reply and thanks to @topdog and @Red Scott for understanding and saying there is a difference between feeling like you have a small penis and actually having a small penis.  As said, with therapy and work, body dysmorphia can be overcome and if you have a penis in the average or larger size, this puts you well ahead of the game.  For those of us who actually do have a small penis, no amount of therapy or work will ever overcome that physical aspect.  Sure we can get to a point where we accept or even love that we have a small penis but let me tell you, no matter how good I might be feeling about my small penis, when I try to have sex with my wife and the size completely limits what positions we can do or even try, the negative and shame feelings always come back.  With my flaccid size being just a nub, just taking a shower, going to the bathroom, getting dressed, heck even just walking around, I am always reminded of this.  The physical aspect never goes away.  It is like this constant reminder of how life short changed me and those who suffer from this.

This actual physical condition has prevented me from doing some things I would maybe like to try (basically most things that would have others see me naked).  I have that constant fear of judgement, that just because I have a small penis, I am a lesser person.  I think this feeling is more due to how society has promoted the "bigger is better" and "size matter" mottoes.  If people just understood that we have what we have and that everyone is different but that difference doesn't make anyone better or lesser of anyone else, society as a whole would be in a much better place.  It seems, at least from how I recall things were when I was younger, that breast size has become less stigmatized as it used to be.  I remember how a woman with small breasts would be mocked or made to feel bad.  If you had big ones, that was the cats meow.  Now it seems, at least from my perspective, breasts are celebrated as what they are and less of what size they are.  It seems the focus isn't they define the woman but are just part of the uniqueness of that woman.  That is not to say that women do not have their own issues with the "bigger is better" as I am sure the breast enhancement business is booming.  Sadly there is no penis enhancement that is safe and has long term success.

I think part of why I wrote the original post was my frustration of reading about men who complain about their "small penis" when in fact they do not actually have one but only the mindset that they do.  Yes there are many people larger and small, who are supporters of small penises but trying to give practical advice without every having the real physical issue, just rubs me wrong.  It is no different than a person who doesn't smoke, telling a person who does how easy it would be for them to quit.  They have zero idea of the struggle.  Same thing with an alcoholic or drug user.  Unless you have been in their shoes, you can only imaging what it "might" be like but will never know exactly what it is like.  A penis is no different, unless you actually have a small one, you will never know what it is like and the struggles of dealing with this physical issue.

Yes, I am a basically straight man with some bi-curious facets, who tries to accept what life has given him but deals with this struggle daily.  I think if people could actually be honest and not filter themselves trying not to hurt the other, being told something like "yes, you are small or smaller than average but you know what, that is perfectly okay!", this would help to give value to all penises, regardless of size.  Hearing people give the lines of "size doesn't matter", "it's how you use it" and the whole host of other phrases that try to make you feel better about this fact, just demoralizes the person.  Just having others 100% accept that yes, there are so many different sizes and it's perfectly okay, I feel could go a long way.  Getting people to stop the "humor" of small dick jokes or gestures, to understand how hurtful and long lasting these things can be to someone who does actually have a small penis.  Society needs to change their perception and celebrate the penis, much how the breast has become more celebrated.

[dtw1942]

What is a small penis. When I joined this group, my dick measured 5.5” X 4.4” BPEL which was on the lower side of average. However, That stat has only been observed by me in a mirror. The dick other people see measures about 1.5” to 2” X 3” (my flaccid size). It is this dick that caused me to join this group because it is that dick that caused embarasement when I had to use group open urinals and showers in HS and the army. My loss of confidence caused me to be a virgin until I was 26.

I have been engaged in Penis enlargement for the past eight years and now enjoy a 6.3” X 5.5” erection, but I still have a 2.5” X 3.5” flaccid. Yes, I am now well within the average range, but I can still relate well to the feelings of guys with smaller erections. To make things worse, I suffer with sever ED following 25 years being a diabetic.. The only way I can achieve and maintain  my 6.3 X 5.5 erection is to use a vacuum pump and a tight constriction band which significantly reduces sensativity. And has to be removed after 20 minutes.

I say make the best of what you have. The dick you might like to have, may not be the dick you want to have.

[Guest]

42 minutes ago, dtw1942 said:

What is a small penis. When I joined this group, my dick measured 5.5” X 4.4” BPEL which was on the lower side of average.

Nope.  the large side of average.  But, I know what you mean about flaccid.

I've been told NOBODY needs to see your flaccid dick, nobody cares.  Absurd.  You can't hide your dick for long unless you avoid most male activities.  Of course, it is true that nobody cares about your flaccid if it is small.

 

Edited February 13, 2019 by Guest

[canuck45]

16 hours ago, smallgrower said:

yes, you are small or smaller than average but you know what, that is perfectly okay

Ok I said it. 

that fear of judgement.  I was once with a guy and the first thing he said was he had a smaller penis and he did..maybe 3.5 -4"  and yes I said "it's size doesn't matter" and it didn't to me.  In the future I will try and say, its perfectly OK instead of "it doesn't matter"; obviously if he brought it up it matters to him. 

Recently a guy was cruising and in his profiIe it said "seeking hung guys", he connected with me online and I said sorry to disappoint you, I am hung like a hamster - (5" low side of average but still have some nagging feelings on size)  He said "thats the perfect size for oral, I like larger guys for anal but tonight I am just looking to give a blowjob".  He responded much better than I did with my situation and the other guy

Thank you for providing a better way to handle this.

[Allen43]

I’ve been acutely aware that my penis was small, if not tiny, since I was a young boy. I pretty much learned to accept it then and now but it still bothers me to be in actual situations where I have to expose it for others to see. When I’m masturbating I sometimes look at myself in the mirror and embrace my being so small and it actually stimulates me. It also turns me on when my wife masturbates me and reminds me of how tiny my thing is but I am not at ease or comfortable at all in real life situations where others see me naked. I once made myself overcome this feeling and exposed myself for others to see in a locker room environment. Nothing overt or obvious though but I gave anyone that might want to look an opportunity to do so. It was rather difficult for me at the time I was doing it but it tended to excite me later on. I doubt I can talk myself into doing something like that again. Even though I think I have accepted the fact that my penis is very small I still have conflicted feelings about exposing it for others to see. My penis is only three inches in length and just under three and half inches in girth when erect. Usually not much more than the very small glans of my penis is visible when I’m flaccid. I have small testicles as well. Anyway, that’s what I’m dealing with...and that’s pretty much it. 

[Red Scott]

One or two people have already mentioned this, but I too see my flaccid size as the one most others are likely to see and it is this that I see as small. Whilst I know my erect size is not at all detrimental my flaccid size is something that still causes me anxiety in times of public nudity such as in changing rooms. But even my flaccid I guess isn't too bad compared to what others describe on here. 

Edited February 14, 2019 by Red Scott
Posted before completion

[Guest]

On 2/8/2019 at 11:25 PM, RodEnuf said:

When I joined the site in 2001, the Measurection tag line was "For men with a small penis and for those who love them."  There are average and larger gay and bi men on the site who love guys with small dicks.

Alan G

I was just thinking that the original tag line does not reflect the actual use of this site.  The original tag line has a gay flavor to it which is OK.  Certainly, large guys who like small in a gay sense should be and are welcome.  Of course, those dealing with being small should be welcome.

However, it seems to me, that the main purpose of the site has evolved toward assuring average and above average guys that they aren't small.  This purpose is certainly OK with me but, unfortunately, contains the "hidden premise" that being average or better than average is very very imporant!  Apparently, there is no way around this.  Logic is logic.

Edited February 16, 2019 by Guest

[Red Scott]

@overthehill a sad fact of life is that the majority of guys all want to be bigger. The only exception being the guys with an already problematic very large penis. 

When societal views, opinions and expectations on penis size change, so that large is seen as no more desirable than the not large, then and only then, might we begin to see a guys self esteem less affected by whatever his size happens to be. 

I truly belive attitudes are beginning to head in the right direction. 

[RodEnuf]

@overthehill The "and those who love them" was not intended to refer only to men.  Guys who were around in the early years will recall that we had several women "who loved them" and were active participants on the site.

Many of the guys here are not actually small and we try to help these guys recognize that reality.  For guys who actually are smaller than average, we try to share our knowledge of how to have a genuinely fulfilling sex life despite our shortcomings.

Finally, let me point out that we had only a few large endowed men here before we added Video Chat.  And then we had a surge of big guys when Dick.net closed.  For better or for worse, a lot of the guys who came from Dick.net were invited and encouraged to join Measurection by already existing Measurection members.

Alan G -- Measurection Administrator

[Red Scott]

There's a lot of women out there who have no desire at all for a well endowed man. Many know sex can often be uncomfortable with these men. Even women who do show a desire for the well endowed do so out of simple curiosity. Statistics show the likelihood of encountering a well endowed man is low and this is possibly what fuels the curiosity. 

The many women who are happy to seek out and be with the lesser endowed male surely must count as "the lover's of" the smaller sized man should they not? Let's face it somewhere in the order of 80% of women are with a man who's erect manhood is between 4.5" - 6" long and the mode average being (I'll round it up) in the order of 5.2" means this size is what women are most likely to encounter. Yet many will hear this measurement and describe it as small, yet in the flesh see it as a good size. So whilst the number holds a view of small the sight of the same holds the view of a good size because its average, the most numerous and average by its very definition can't be small.

My point is that women put less emphasis on size because they go on previous experiences and whilst many women might not socially admit to a preference to the lesser endowed, this is exactly what they prefer and indeed expect to encounter. To me "preference of" is as good as "love of" and possibly many people think this too. 

[TinyJock]

On 2/8/2019 at 12:58 PM, canuck45 said:

@overthehill 

 "many" not most.    See I can be a pedantic too. 

I'm never pedantic.  Nor semantic. Can't be something I don't know the meaning of.